Happy Un-niversary!

Posted in Memoirs on November 11, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Yesterday, exactly eight years ago (EIGHT YEARS... allow a moment to let that sink in, please!), I stumbled off an aeroplane*, sans luggage, a la refugee, and into the welcoming (albeit slightly chilly on that November 1996 day) arms of America.

Okay, the part about being sans luggage wasn't exactly my doing (even though, sadly, the part about me looking like a refugee WAS all my doing!). I wish I COULD travel that light, but alas, my purse alone contains everything from a casket to a needle and anything in between WITH PLENTY OF ROOM LEFTOVER for all the how-to books I purchase on a ~~daily~~ ~~weekly~~ monthly basis.

No, the luggage was lost courtesy of several British Scareways baggage handlers at Heathrow (for once losing something wasn't my fault) and thus I ended up spending my first night in the United States very sexily in...

... my freckles.

AND, ye dirty minded beasts, a floral flannel granny-like get-up dating from the Victorian era and graciously loaned to me by my hostess.

Anyway, so happy eight-year (and one day) anniversary to me! Even though I am a day late and a few dollars short, as per usual.

You see, I was just so overcome with emotion yesterday that I couldn't write a word or even speak... of course, on the bright side, that latter affliction had the boy believing he was right in the middle of Heaven, or wherever else peace and quiet reign supreme.

So, dear United States and Americans: Over these past eight years you’ve all been incredibly kind to me – even if you were also at times slightly puzzled by me – and for that I would like to thank you sincerely, from the bottom of my bleedin’ heart.

Now, how ‘bout that Green Card we’ve been so patiently waiting for these past four years? (Please?)

When you give it to me, I promise I’ll be a good, obedient citizen, and even stop barking at passers-by.

* You can take the girl out of Africa, but I’m afraid you can’t take the spelling – leftover from British Colonialism – out of the girl, even though I know that typing ‘color’ instead of “colour” could shave a good 10 wpm from my typing speed!

4 Comments

kim said:

happy 8th anniversary! never regret coming? don't you miss your friends and all? i'm afraid of that if i happen to "have to" move over there with the man one day.. and the bush-situation doesn't make it any more appealing *sigh*

November 11, 2004 5:17 AM

Cherryflava said:

Eight years....jislaik that's a fair time.
Well done...it till escapes me as to why you want to stay, but all the same.
Gooi yourself a lekker braai...with a chop, dop and a mop...and you're laughing.

November 11, 2004 5:38 AM

Helen said:

Happy anniversary, sweetie! Ironically, my 5th anniversary of LEAVING said grand and glorious shores is coming up the end of the month.

So, as a gift-I hearby swear that if you are ever deprived of your luggage by British Airways (whom are, actually my favorite airline, as they just openly hate you instead of pretending to like you like the other airlines do), then I will mail you a pair of clean new knickers and some BeneTint.

Anything I can do to help.

November 11, 2004 4:04 PM

pylorns said:

why did you come here?

November 12, 2004 1:00 PM

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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