How does one begin to devour an elephant?

Posted in From Flab to Fab on June 12, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Many wise bloggers (redundant that, for thou art all wise, my clever, witty, web-savvy friends!) seem to be on their way to weight loss success, and of course, I too want to hop onto the rapidly departing bandwagon.

And that’s my problem right there, see. Because I know I’m supposed to be running alongside the bandwagon, or even push it for some much needed resistance training. But no, I want to hitch a ride while still reaping the same rewards as everyone else.

Ah, if only we could all do that… Wouldn’t that simplify life so much for everyone?

In case you haven’t noticed yet, I have quite an aversion to exercise. I prefer releasing my endorphins in less strenuous ways, like by sipping coffee whilst merely fantasizing about how I’m going to exercise.

But alas, I’m growing concerned almost as quickly as I’m growing sideways, because recent accidental glances at the mirror have revealed that certain appendages are … um… shifting thanks to that time-unfriendly phenomenon discovered by Sir Isaac Newton so long ago.

Of course, the culprit mirror was immediately covered with an enormous sheet, but too late, because the psychological damage has already been inflicted and no matter how hard I pinch my eyes shut, the horrifying image seems to be all too clearly etched onto my mind.

So, I seem to be having another day of good intentions (the second one this month, which is most unusual for me, because I’m normally VERY good at suppressing any health-related (healthy?) thoughts).

Make no mistake, I’ve been very good about my exercise. And every day finds me eagerly running to the refrigerator when retrieving my snacks or my coffee milk. I’ve even gone as far as moving the refrigerator a little further away, so now it takes me five steps to get there instead of the usual three.

Seriously though, I have to do something more. As soon as possible.

And not just because I have some important dates coming up, like being in a play (rehearsals start in a week, eeeek!), and ~~my 30th~~ my next very youthful birthday in two and a half months. Because let’s face it, dates come and go almost as quickly as my motivation, so not only do I need to start (again) but this time I need to STICK WITH IT.

So pray tell, oh fitness freaks, what keeps all of you motivated?

7 Comments

pylorns said:

I ask myself the same thing when i drive the car in the garage, walk right past the expensive weight set and proceed to walk up the stairs , and plop on the couch and turn on the tv.

June 13, 2004 10:00 AM

kalisah said:

hey...at least you walked up the stairs. That's something, right? I would TOTALLY count that as my exercise for the day...

June 13, 2004 12:12 PM

Zinke said:

Uhhmmm... Twinkies..... LoL!
Don't forget you've got to make exercise part of your daily routine. Err, at least I think that's the way. I go to the gym before I go home so I can miss the rush hour traffic. Better to mess around at the gym than sit in the car for an hour! =)

June 14, 2004 11:19 AM

mikey said:

well, it sounds like you've already listed a few things that should motivate yourself (the mirror, the play, etc.). so why aren't those working?

being a gym rat for so long, i can't really relate to not wanting to exercise, so i can't help ya there. i mean, how could you not like it? you get that blood pumping, that sweat dripping... and when you're done, you get that sense of accomplisment. still, after all these years, i still get that. every day. i think "well, i may not have done shit today, but at least i did that", or "man, i got all kinds of stuff done, and i got a hella workout. i rule!" for me, all my motivation comes from after the gym. i just need to get in there in the first place.

my advice? force yourself to exercise for a month. after that, it'll just become a habit (especially when you see positive results).

oh, and another good piece of advice - find an exercise partner, hopefully one who's at least as serious about exercise as you. when you're working out with someone, they'll (hopefully) make it more difficult for you to just blow off working out (as people tend to do).

just remember - if it was easy to dedicate exercise and stay fit, then everybody would be in great shape. don't be afraid to sweat. don't be afraid to get sore. it all feels goooood.

June 14, 2004 11:34 AM

Cat said:

Motivation? These other people losing weight. Your initial inspiration can remain your constant! I found that making time for exercise is when I combine it with something I already do. Like when you watch your fave show. (Hopefully it won't make you hate your show! lol)

Congrats on the upcoming youthful birthday too!

June 14, 2004 7:07 PM

AirMatix said:

VERY interesting question, you pose in the heading of this blog. How, indeed, does one begin to devour an elephant?

Personally I wouldn't recommend the tail - it is very hairy and smelly, and is usually used for swatting flies. Flies that are, no doubt, still tangled in the hair. No, stay away from the tail.

The trunk then? Noooooooo - not a good plan either. All sorts of fluid runs up and down the trunk - water on the way in, and snot and goo on the way out. Give it a miss.

So where to begin, then? Where indeed...

I'd say that one shouldn't even bother with devouring elephants. It's probably a better idea to settle for some Ben & Jerry's instead.

OR, if you want to lose some weight, you can take a bite out of an elephant's ear. And then start running and running and running. Good luck either way!

June 15, 2004 4:36 AM

Joelle said:

Try different things until you find something you like. I hated cardio till I found the Precor elliptical. I also am trying new things all the time. Yoga, tai chi, pilates, etc. Just keep plugging at it. :)

June 18, 2004 11:44 AM

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online

Joelle : Try different things until you find something you like. I hated cardio till I found the Precor elli... [go]
AirMatix : VERY interesting question, you pose in the heading of this blog. How, indeed, does one begin to devo... [go]
Cat : Motivation? These other people losing weight. Your initial inspiration can remain your constant! I f... [go]
mikey : well, it sounds like you've already listed a few things that should motivate yourself (the mirror, t... [go]
Zinke : Uhhmmm... Twinkies..... LoL! Don't forget you've got to make exercise part of your daily routine.... [go]
kalisah : hey...at least you walked up the stairs. That's something, right? I would TOTALLY count that as my e... [go]
pylorns : I ask myself the same thing when i drive the car in the garage, walk right past the expensive weight... [go]