Holy Batman, Moses!

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I nearly sent the UPS guy back, telling him that surely, he must have the wrong address.

But there it was. A box with MY name and the logo of this amazing place on it. Oh, this logo which always causes me to salivate (attractive, 'eh?) with longing and lust whenever my eyes glide over it.

Still, I couldn't quite grasp that it was for me. (Yes, I'm quick on the uptake like that.) But it was my name indeed, right there, on the label, yet the eternal optimist in me still believed that it must've been an error.

The UPS guy must still think that I'm a bit daft or something, because I never even saw him leave. I just stood there in the doorway, clutching the precious cargo, mouth agape and yes... salivating.

I'm sure Pavlov's dogs displayed more grace whenever they heard that bell ring.

About four hours later, a state of complete dehydration caused me to finally snap out of my drooling trance.

And then I couldn't open that box quickly enough.

I ripped it open as fast as I could, only to find yet another box...

JUST kidding! (Ha! And a few entries ago I had you believing that I couldn't possibly drag any story out more than I did this one!)

Inside I found "The Hip Girl's Handbook for Home, Car & Money Stuff" by Jennifer Musselman & Patty DeGregori, a delightful how-to book (and you know what a sucker I am for a how-to book) I've been coveting for a long time!

But it's not just any old, run-of-the-mill how-to book! For one, I've always wanted to be hip, but I was starting to think that I'd have to wait a few years - like until I have a hip replacement - for any hipness to occur in my life.

Also, this how-to book actually teaches you many, many useful things (as opposed to the less practical subjects, such as a primer on writing a modern novel... in Hieroglyphics): from grilling like a girl (but a HIP girl, of course), to changing a tyre and unclogging a loo. All of those things that I've always been a real helpless female about while secretly wishing I knew how to do it.

Besides, you KNOW the book is going to be irresistible and highly entertaining when it's dedicated to "the two consistent men in our lives: Ben and Jerry's."

After skimming through it a bit (and finally having the whole matter of 401(K) plans demystified), it finally occurred to me to look at the receipt.

I saw a pretty and non-internet name (meaning a real person name as opposed to a blog name) which left me a bit bewildered and also, ironically, none the wiser as to the identity of my benefactress.

Until my eye caught this message: "Happy February!" Sent with love from HER!

And then I knew who she was!

Thank you, sweetest Mac, for this out-of-the-pale-blue-winter-sky, "just because" gift! I'm utterly undeserving and spoiled, but also VERY giddy, totally floored... and completely dehydrated!

And yes, you are correct, an unexpected Pesky'Apostrophe is indeed always better than an unexpected period and WAY more pleasant too!

P.S. Suddenly I LOVE February. I suppose it's safe to say that you've made my month! Even though it's YOUR birthday month. Is this some sort of an American tradition that I'm not aware of yet? This giving gifts to other people when it's your own birthday?

4 Comments

pylorns said:

well thats cool

martha said:

i think is should be a tradition if it's not... or just giving people presents because you thought of them...

mac said:

Heh! I just like surprising people.

Plus, I make a resolution every year to send someone something off their wishlist once a month. People are very generous to me, so I like to be generous back in a very random way. *grin*

Enjoy the book.

deeleea said:

Damn

Gotta get me a wishlist...

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • deeleea : Damn Gotta get me a wishlist...... [go]
  • mac : Heh! I just like surprising people. Plus, I make a resolution every year to send someone something ... [go]
  • martha : i think is should be a tradition if it's not... or just giving people presents because you thought o... [go]
  • pylorns : well thats cool... [go]
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