Bearing a Basketball is quite Laborious

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After reading how one critic described me as "an English woman who looks like she's about to give birth to a basketball," she tried reassuring me that my fake basketball belly can't possibly look worse than that of one of the female characters on Days of our Lives whose fake belly apparently got squished during a dramatic rescue scene or something.

But alas, that just reminded me...

During last weekend's opening performance, my leading man poked my fake bean-baggy-pillowy belly with way too much enthusiasm at one point during our performance leaving a huge and very obvious dent in it!

We both looked down at it for a split second in complete horror... and at that moment I was sooooo tempted to say: "Well would you look at that! The poor kid is obviously a bit soft in the head, just like her father!"

I didn't, but in retrospect, I think I should have, don't you think?


pylorns said:

that would have been freaking funny.

Maddi said:

Yep, you should have, it would have been ace! Just go with the flow next time...

Hey, that reminds me of the time I watched Romeo and Juliet in an open air theatre in Amsterdam. Every time an airplane came over, the entire cast on stage would freeze mid-action, and put their hand to their foreheads and gaze at the plane. They just turned it into a kind of running gag. Awesome.

James said:

I say when in doubt, ad-lib. That would've had me rolling. But, since I'm in a wheelchair anyway, I guess that's not saying much. So, I'll say that would've had me laughing really, really hard!

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • James : I say when in doubt, ad-lib. That would've had me rolling. But, since I'm in a wheelchair anyway, I ... [go]
  • Maddi : Yep, you should have, it would have been ace! Just go with the flow next time... Hey, that reminds ... [go]
  • pylorns : that would have been freaking funny.... [go]
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