Bad News

| | Comments (11)

I'm not quite sure how to begin this post.

You see, yesterday we received some really REALLY bad news. That's not the reason why I've been so quiet on here lately. In fact, it has nothing to do with my silence. Suddenly the reasons for my silence seem very insignificant and trivial now. So much so that I suddenly can't really remember what they were at all.

I don't want to use the bad news as "blog fodder," but writing is something I use to work something out in my head (or out of my mind, for that matter. Exorcise the demons, so to speak). To try and explain things to myself, you know? To bring understanding and hopefully, eventually, peace.

But now I have to use writing to somehow make it real, because shock has made me numb and disbelieving.

Yesterday, my darling boy's father's house burned down. It was a historic mansion, built in 1875 on a hill in a small Tennessean town. It's the place where the boy and his brother were born and grew up; one of the first buildings that inspired the boy to become an architect. After his parents divorced, his father stayed on there and because it was too big just for himself, he decided to share it with the world by turning it into a beautiful inn.

And now, just like that, in the blink of an eye, it has been lost.

The boy is surprisingly philosophical: just grateful that his father - who was still living there until yesterday - wasn't home at the time. Grateful that there weren't any guests at the time. But still... Perhaps when it sinks in, there will be more sadness. For now, he is in operational mode, on the phone and trying to find out what can be done to help. He even said to me: "It was just material things."

And yes... but, am I just a sentimental fool to think that a childhood home is more than that?

It's a double wammy for his family: last week, during Ivan the terrible, his mom's Florida condo was lost. Her attitude about that loss is also wonderful, though, because she said that it wasn't her main home, and she felt so heartbroken for all those who DID lose their main residences.

They're both right of course. We should be grateful that everyone is still all right.

I just feel so utterly helpless and really sad for them all.

11 Comments

Stacy, mcbk said:

Oh, R. ... that's awful news, though!

(((GREAT BIG HUGS))) to you and your boy's family.

I will be praying for them.

kim said:

yeah, that is horrible. and the boy is great. but that's probably the fact that there's so much to do now and figure everything out. i suppose once that's all done and there's actual time to think, he'll get what really happened..that's how it was for me when i lost my mom..i'm glad everyone is okay though and after all - it really is just material things.. sending hugs to you all from the other side of the ocean though ;o)

sphinx said:

Oh boy that is not good news. I hope they have some good pictures to remind them of the times they spent there. My mom always tells me, "It's not the place that makes the memories, it's the people." Good to hear they are all ok!

pylorns said:

Someone doesnt like his parents good lord.

kellen said:

i'm glad your boy has such a good outlook on the situation. i find, in dealing with unpleasantness, if i can find a brighter way to look at the situation, it lessens the overall shock and awfulness. i'm glad everyone is all right most of all.

Natalie said:

While you're not a sentimental fool, Boy and his family have a wonderful outlook to get them through this. Pobrecitos. Big hugs to all of you.

MJ said:

Horrible news! It's amazing how trivial other things, that once seemed important, become when something really earth-shattering happens.

Sadness will come but the right perspective on things is already there and will help out in the long run. They were important material things that got lost, but having loved ones around is the thing that matters most.

martha said:

I think that often things that are more sentimental value than material are harder to lose - because they're irreplaceable. Please tell the boy that I'm thinking of him and his family (both parents)... how hard.

Malia said:

My grandparents' house burned down a couple of years ago. The home where my mother and her siblings grew up. Where I practically grew up, as well. It was sad and getting through it was tough for the grand'rents. But knowing that noone was hurt is the best thing. It's possible to get over losing "things." Losing a loved one is far worse.

Sweety said:

I'm sorry girl! Best wishes to you & your family.

Helen said:

It is heartbreaking, but I am so damn impressed with Boy and his family's response. They aren't going to let life stop them, their grief perhaps for the home, but more than that, their joy that no one was hurt.

I understand your sadness, but I also shake my head at how wonderfully your loved ones handle themselves. My God you're lucky.

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • Helen : It is heartbreaking, but I am so damn impressed with Boy and his family's response. They aren't goi... [go]
  • Sweety : I'm sorry girl! Best wishes to you & your family.... [go]
  • Malia : My grandparents' house burned down a couple of years ago. The home where my mother and her siblings... [go]
  • martha : I think that often things that are more sentimental value than material are harder to lose - because... [go]
  • MJ : Horrible news! It's amazing how trivial other things, that once seemed important, become when somet... [go]
  • Natalie : While you're not a sentimental fool, Boy and his family have a wonderful outlook to get them through... [go]
  • kellen : i'm glad your boy has such a good outlook on the situation. i find, in dealing with unpleasantness,... [go]
  • pylorns : Someone doesnt like his parents good lord.... [go]
  • sphinx : Oh boy that is not good news. I hope they have some good pictures to remind them of the times they ... [go]
  • kim : yeah, that is horrible. and the boy is great. but that's probably the fact that there's so much to d... [go]
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