Become a PRO-Crastinator! Join later!

| | Comments (12)

A few years ago a friend gave me a t-shirt containing a slogan that accurately sums up the state of my life: "God placed us on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind, I will never die."

I don't have the t-shirt anymore, but I still haven't caught up on the "things" (whatever it may be) that I need to accomplish.

Legend has it that I was born two weeks early, thus robbing my parents of precious personal time (despite the presence of my three older sisters, but according to them, they were fiercely independent from the second they gasped their first breaths).

In retrospect, I'm sure that is where things started going awry. I'm adamant that those fourteen days extra of resting cozily in the womb would have been crucial to my development. The result of my premature arrival was the delivery of a very lethargic child who, right off the bat, decided to compensate for lost snooze time by postponing all activities that would be remotely strenuous - which pretty much includes everything that involves being awake.

It turned me into a masterful procrastinator. In fact, I even have the ability to procrastinate procrastination itself!

If I get around to it, I will tell you how I manage to do that. See you next week!

Just kidding…

Seriously though, how do I get anything done, ever?

Last minute. In the nick of time. And the completion of a task is always nothing short of miraculous.

Procrastinators thrive on deadline. Which is our main excuse for putting things off. We love the adrenaline rush that comes with the territory. And just because it's a tad safer than bungee jumping or skydiving doesn't mean that we are lesser adrenaline junkies than those who literally put their lives on a line!

During my days as a reporter (yes, alas: long ago, during the more productive time of my mostly misspent youth, I was actually a Professional. I'm not quite sure what kind of Professional I was, exactly, but I was a Professional!), I used to love that panic-stricken look - which almost borders on raw madness - in the eyes of a desperate editor, mere minutes before a due deadline. And then there was the admiration of colleagues and the astonishment and relief of the same editor moments later when the completed copy was delivered.

According to an unidentified source, procrastination has quite a lengthy history of which a large part remains unrecorded. Well, that's a shocker! Of COURSE it remained unrecorded! The fact that someone back in the 17th Century never got around to sitting down to wax lyrical about procrastination is enough proof that it existed.

Anyway, it's been around long enough for Samuel Johnson to write an entire essay about it. Ironically enough, the inspiration came to him along with a messenger boy who had arrived to pick up a piece of writing due for publication. Rumour has it that our good Mr. Johnson, who had nothing to give the boy, shut himself in his study where he momentarily came up with his famous procrastination essay. Whenever I read it, I love to imagine ink flying from the inkwell as he frantically dipped his quill into it. I'd hate to think that he eased through it without even breaking a sweat.

I have also read somewhere that perfectionists tend to procrastinate because they can't bear doing something half-heartedly, therefore they'd rather not do it at all. That is by far my favourite (and perfectly valid) excuse.

But trust Americans to not merely let us procrastinators be. Here they have support groups (complete with a twelve-step program and bad coffee) to help you break the off-putting habit of putting things off. I think it's rather ambitious of them, because I can't imagine anyone showing up on time for the meetings!

In my ideal world, I would have a PRO-Castinator (as opposed to ANTI-) support group where the motto will be: "Why do those things today that you can put off until tomorrow?"

Besides, as a born and bred South African, I also have the unique (but valid!) excuse of still operating on "African Time", that mysterious but fabulous time zone where tomorrow is always another day. As PRO-Castinators, our only aspiration has to be to live up to the following wisdom from Don Marquis: "Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."

So if anyone's looking for me, I'll be on the couch, pondering yesterday, when I was also on the couch.

12 Comments

Airmatix said:

Now THAT is cool. I've never actually come out of the closet on my procrastination, but I freely admit to loving a deadline more than anything. Especially those last couple of seconds before time runs out. And I'm still a professional journalist! Imagine that! Right now there's a copy editor in Cape Town waiting for a feature that was due a month ago. Now that is one deadline well and truly missed. Go big or go home, I always say. Roll on deadlines. Bring on those last seconds. I'll show you!

martha said:

In a college english class I had to write a how-to essay and chose to write it about how to procrastinate. Other people chose to write about peanut butter sandwiches and such. I still think mine was the most useful. And written at the last moment too...

