Under Attack

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Oh, fortheloveofallthatispureinthisworld!

My e-mail account is still possessed.

And I'm afraid conditions are worsening by the second...

Okay, so if you don't know what I'm talking about (as usual?) and you're too lazy busy to click on the above link or to scroll down to the previous post and read all about the e-mail account that has been taunting me with the existence of a phantom post, well, then I suppose I'll just have to tell you all over again how I have this e-mail account that has been taunting me by telling me that I have one new e-mail in my inbox when there really isn't any new e-mail in my inbox.

Got it? Good.

This has been going on for THREE TERRIBLE DAYS.

And I'm a Virgo. So these types of things annoy me ever so slightly, you know? (Plus, I'm way too curious to give it a rest, just in case someone really DID send me an e-mail and I'm too dumb to find it, thereby missing out on a potential ego boost. Oh, come on, just allow me to fantasize a little, won't you?)

Anyway... so yesterday, I warily opened up said possessed e-mail account.

I saw: Inbox: 4.

So I knew that, unless the cyber demons had decided to go soft on me and take their demonizing business elsewhere, I actually only had three new e-mails.

(Believe me, calculating that was an extraordinary feat considering my absolute lack of mathematical skills.)

And, by George, there it was: three e-mails boldly proclaiming their purity of being unread.

Eagerly I opened up the first one. And the second one! Oh, the indescribable joy of having real, unread messages!

I optimistically proceeded to the third e-mail. It was a message from Germany (but luckily it wasn't more exotic German spam) and from her.

I read it. And here I just have to admit that it took place before I had the chance to drink my morning coffee, so I was obviously a bit confused.

Even so, my decaffeinated confused self was suddenly a bit more puzzled than usual, and wondering if perhaps the serious withdrawal symptoms caused by her not having seen her man in such a long time had begun to take a toll on her memory or something, because the message I was reading seemed awfully familiar to me.

In fact, it seemed to be a verbatim copy of a comment that she had sent me just a few days earlier. (Not that I particularly mind copies, you know? I mean, even replicas of old messages are better than having no new messages at all. And it's DEFINITELY better than having a stubborn, sticky phantom mail!)

So I checked my blog, just to make sure that she had indeed decided to resend her previous comment.

And guess what? It wasn't on the blog!

I immediately logged back into the e-mail account. What did I find there?

That's right. Inbox: 2.

Cue the Psycho soundtrack, because:

There was still no sign of any new e-mails...

It took a while for the harsh reality to penetrate the layer of fog and shock in my mind and bring home the fact that my phantom, demonic e-mail has spontaneously (and overnight) spawned another. And Kim, I'm afraid it used that previous message from you to procreate.

(Don't worry, I'm not blaming you! Perhaps I'm just a little afraid of you now... JUST kidding.)

Anyway, I've checked and rechecked to see that there really isn't any mail that's simply been overlooked. And really, REALLY, there isn't.

And still, every single time I log on, it continues to taunt me: Inbox 2.

Thus I'm left emotionally scarred (so much so that I nearly wrote e-motionally... damn e-mail!) and almost longing for the good ol'e days (not so long ago, mind you) when I often logged in to find this: Inbox: 0.

Almost... but not quite though.

And I've finally reached the following conclusion:

THIS must be why mail is a homonym for MALE!

(Update: The delicious owner of Big Pink Cookie and blogger extraordinaire Christine - who also happens to be redsaid's gracious hostess - has offered an expert and helping hand to exterminate the phantom mails AND to help me with a whole array of other things that I didn't even know was possible. Yes, it is really that evident that I am in dire need of an "eedjukasion". Oh, girl, you are SO on! And thank you in advance for the saintly patience that my general dunceness is going to require of you.)

6 Comments

dave said:

Hehe, I can understand the annoyance factor. Just commented on the last post with regards to this. :)

Christine said:

I am a very patient woman. Solving all of your e-mail woes is my job. I will do anything you need. Just tell me...

First thing I'll tackle on the server end is trying to figure out the phantom e-mail problem. Second, I need to know if you want to use something like Thunderbird to get your e-mail, or if you want to continue hording it on the server. And then, if you use Thunderbird, if you want to leave it on the server too - in case you want to read it from some place else.

E-mail me. We'll get busy on this.

pylorns said:

i sent you email.

Cherryflava said:

This explains what happened to those mails I sent you.

Will have to stick to our respective comment tools..

kim said:

i'm so sorry the demon used me to freak you out! bad, bad e-mail-demon. using innocent german.. and now that you mentioned the serious C-withdrawal on your blog i feel i have the permission to use your comments to bug the sh** out of your readers as well as mine and say: only 26 days to go. ;o) and i hope you'll solve that e-mail-thing soon...

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • Tony Halik : seduced mature trailers ivanova =) seduced mature trailers leonova =) seduced mature trailers petrov... [go]
  • kim : i'm so sorry the demon used me to freak you out! bad, bad e-mail-demon. using innocent german.. and ... [go]
  • Cherryflava : This explains what happened to those mails I sent you. Will have to stick to our respective comment... [go]
  • pylorns : i sent you email.... [go]
  • Christine : I am a very patient woman. Solving all of your e-mail woes is my job. I will do anything you need.... [go]
  • dave : Hehe, I can understand the annoyance factor. Just commented on the last post with regards to this. ... [go]
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