Shakespeare hath gone to da Doggz

Posted in Amusement Park on November 22, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Cue the infomercial music:

Have you ever listened closely to a rap artist speaking during an interview and thought to yourself: "Oh, what extraordinary linguistic skill! How I wish I could command the English language like that! After all, I've always strived to sound exactly like an individual hailing from the ghetto."

Well, thanks to Snoop Dogg and this site*, now y'all too can sound like dat! (Well, they'll translate any written text from the web, but if you read it out loud enough times, I'm sure you'll sound stylishly ghetto in almost no time at all!)

So, ever wondered what Snoop would sound like if he's asked to recite a Shakespearean sonnet?

No? Well, tough luck, my sibling, fo’ ya’ll iz about ta find out.

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like da sun / Coral is far mo' red than her lips’ red: / If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; / If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her heezee… / And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare / As any brizzle belied wit false compare, know what I'm sayin'? —Sonnet CXXX, with my personal apologies to the late Mr. William Shakespeare.

*Thanks to my girl Carmen who found it via someone else.

And um... no Snoop, half the time, unfortunately, I DON'T know wha'tch y'all iz sayin'.

6 Comments

kim said:

this is cool, and i'll "translate" all the websites i know now, know what I'm sayin' ;o) peace!

November 22, 2004 2:49 AM

Cherryflava said:

The Shizzolator didn't understand me....damb...wazzzup dog....cat got your tongue?

November 22, 2004 4:24 AM

martha said:

i love that website. somewhere there's a similar one that will translate into other dialects - valley girl, etc...

November 22, 2004 6:57 AM

kimberly said:

This is a public service that the world has been desperately needing.

November 22, 2004 7:12 PM

miked said:

I told all the guys in the televissel department... they love it... nah wat I'm sayin'

November 23, 2004 1:01 AM

The Zero Boss said:

I guarantee you someone is going to hell for this one.

November 23, 2004 4:23 PM

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online

The Zero Boss : I guarantee you someone is going to hell for this one.... [go]
miked : I told all the guys in the televissel department... they love it... nah wat I'm sayin'... [go]
kimberly : This is a public service that the world has been desperately needing. :D... [go]
martha : i love that website. somewhere there's a similar one that will translate into other dialects - valle... [go]
Cherryflava : The Shizzolator didn't understand me....damb...wazzzup dog....cat got your tongue?... [go]
kim : this is cool, and i'll "translate" all the websites i know now, know what I'm sayin' ;o) peace!... [go]