Elusive Inbox: 1.

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So you all know that I'm mildly (okay, ha ha ha, WHO ARE WE KIDDING?) techno challenged.

I've been known to release thousands of deadly viruses into the universe by merely sending an innocent e-mail. (That is, when I manage to successfully log on to the computer in the first place.)

But this is something that not even I have encountered ever before.

So along with giving me this beautiful blog, she also included an e-mail account, called, very appropriately, Horde.

It's appropriate because I'm sentimental about my e-mail, so I never delete anything. Yes, really. (My quest at putting G-Mail's initial promise that you'll "never have to delete another e-mail for as long as we both shall live" to the test is already well underway.) Well, spam gets ruthlessly zapped of course, but other than that, I proudly live up to the Horde account name.

Anyway, so you know how one sometimes skip over some e-mails, like say, Stat reports, in order to get to the good stuff written by those unfathomable beings who not only waste their precious time by reading this blog, but then also take even more of their precious minutes to write comments about the nonsense they read here?

Well, this amazing e-mail that allows me to Horde mail until the End of Time, also sends me an e-mail whenever someone lowers themselves to leave a comment on my blog. So, sometimes, I skip over the Stat reports and Viagra mails in my eagerness to lap up the witticisms you guys leave here, before then hording those witticisms for all eternity.

Anyway, so until I get back to reading the Stat reports and the touching pleas from Viagra, my inbox will show that I have some unread messages until I, well, read them! (The logic behind this is simply astounding, isn't it?)

Thing is, I've been procrastinating the reading of the Viagra mails for a few days now. So finally, last night, in a remarkable and highly unusual display of discipline, I got down to business and waded through all the mail until I got to delete all the spam.

Now, let it be known that I GOT ALL OF IT. I'm SURE of it.

Thing is, every single time I logged on after that, I saw this:

Inbox: 1.

Also, I need to mention here that Horde is very user friendly. In fact, until you read an older message, they'll continue to send you right back to that page where the unread message is clearly displayed in bold.

Well, I went through a good twenty pages. There were no bold, and therefore unread, messages.

So I decided to refresh the page.

And what do you know?

Inbox: 1.

So I decided to deal with it in the same way that I deal with all of my problems: ignore it and go to sleep.

This morning I run to the computer, log on optimistic that the amount of mails in my inbox will actually be the amount of NEW mails that I got.

It said: Inbox: 3.

Nice change, right? Thing is, I only saw TWO messages in bold.

So I read the two messages. And logged out. And logged in again.

That's right. Inbox: 1.

And now, hours later, I'm sitting here with red eyes, shot nerves and with bold patches on my head where only days ago, when I still lived in innocence and the bliss of sometimes (okay, who am I kidding? Mostly) having an Inbox: 0, I also still had hair. Lots of hair.

And still, it reads... no it TAUNTS: Inbox: 1.

H...e...l...p...M...e...................................

5 Comments

LT said:

HAHAHAHA! It's the supersecret email robot thingy! Gets you every time!

I hear you have to offer it cookies. A special kind, too. And they have to be homemade, delectable, and shaped like stars.

martha said:

That's the secret email I sent you - you haven't been able to find it????

Man, that would drive me nuts too... is there any way you can mark some emails unread and then try reading them and see if that works???? blech.

Annika said:

I must agree with the robot theory! When in doubt, always blame the robots.

Christine said:

Or a more profound thought (not that the robots weren't a good idea, but you know...) is to contact your host (that would be me) via the Helpdesk (that would be linked on the Blogomania page) and cry out for ... well, help. And then we would investigate it for you and try to make it all better. *AND* we would teach you how to use Spam Assassin, so that you didn't have to wade through all the Viagra stuff. Or ... even better ... if you wanted, we would teach you how to get around that silly page with the number and go straight into the inbox. Or maybe you would like to use Thunderbird to read your e-mail? It's much faster than Horde, especially if you like to horde your mail. What? Like to read it on the server because you don't want to download it because you read it in 2-3 places (work, school, whatever)? Well, that is the beauty of IMAP - I do the same thing!

Oh, the wonders that await you... just by asking for help. I'm willing to totally hook you up. I'm cool like that.

dave said:

Hmmm, well if you're using IMAP to get your e-mail, I wouldn't be bothered by this. IMAP has this stupid tendency to create a hidden e-mail message to keep track of folders and all of that lovely stuff in your account. Sort of like internal bookkeeping.

What e-mail client do you use? Depending on the version, I could show you how to actually see that e-mail message that's hidden but you shouldn't really delete it because it will just get created again. Most applications that use IMAP have a feature that gets rid of the notification of that particular hidden e-mail.

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • dave : Hmmm, well if you're using IMAP to get your e-mail, I wouldn't be bothered by this. IMAP has this s... [go]
  • Christine : Or a more profound thought (not that the robots weren't a good idea, but you know...) is to contact ... [go]
  • Annika : I must agree with the robot theory! When in doubt, always blame the robots.... [go]
  • martha : That's the secret email I sent you - you haven't been able to find it???? Man, that would drive me ... [go]
  • LT : HAHAHAHA! It's the supersecret email robot thingy! Gets you every time! I hear you have to offer i... [go]
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