Purring Dog?

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In addition to having flat feet and several psychological issues*, I now seem to be suffering from a new affliction.

I discovered it on Sunday morning at around 4:30a.m. (I'm being very specific, because I need your help in coming up with a diagnosis. So, if you're a lay-doctor who's been waiting for a big break, pay close attention, for this might just be your lucky moment!)

I was staying over at a friend's house in D.C. after attending her birthday bash, and her beautiful dog and I were the only creatures who were still awake at that hour. (Add insomnia to my list of ailments and conditions)

I was on the living room couch, reading a book and stroking the dog's ears.

Except for me turning a page, the AC, the occasional creaking of a floorboard and our breathing, everything was quiet in the house.

Until...

I gradually became aware of another sound.

The peaceful and contented purring of a cat.

I kept on reading and then I suddenly sat up with a jolt when I remembered that (cue scary thriller music) my friend doesn't have a cat!

Filled with sudden suspicion about the pureness of its lineage, I stared at the dog and - when it eventually began to stare back at me (and it's never a good sign when a dog stares back at you, especially not if it has a strange look in its eyes and saliva dripping from its jowls ) I put my ear close to its mouth and listened.

(Let me just add and emphasize that I really wasn't drunk.)

After listening to the dog's breathing for a few minutes, I became convinced that the dog was NOT somehow channeling a feline spirit.

However, the purring was still continuing at a steady pace and therefore the mystery still wasn't solved.

I looked under and behind the furniture for the hidden cat. (Although I knew full well that my friend would never have a cat or even look after someone else's, because her dog, who has a natural canine hatred towards all things cat-related, would devour it in one gulp.) The purring was loud, so it couldn't be very far away. (When I started crawling about on the floor, the dog cocked its head and watched me for a second before deciding that it would be better off by finding accommodation elsewhere. So before I knew it, the dog sprinted upstairs, leaving me to my own devices.)

After going around the room (yes, I was fairly obsessed about finding this invisible cat) and even into the adjacent kitchen (the purring never losing any volume, no matter how far away I ventured), I came to the slow realization that the purring was audible every time I took a breath. And even then it took me a moment to grasp that:

I WAS THE PURRER! (Is that even a word? Well, if not, then it is now.)

Yes, I'm quick on the uptake like that.

It was the weirdest thing, because I didn't feel a thing (not like when one has bronchitis - which I've had the "pleasure" of ailing from before - when every wheezing breath one takes is a painful struggle). My throat didn't have to be cleared and I didn't have any trouble when in- or exhaling. And my throat or chest wasn't even sore.

No matter how deep or shallow my breathing, the sound continued. And more than a day later, I'm still at it.

I'm absolutely stumped about what it could possibly be, because I still have no pain, and yet I'm still purring like a kitty who is getting a head scratch.

Any thoughts? (I'm not a smoker, and I also don't hang out in smoke-filled places or around people who smoke all that often.)

Come on then! Diagnose me, please!

Could it be that my wish to have a raspy voice is finally coming true after being slightly misinterpreted? (Yes, indeed, be careful what you wish for. Or if you're still going to make a wish, be really, really specific and clear about asking the universe for EXACTLY what you want.)

* By the way, you'd better add hypochondria to the list of psychological afflictions!

9 Comments

pylorns said:

you prob. have something in your sinuses...

pylorns said:

you know, like an Alien implant..

I think it's a redhead thing. Don't worry, you're in good company. :) Welcome to the club.

redsaid said:

Can't be my sinuses, or Dr. "Pie-horns," because it comes from the vicinity of my chest.

And Stacy, you mean to tell me that ALL REDHEADS PURR?!? (You have "bad kitty" in your domain name, so I totally expect this type of behaviour from you, har har.)

kellen said:

i can purr if i try, but that's always me making the noise in my mouth. maybe you should use your newfound talent to start a side business as a phone sex operator?

Beerslinger said:

Its proably a small amount of thick ckngestion lodged right around your vocal cords. Generally this happens as a result of an enviromental allergy, and can persist for several days.

I'm with Beerslinger. Actually, I used to have problems with asthma--now it only happens when I'm around cats, 'cos I'm allergic--but many times, even if I didn't have an asthma attack, I'd get a purring sound from my chest. I didn't feel like my breathing was restricted, I wasn't coughing up a lung, and I didn't feel tightness or anything. It was just all phlegmy up in there. Yum. If you don't have a history of asthma or allergies, and you can breathe just fine, I'm sure you'll be A-Okay once it gets rid of itself.

Linda said:

You don't have to be in pain to have an issue that requires attention. I'm inclined to think that it's an allergy issue. You might try the Benedryl, which will also cure you of that pesky insomnia.

Oh, and remember when I promised to give you the story of my Boerboel? Here it is.

P.S. A purring red head sounds like it could be rather sexy. If Benedryl works, you might not want to take it when you have dates. ;)

Zinke said:

Wow! I read something similar to that in a magazine/tabloid. It had a picture on the cover of a cat-woman and the article described the cravings of cat nip the lady had and odd stuff like that... Hmm... I'll have to do some research and send you a picture.

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • Zinke : Wow! I read something similar to that in a magazine/tabloid. It had a picture on the cover of a cat... [go]
  • Linda : You don't have to be in pain to have an issue that requires attention. I'm inclined to think that i... [go]
  • Cleveland Natalie : I'm with Beerslinger. Actually, I used to have problems with asthma--now it only happens when I'm a... [go]
  • Beerslinger : Its proably a small amount of thick ckngestion lodged right around your vocal cords. Generally this ... [go]
  • kellen : i can purr if i try, but that's always me making the noise in my mouth. maybe you should use your n... [go]
  • redsaid : Can't be my sinuses, or Dr. "Pie-horns," because it comes from the vicinity of my chest. And Stacy,... [go]
  • the motor city bad kitty : I think it's a redhead thing. Don't worry, you're in good company. :) Welcome to the club.... [go]
  • pylorns : you know, like an Alien implant..... [go]
  • pylorns : you prob. have something in your sinuses...... [go]
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