Brace Yerselves: She's Red Again

| | Comments (9)

Hope you enjoyed the break from me, because I'm back to once again torture you with my verbosity, to assault your senses with my bad tenses and yes, let's not forget my gross overindulgence in parentheses and exclamation points. (Why wait? Let's start immediately!!!! My frozen fingers need the exercise!)

Seriously though... sorry if I worried you! I'm really okay now. I just needed a bit of time away. Thank you for your patience during this time and for all the concerned and witty comments and the private e-mails to check if I'm still alive. Yes, alas, there is life in me yet. But is it intelligent life? (Don't answer that unless it's a resounding YES!)

I might eventually go into more details about why I had the blues, but for now I'll just say that it has a LOT to do with my life (or lack of) as an outlawed alien and for the fact that my AV (Alien Vessel. Yes, it's sounds almost like RV because it bears an uncanny resemblance to a flying Winnebago) has been in the same holding pattern for a very long time now.

On the upside: Apparently I couldn't have picked a better time for my bout of depression. I'm sure a lot of you heard about the British shrink who declared that last Monday (the 24th) was the worst Monday of the year.

In case you didn't know that last Monday was supposed to be the worst Monday of the year and you wish to believe that TODAY is the worst Monday of the year, I can only say that you need to take it up with Dr. Cliff Arnalls himself. Besides, he cited concrete evidence like self-loathing due to derailed New Year's resolutions, fading Christmas memories, debt, foul weather and the lack of coffee and a canine companion. (Okay, not really the last two. I just wanted to see whether the boy is paying attention to my not so subtle hints.) He even wrote a formula for his calculated Day of Misery: 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA.

Just change the 3/8 into 2/4 and the D-d into an R-r and accept it as my doctor's note for why I was absent for so long.

(Oh, and don't forget to put the whole thing in parenthesis.)

9 Comments

Aaron said:

Welcome back, babe

syd said:

Yip! (Horray)

deeleea said:

Oh thank God...

You just set the world back onto the right axis...

Natalie said:

Thank goodness you're back and (at least forcing yourself to be) witty! Hey, is it okay I change your 2/4 to 1/2, since, y'know, the whole mathematical simplification thing and all.... ?

Good to see you, hon!

kim said:

JAY, you're back. i'm glad. but i understand one needs time away from the www and get "real" every once in a while. hope you got the chance to work some things out -- even if only for yourself.... we missed you ;o)

martha said:

Yay! welcome back. you've been missed (as if you couldn't tell from our continued commenting on the same entry.)

20 comments on 4 lines - see what power you have over us, oh AV?

Helen said:

Dude, I blogged about the bad day, too-it was my bad day as well.

But I missed you, anyway.

Annika said:

Oh, thank goodness! I was getting quite worried.

On the other hand, it was nice not having you around to show me up as the miserable writer that I am. Damn you!

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about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • Annika : Oh, thank goodness! I was getting quite worried. On the other hand, it was nice not having you arou... [go]
  • Helen : Dude, I blogged about the bad day, too-it was my bad day as well. But I missed you, anyway.... [go]
  • martha : Yay! welcome back. you've been missed (as if you couldn't tell from our continued commenting on the ... [go]
  • kim : JAY, you're back. i'm glad. but i understand one needs time away from the www and get "real" every o... [go]
  • Natalie : Thank goodness you're back and (at least forcing yourself to be) witty! Hey, is it okay I change yo... [go]
  • deeleea : Oh thank God... You just set the world back onto the right axis...... [go]
  • TimT : Hoorah!... [go]
  • syd : Yip! (Horray)... [go]
  • Aaron : Welcome back, babe... [go]
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