This better not be deducted from my total

| | Comments (5)

"Fame! I'm gonna live foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeever, I'm gonna learn how to fly. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME..!"

No, you have NOT stumbled back into time and right onto an 80's Music Hit Parade (Would it even be humanly possible to step 'onto' an 80's Hit Parade? Because duh, of course one can step back in time. I do it whenever I run into trouble - which is often - by simply jumping into my bed and assuming fetal position).

The reason for my little manic outburst into song is this: Just after midnight this morning, I was interviewed by a reporter from the SABC (South African Broadcasting Corporation... I'm writing it out in a desperate attempt to lend even more Importance to this story) for an Afrikaans radio station.

Stop laughing! I'm serious!

My prospective notoriety has nothing to do with this blog. Alas, no... although I've heard about people becoming famous for their ability to sing really badly (think William Hung from American Idol), I'm not aware of fame doled out to those of us (me) who manage to slaughter language and the art of writing. If they do, I'm sure I'll be eligible for that and DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH AT WRITING BADLY TO BE AWARDED A PRIZE FOR IT!!!!

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Why on earth the station decided to interview me.

I don't really know either, since it was about my plans for New Year's Eve, and well, I'm such a social butterfly (which is why I'm at this computer at 10:33 in the evening) I don't even HAVE plans for Friday evening.

So I did what I do really well (although not quite as well as writing badly), and I lied. To a reporter. While I was being recorded. During my radio interview. Which is going to be heard by all of South Africa on Friday morning. (Well, at least all South Africans who happen to be tuned in at that exact moment to that exact Afrikaans radio station.)

And I was nervous (since I was lying and all) so I talked reallyreallyfastlikethis and then I became quite breathless butIkeptongoinganyway*gasp*likethis, so I don't remember exactly what I said, except that I talked a lot about sub zero temperatures and spectacular fireworks and lots of fun and dancing and being popular with lots of friends (I TOLD you I was lying) who never leave me high and dry on New Year's Eve when they all go off to exotic and warm places to do exotic and warm things.

And then she asked me about my New Year's resolutions and I told her something lame like: "My New Year's resolution is not to make any New Year's resolutions since I always break them before I even start."

AndthenIcontinuedwiththebreathlessmumblingsaboutexerciseorsomething.

I TOLD you it was lame.

Oh, well. To quote that crazy chick Lady Macbeth: "What 'tis done cannot be undone." Or something like that.

Anyway, I've always been told that I have a face for radio.

So the one question now weighing heavily on my mind is one I'd like to address to Andy Warhol:

Yo, dude! Is this being deducted from my fifteen minute total?

5 Comments

Natalie said:

Dude, that's so exciting! Can I get your autograph?!

Airmatix said:

Well done - you had me laughing out loud first thing this morning. And that after my daschund crapped all over the floor since it has a runny tummy. So imagine how funny I found your blog!

Just one little point: You can go back IN time, but not back INTO time - the latter would imply that you are somewhere outside of time, and thought that may sound cool, it just ain't possible. So maybe go back IN time to your school days, and get your grammar together. Tee-hee-hee. Love you lots anyway though.

Airmatix said:

ARGH! How do I edit a comment? I made a typo. AND TYPOS ME HATES FOREVER!

kimberly said:

Ooh I've never even known anyone who was even in the realm of making the 15 minute clock start ticking. Now, I'm all star struck!

kat said:

bwahaha! that's great.

i think i used up most of my 15 minutes when i was filmed by a local tv station in houston while my mom was waiting in line to vote. i was in my baby carraige making what my mom called my "richard nixon face" or a dirty scowl. too bad i can't remember it all! *sigh*

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • kat : bwahaha! that's great. i think i used up most of my 15 minutes when i was filmed by a local tv sta... [go]
  • kimberly : Ooh I've never even known anyone who was even in the realm of making the 15 minute clock start ticki... [go]
  • Airmatix : ARGH! How do I edit a comment? I made a typo. AND TYPOS ME HATES FOREVER!... [go]
  • Airmatix : Well done - you had me laughing out loud first thing this morning. And that after my daschund crappe... [go]
  • Natalie : Dude, that's so exciting! Can I get your autograph?!... [go]
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