August 2004 Archives

The 30th on the 30th

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Turbulent 20's no more.

At midnight last night, I officially entered my dirty 30s. I was at the cast party and doing way too many shots and chasers. (Oh, yes: the run of the play ended on Saturday night. We might be back though for another show. But more about that later.) Can't remember very much (thank goodness) except that I had drunken depression at one stage and calling someone in the middle of the night and talking (and hysterically giggling) a lot about a potentially new story character named Peter Panther (a combination of Peter Pan and the Pink Panther. Don't ask. No really. Don't. 'Cause I won't be able to explain it.).

So now I'm a "little bit" hung-over and in desperate need of a long, warm shower.

And yes, my bones definitely feel creakier today at thirty than they did yesterday at 29. Do you think my post-midnight stumble through the backyard in the dark could possibly have anything to do with my (deeply hidden) skeleton's state..?

Blog Neglect

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Hey, you guys?

Come back here!

Yeah, you and you and... mmm, we seem to have lost the other one.

I know I've been quiet lately (and note that I didn't receive any complaints about that from any of my three loyal readers.* I'm sooo touched, y'all!), but there is a good - actually, an excellent - explanation for it.

I've never told you guys, but every weekend night after we perform our play, another one act is performed at the same threatre.

Their cast is quite unique, since one of the members has four legs, two ears and a perpetually wagging tail. Yep, it's a dog. But not just any dog! Since the play is about blindness, she is a genuine seeing eye dog.

Her master has kindly loaned her services to the production, and needless to say, that sweet black lab is the star of the show.

It's a highlight of our week to go to the theatre and to see Libby. Her owner, Mike, is extremely nice for allowing us to give her treats and to pet her to our heart's content.

Today is Mike's birthday, so I sent Libby the following e-mail (since his e-mail address is her name):

Potty Humour

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I have a severe phobia of public restrooms.

I know this condition of mine isn't unique. I remember it being discussed by a few other bloggers - one entry in particular by her from a while back springs to mind - so I'm not going to bore you with the gory details or the reasons about why I have this fear. I'm sure you're all imaginative enough to figure it out for yourselves.

I also won't tell you about the great lengths I go to in order to not have to go to public restrooms. So luckily for you, you'll remain blissfully unaware of how I dehydrate myself like a thoroughbred Saharan camel for at least three days before I dare to venture outside the vicinity of my very private and safe home bathroom.

But oh, dear... sometimes such thorough preparations can't always be undertaken. Like, well... when unexpected stuff happens.

Because during last night's performance, every possible thing (and things that I had never even considered!) went wrong for me. Yes, including the bloody television and remote.

And it was a packed house.

What can you do? The show must go on. And so it will. Tonight. And I will. And I will probably survive it, yet again. Albeit not in the least bit unscathed...

After reading how one critic described me as "an English woman who looks like she's about to give birth to a basketball," she tried reassuring me that my fake basketball belly can't possibly look worse than that of one of the female characters on Days of our Lives whose fake belly apparently got squished during a dramatic rescue scene or something.

But alas, that just reminded me...

Another one down


That would be another casht... I mean,

Oh, yeah... and yet another performance too.

No lines forgotten, dropped or stolen from or by my leading man. And, best of all...

First Review

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So the first review is out.

And not that we care what the critics think or anything (riiiiiiiight), but in this case the guy liked it. (Phew!)

Therefore we all like the review. Even I like the review. Despite the fact that the reviewer described my character as:

I actually survived my first night of performing. (And please note: I use the term very loosely when describing my own on-stage shenanigans.) And I only had ONE major flub. (Which, if you want to get technical, was 20 minutes long. Which is the whole time that I'm on stage.)

Anyway, so, that's one "performance" down. Leaving us with (and here the terror overcomes me again) FIFTEEN to go... ugh.

I was mistaken. The media wasn't at last night's performance. Which means they could show tonight. Or tomorrow night. Suddenly (and here she brings a trembling hand to her brow) I feel... a... bit... faint.

Perhaps it's the understudy's time to shine, no? Besides, this whole in-the-spotlight thing is really very overrated, especially if no multi-million dollar movie deal contracts are being signed and no paparazzi are lurking in the shadows to document my every misstep graceful move.

Happiest Moments

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So she has this on her blog (and I've seen it in a couple of other places too) and since I'm going through all of this angst about my pending 30th(!!!!) birthday and the opening of the play tonight(!!! I've decided that it can't possibly have more exclamation points than the prospect of forever departing from my youthful-even-if-often-turbulent twenties. No matter how terrified I am of performing tonight.), I've decided I might as well participate. Even though it's probably going to take some serious brain-wracking to come up with: daily happiest moments for every day in August. So since I'm a few days behind (and since this is my birthday month and I've been meaning to be introspective anyway and try and come up with some different memories from my life and write down a different one every day... yeah, yeah... so I haven't! What can I say? I procrastinate the actual act of procrastination.) let's play a bit of catch-up. Well, at least with the happiest moments thing.



Sorry for being so scarce! (Enjoy the blissful silence while it lasts though!)

Been super busy because THE DREADED PLAY OPENS TONIGHT (AS IN TO-NIGHT!!!!!!!) and we've had to iron out a few eh... "minor" crises.

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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