Gig

| | Comments (15)

Believe it or not, but eons ago I was actually EMPLOYED.

I received a real paycheck, really (REALLY) paid taxes, had real health insurance. But most importantly, I really worked my arse off. (Although I'm sad to report that it has since grown back.)

And I really don't know how I got that job in the first place.

Sure, I went for a job interview. I remember that part of it very well.

It was early autumn - which in Johannesburg basically means that it's 75 degrees Fahrenheit instead of 80.

I had finished full-time classes at Journalism School about five months before with no prospects of an internship. Fortunately I felt I needed... no, DESERVED... a vacation of undetermined length.

Unfortunately my parents, under whose roof I was living it up and acquiring a taste for daytime television whilst reclining on the couch - an art I've since perfected! - passionately disagreed with me. Besides, I would have to endure a journalism internship of at least nine months in order to graduate from college. So after a few months of leisure, I allowed myself to be sufficiently threatened by my parents and I had to seriously start looking for work.

Coincidentally it was right around that time that a good friend of mine called me up. He was a fellow journalism student. And he was WORKING.

"Hey Red! Are you working yet?" And then, before I could answer, he said: "Well, I guess not, since you're home right now." (He's quick on the uptake like that.)

I asked him about his job.

"Oh, it's a drag! I get paid to see at least three movies a week and I have to dine out a lot and then write about all of it."

"Sounds dreadful," I said.

"Well, I'm glad to hear you say that, because that's actually why I'm calling. A position has just opened up at our sister paper, and they're rather desperate to fill it..."

"Yes, I'm interested." (Sometimes I can be surprisingly quick as well. I was already having visions of leisurely "working" lunches followed by matinee performances. In my fantasy, I was demanding overtime for seeing a three hour-long movie.)

"Great!" he said. "Since it's our sister publication, we'll be working in the same building, so I'll be seeing you a lot!"

I remarked that he sounded awfully sure of himself that I would indeed be working there soon.

"Well... and you can thank me for this later... I happen to know the editor really well and I've already put in a good word for you, so unless you REALLY screw it up - and I doubt that even YOU have it in you to screw something like that up* - I really think you'll get the job."

(*Luckily I didn't consider that comment to be a dare or even an insult. I was too busy writing my first professional restaurant review in my head.)

"Okay, thanks. So what else do I need to know before I come in for the interview?" I asked absently while dreaming up puns for my review. It was love at first bite. The crowd was positively cookin', even though the chef clearly wasn't.

And here he paused for the first time.

"Er, well... here's the thing. The position? It's for..."

"What? Reviewer, right?"

"Yes. Well, no. Kind of, but not in the way I'm doing it."

"No problem! I already have loads of ideas of my own - even though I'm sure your ideas are excellent, as usual, but..."

"Red! No. You will be writing revie... reports about..."

"Yes?" I suddenly had a really bad feeling.

He mumbled something. It was barely audible.

My heart sank. "Oh, no... please... PLEASE don't tell me you've just said what I thought I heard you say?" I pleaded.

But my ears had not deceived me after all, because he said:

To be continued.

(Sorry, my two loyal readers! I really don't want to do this to you, but the television tower lights aren't as visible now that the sun's come up, and I can finally get some sleep!)

15 Comments

deeleea said:

Oh Red that was hard core...

martha said:

red!!! how can you do this to me???

Reader du Jour said:

Aaaarrrggggh!

calla said:

that's so MEAN! and there's four of us now, so you better get back to the story soon!!!!! :P

pylorns said:

wtf a cliff hanger from you? see if i come back and comment again!

amy t. said:

That's mean, you evil bitch!

That was said with the utmost love and lots of laughter, just so you know...

Jessica said:

Ahhh Come Now!!!! Must finish soon...

Lessa said:

*GASP!* how could you DO such a thing to us! Thats... thats... cruel and unusual! *sheds a tear* I'm so PROUD! *grin*

mice said:

you've been very, very naughty.

Bookstore Diva said:

Red Dahling,
That's so not fair. To hell with sleep. You can do that when your dead.

Jessica said:

A reviewer of... baby food, adult movies, sex toys... WHAT?

kat said:

a reviewer of public toilets perhaps? that'd be a crappy job. don't kill me. ;-)

Annika said:

Lady, you are in big trouble.

Michelle said:

Oh darn you - I stop by for the first time and you do THIS to me! :) Now I'll just have to come back later again.

martha said:

sports... a sports reviewer. Ahha! I have solved the mystery.
"Oh, and I was actually appointed to the sports desk of a community newspaper in Johannesburg during my days as a cub reporter"

but I'm sure that there's much more to the story a la Red.

yes, I'm procrastinating so much that I looked back to september 4th 2004 and found that entry. I need to get out of the house.

Leave a comment




















about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online


comments
  • martha : sports... a sports reviewer. Ahha! I have solved the mystery. "Oh, and I was actually appointed to ... [go]
  • Michelle : Oh darn you - I stop by for the first time and you do THIS to me! :) Now I'll just have to come bac... [go]
  • Annika : Lady, you are in big trouble.... [go]
  • kat : a reviewer of public toilets perhaps? that'd be a crappy job. don't kill me. ;-)... [go]
  • Jessica : A reviewer of... baby food, adult movies, sex toys... WHAT?... [go]
  • Bookstore Diva : Red Dahling, That's so not fair. To hell with sleep. You can do that when your dead.... [go]
  • mice : you've been very, very naughty.... [go]
  • Lessa : *GASP!* how could you DO such a thing to us! Thats... thats... cruel and unusual! *sheds a tear* I'm... [go]
  • Jessica : Ahhh Come Now!!!! Must finish soon...... [go]
  • amy t. : That's mean, you evil bitch! That was said with the utmost love and lots of laughter, just so you... [go]
top commenters
archives
archive by category

links
credits
winner of
I won this blog!

winner of best writing
sablog2005-winnerbut.gif

retro dots skin designed with care by


liberty belle skin designed with care by


hosted with love by
Blogomania

script assistance by
scriptygoddess
MT Blacklist


one reader and counting... by




Locations of visitors to this page
with these rings, I thee join


Blog Baltimore




Next
Random
List
Join



South Africa's Top Sites
South African Blog Top Sites

I shmaak SA Blogs, sorted with Amatomu.com

Afrigator

Geolocalisation des internautes

Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.