What's in a name, oh new and wannabe parents?

| | Comments (10)

I've been laughing so hard all afternoon that the neighbours have started banging on the walls in frustration.

Actually, they're doing some sort of extreme home makeover, but I rather like the idea that they could also be slightly annoyed by my ongoing, manic and hyena-like cackle.

The reason for my ab-strengthening outburst (does laughing-so-much-that-it-makes-your-stomach-ache-and-leaves-you-breathless count as exercise? Shall I hold my breath for six-pack abs?) is the always witty and creative Diana Goodman and her ongoing commentary on parents picking extremely bad baby names.

The awful names are actually just plain sad. But her comments are a scream! EVERY PERSON SHOULD READ IT BEFORE REGISTERING A BABY NAME.

So, pass on her URL to anyone you know who are about to have a kid. It may be too late for poor little Ms. Apple Paltrow-Martin and countless other innocents, but let's see how many little souls we can save from at least that one burden!

Warning though: don't read whilst consuming food or beverage. Could be fatal, or at the very least, incredibly messy.

P.S. If I'm not mistaken, parents somewhere in Asia were (thankfully!)prevented by a court from actually naming their kid after the devil a few years ago. I've tried looking it up online, but now I can't find it. Does anyone else remember it? Oh, and while looking - and just when I thought that it couldn't get worse - I stumbled onto this.

Anyway, if only all the crazy-name enthusiasts out there who procreate could be curbed by the courts...

10 Comments

Amber said:

I'll have to pass that link along to a friend who is expecting. I've never quite understood why people give their children names that are quite common. There are four different Hunters at my son's TKD school. My kids each have an old testament name, a "legal" name (i.e., connected to the law, I'm a dorky attorney, what can I say?), a Chinese name, and two surnames (mine and my husband's). They will no doubt get teased, and my poor older son is having quite a time learning to write his entire name before he starts school in the fall. But I figure some teasing will build character (you know, the whole "Boy Named Sue" theory). I don't see myself as a crazy-name enthusiast, just a long name enthusiast.

Sarah said:

I went to grammar school with a Kim Kimberly Kimm. In high school, I met a Typhannie. Should I ever breed, it's either Bob or Jane. That's it. Bob. Jane.

redsaid said:

Amber: I probably should've mentioned the reason behind my "pick-a-normal-name-for-your-kid-dammit-crusade:" As the bearer of a "unique" name myself I had to endure all the teasing and torture as a kid. NOT my dad, who for some obscure and selfish reason picked the name for me! And it actually wasn't "character building," it was just downright psychologically damaging! :-) Oh, and the torture is ongoing, because virtually no one in the States can pronounce my name. I hate it to this very day and it didn't help to make me feel "special" or "unique," just downright freakish.

So I'm with Sarah on this one... if I ever have kids, Bob and Jane it will be! And if they should choose to get creative stage names later in life, they can go right ahead.

Amber said:

I understand, Red. When I was young, "Amber" wasn't quite so popular as it is now. Whenever I read AmberBamberboo, I am always reminded of my elementary school nickname of "Amber Pampers." My other nickname was an ethnic slur revolving around my last name. The bigger problem now is that my first name is a very popular stage name among strippers (which I am not). Hopefully I haven't inflicted too much psychological torture on my kids.

Zinke said:

I recall when I was in 2nd grade there was a couple of kids from Louse. They had the oddest names. One was named Apple Some-sak (thats phonetic) and another named Ping Pong.

BTW, Red, what is your first name? (Might be best to spell it Fo-net-ik-lee =)

Funny, how kids can be so mean to each other. Can you imagine what my nick name was in elementry school? (I look back and think it's funny now...)

kellen said:

when i was in my full egypt phase, i declared that if i ever had a kid, i would name it ahkenaton. good thing i've now decided never to have kids. but that does not stop me from naming my cats charlemagne and brooksie, and my fish rapunzel, ajax, thelma, cyrus, and jean-luc.

pylorns said:

there are some parents really don't think things through...

mice said:

There is a great book Beyond Jason and Jennifer that we have been using. It has all kinds of great names, really too many names to take in. Boring names are great, but they are kinda boring. There are options beisdes the overused names, the awful names and the boring names though people. One just has to be a little creative about it.

I just don't want my kid to be one of 7 Connors in their class or whatever the flava of the month is.

In case you wonder no, mice is not my real name. I have a saint's name but no one calls me that. You can call me mice.

redsaid said:

Mmmm. Saint Mice. It has a nice ring to it.

I doubt though that thee,
Behave very Saint-leee.
So "just mice" it shall beeee.

What can I say, I feel awf'ly rhymeeeee.

And I'll stop now.

Connie said:

Hi Red. I have been lurking on and off, and figured it was time to say hi. I have five sons , and we have "normal" names and not so "normal" ones. I personally enjoy unique names.
I have a boring name, and don't really feel one way or another about it. None of my sons hate or love their names much- except Ronin has a certain sense of pride. I not only like the name Apple, but I imagine that she may love it someday too.

While I admit that children can be terribly cruel, I think if it isn't your name it is something else- glasses, weight, freckles, braces, big boobs, little boobs, ect ect. I think instead of worrying about what other people name their children and the teasing it may cause, maybe we should worry about teaching our children the importance of not hating, not bullying, and not insulting others.
I have heard of people that give their child names that I think are horrible, but who am I to say? I can see things like Osama or Satan or Hitler being a bit prohibitable, but I can not see accepting a law that gives the power of approval or denial to someone other than parents.

So, my short hello turned into a sort of blabbering rant- that is pretty typical of me hehe.

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comments
  • Connie : Hi Red. I have been lurking on and off, and figured it was time to say hi. I have five sons , and we... [go]
  • redsaid : Mmmm. Saint Mice. It has a nice ring to it. I doubt though that thee, Behave very Saint-leee. So ... [go]
  • mice : There is a great book Beyond Jason and Jennifer that we have been using. It has all kinds of great n... [go]
  • pylorns : there are some parents really don't think things through...... [go]
  • kellen : when i was in my full egypt phase, i declared that if i ever had a kid, i would name it ahkenaton. ... [go]
  • Zinke : I recall when I was in 2nd grade there was a couple of kids from Louse. They had the oddest names. ... [go]
  • Amber : I understand, Red. When I was young, "Amber" wasn't quite so popular as it is now. Whenever I read... [go]
  • redsaid : Amber: I probably should've mentioned the reason behind my "pick-a-normal-name-for-your-kid-dammit-c... [go]
  • Sarah : I went to grammar school with a Kim Kimberly Kimm. In high school, I met a Typhannie. Should I eve... [go]
  • Amber : I'll have to pass that link along to a friend who is expecting. I've never quite understood why peo... [go]
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