Procrastinators of the world, unite!

kellen said:

you know, i was born a month late, and i still think i needed time to develop. :)

Annika said:

Oh, darling, I could have written every word of this! Not that I would have gotten around to doing it. Oh, and I am not South African. And I'm the oldest sister. But other than that!

kat said:

ya know, Sark is very pro-crastinator. she's always a good read when you're tied to the couch.

miked said:

Your entry was very inspiring. And maybe one day, sometime down the road I to can admit to be a procrastinator. Until then, I shall remain in the closet, next to my rusty pair of ice skates and the furry sweater I got for xmas 2 years ago.

Gretchen said:

Being a procrastinator myself, I have come to discover that it is truly an artform that those lesser stress capable orgnaized people cannot handle.

Take, for instance, a term paper. The paper, by definition requires an entire term to write it. I wrote mine in 12 hours. I got a B+ on it. The stress of writing said paper nearly knocked me out, but in the end, I still brag about the 12 hour term paper that got me an A in my class.

And I would do it again. How else can one expect me to pass?

pylorns said:

yeah my mind is wondering, as I skimmed through this very quickly the first time I swore i read masturbation instead od procrastination.

Jessica said:

I procrastinate in my dreams even...

Hed said:

Wow! Talk about hitting the nail on the head! That's exactly what I do... as I sit here reading blogs, waiting fo the perfect moment to do my workout tape. Just don't want to do it half-heartedly, so what am I doing? Trying to psych myself up? I don't know.

But at least you gave me something to read in the meantime. Thanks for that, and keep it up. Fantastic blog!

-H

pylorns said:

12 step program for everything, even the i woke up snorting coke off a strippers ass...12stepprogram

Procrastination is the reason I'm still trying to finish my degree, three years AFTER I was supposed to. I put off everything - going to class, starting my assignments, studying for exams - so it's no wonder I never pass. I vow to try to become the kind of person who does things now rather than later but I keep putting it off. Heehee.

Leave a comment




















about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online


comments
  • promotional clothing : Procrastination is the reason I'm still trying to finish my degree, three years AFTER I was supposed... [go]
  • pylorns : 12 step program for everything, even the i woke up snorting coke off a strippers ass...12stepprogram... [go]
  • Hed : Wow! Talk about hitting the nail on the head! That's exactly what I do... as I sit here reading bl... [go]
  • Jessica : I procrastinate in my dreams even...... [go]
  • pylorns : yeah my mind is wondering, as I skimmed through this very quickly the first time I swore i read mast... [go]
  • Gretchen : Being a procrastinator myself, I have come to discover that it is truly an artform that those lesser... [go]
  • miked : Your entry was very inspiring. And maybe one day, sometime down the road I to can admit to be a proc... [go]
  • kat : ya know, Sark is very pro-crastinator. she's always a good read when you're tied to the couch.... [go]
  • Annika : Oh, darling, I could have written every word of this! Not that I would have gotten around to doing i... [go]
  • kellen : you know, i was born a month late, and i still think i needed time to develop. :)... [go]
top commenters
archives
archive by category

links
credits
winner of
I won this blog!

winner of best writing
sablog2005-winnerbut.gif

retro dots skin designed with care by


liberty belle skin designed with care by


hosted with love by
Blogomania

script assistance by
scriptygoddess
MT Blacklist


one reader and counting... by




Locations of visitors to this page
with these rings, I thee join


« Blog Baltimore »




Next
Random
List
Join



South Africa's Top Sites
South African Blog Top Sites

I shmaak SA Blogs, sorted with Amatomu.com

Afrigator

Geolocalisation des internautes

Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.