Question of the Day... and speak up, child, for I can't hear you!

Posted in Alphabet Soup on December 5, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (11)

After experiencing a strange type of popping sound in my right ear for the past few weeks (and not just whenever I shake my head anymore) and dealing with it in the same way I deal with all my problems (in other words: ignoring it), I woke up with a tremendous ear ache yesterday.

So yes, it's probably an ear infection. At least that's the diagnosis issued by my personal physician, the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia. And who am I to argue with such authority?

However, one very important question not answered by that otherwise all-knowing publication, is this:

If I end up going deaf in this one ear (which, according to the encyclopedia, is just a matter of time now), will I still need surround sound stereo systems? Or will the mono setting on the radio and one speaker be sufficient for a person who can only hear out of one ear?

And by the way (and yes, I realize that this is more than one question, don't nitpick!): what do you call a person who can only hear out of one ear? A half-deaf?

Or is calling someone 'deaf' unheard of nowadays?

11 Comments

Natalie said:

You did NOT write "Or is calling someone 'deaf' unheard of nowadays?" DUDE, that pun made me laugh my ass off.

December 5, 2004 7:56 PM

Jake said:

You better sign up for lip-reading classes ASAP.

December 5, 2004 9:55 PM

Annika said:

How can we POSSIBLY answer your questions when you don't tell us which is the afflicted ear?!

December 5, 2004 11:13 PM

Motor City Bad Kitty said:

Hm ... you know, I never really thought about that, Red!

I'm half-deaf in my left ear ... so would that make me a quarter deaf?

December 6, 2004 12:12 AM

pylorns said:

there is this thing called a doctors office. I highly suggest going.

December 6, 2004 9:48 AM

MJ said:

I would still go for the surround-sound stereo system. You may not be able to get the full effect, hearing-wise, but you will still look cool.
A person who can only hear out of one ear? Easy. That would be a HUSBAND.

December 6, 2004 12:18 PM

kimberly said:

What do you know. We employ the same problem management system! ;)

December 6, 2004 1:18 PM

TimT said:

M.J., if a husband only hears in one ear, then maybe you should get two husbands??!

Could it be that this is the solution to all the marital problems in the western world?

December 6, 2004 6:21 PM

Ms. Pants said:

You. Did. Not.

Holy shit.

I adore you.

(Natalie, see? SEE??? It's not only me!)

December 6, 2004 6:47 PM

TimT said:

"DUDE, that pun made me laugh my ass off."

... Must - restrain - urge - to - make - a - half-assed - joke...

December 7, 2004 3:04 AM

kim said:

you people are so funny. i'm so busy i didn't make it here for a few days but i'm glad to be "back" and get my daily dose of stupid-giggling-at-monitor ;o) oh and red, i think pylorns does actually have a point.. hope you're better..

December 8, 2004 5:47 AM

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online

kim : you people are so funny. i'm so busy i didn't make it here for a few days but i'm glad to be "back" ... [go]
TimT : "DUDE, that pun made me laugh my ass off." ... Must - restrain - urge - to - make - a - half-assed ... [go]
Ms. Pants : You. Did. Not. Holy shit. I adore you. (Natalie, see? SEE??? It's not only me!)... [go]
TimT : M.J., if a husband only hears in one ear, then maybe you should get two husbands??! Could it be tha... [go]
kimberly : What do you know. We employ the same problem management system! ;)... [go]
MJ : I would still go for the surround-sound stereo system. You may not be able to get the full effect, ... [go]
pylorns : there is this thing called a doctors office. I highly suggest going.... [go]
Motor City Bad Kitty : Hm ... you know, I never really thought about that, Red! I'm half-deaf in my left ear ... so would ... [go]
Annika : How can we POSSIBLY answer your questions when you don't tell us which is the afflicted ear?!... [go]
Jake : You better sign up for lip-reading classes ASAP.... [go]