Pumpkin Time!

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Aaah, yes pumpkins.

It's that time of year again.

That time of year when I can move freely and virtually invisibly outside, my large orangey-reddish head sufficiently blending in with the fall foliage and the carved pumpkins.

Also, thanks to her foresight, I didn't even need a special Halloween blog skin for the occasion with this orangey goodness that she designed for me back in May. Thanks, Joelle! I still think you're a genius.

After a weird weather week (ooh, look! Alliteration!) during which Baltimore was shrouded in fog (how Edgar A. Poe-esque!) and the moon was eclipsed, leaving the neighbourhood dogs confused ("Do we howl? Do we bark? Growl?"), and the cats clawing the furniture (oh, right. They always do that), the sun decided to reappear with glorious warmth and force, leaving us with a very beautiful and very unscary day.

(Unscary. Is that even a word?)

I'm soo delirious and high from all the alcohol and Halloween candy, this beautiful spell of weather (pardon the attempt at a Halloweenish pun) feels positively tropical to my warm-weather starved South African system. I'm so happy about the weather, that I'm going to postpone the ritual I reserve for this time of year, this time when the clocks in almost every United State move back one hour, depriving me of an hour of daylight and leaving me no choice but to gnaw my wrists off in a fit of sunlight deprived depression. (Yeah, yeah, don't tell me that this allows the sun to come up an hour earlier. I'm not a morning person, OR a farmer, OR a school kid, so that morning sun is wasted on the likes of me.)

But like I said, the gnawing will commence tomorrow. For now, happy delirium abounds.

So drunk and delirious am I, in fact, that while scouring the news on the internet this morning, my "disleksickness" kicked into high gear yet again and a headline about the election, just like the weather, took an unexpected tropical turn and I read the following:

"Dreadlocked Bush and Kerry Hit Swing States Hard."

Oh, man... can you IMAGINE? How I wish I was prolific in Photoshop!

Update: Luckily for all of us, the boy happens to be very Photoshop savvy, so here, for your pre-election viewing pleasure (cue the reggae tunes):

bush dreadlocks.jpg
Bright eyed and Bushy haired.

kerry dreadlocks.jpg
"Buffaloooo Soldier, in the heart of Ameeeericaaaa."

P.S. I had to scare you. It's Halloween after all!

Oh, and a little disclaimer: Osama bin Laden's likeness was never used.


Natalie said:

Those cracked me up!

mice said:

I feel like I went to college with the two presidential candidates.

pylorns said:

man i love pumpkin ice cream...

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • pylorns : man i love pumpkin ice cream...... [go]
  • mice : I feel like I went to college with the two presidential candidates.... [go]
  • Natalie : Those cracked me up!... [go]
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