| | Comments (27)

My reason for making early-morning, high-pitched dolphin sounds is this!

I'm stunned, but unfortunately for everyone, not stunned enough to be quiet, ha ha ha!

I can't believe - well, so many things, really, but most of all - the category I won!! (But this is the last I'm saying about that, before they realise they've made a huge mistake, take it back, and give it to the correct person. So shhh. I'll ask the dog next door to bury it in the backyard.)

Also can't believe that people actually VOTED. For ME!?! So thank you all very, very much! Your cheques are in the mail. But even though it's only 5c (South African cents - and yes, it IS necessary to specify this), you'd better not try to cash it, unless you want to see some remarkable bouncing. (My cheques bounce higher than yooooouuuurrrrs, nah, nah, neh, NAAH naah!)

You realise of course that now, after all this voting going on on my behalf (Yeah, I KNOW that you never intended to vote for me; that your hand merely slipped on the keyboard and your mouse got stuck right when the little arrow was pointed to my name and that you merely clicked it out of anger to try and get it unstuck... Be more careful next time!), I'm seriously considering a career in politics. I'm aiming for complete and total control and domination of... Liechtenstein.

It's not that I'm lazy per se... Let's just say my ambitions might not be quite as advanced as that of people contemplating domination of the world's biggest countries. Or even - what a concept - global domination. (Just typing that made me tired.)

Yeah, okay... I'm totally lazy. In fact, I initially contemplated taking political control over Vatican City, since it's the smallest country and all (don't say you never learn anything on this site. WHADOYOUMEAN you already knew that?), but I've since gone off the idea. I mean, Dan Brown only wrote a measly little best-selling book, and look how much grief the Catholic highest-ups are giving HIM! I simply don't have the strength to wade through all that red tape while running the constant risk of being clobbered over the head with a Bishop's hat (and yeah, wise guys, I know that it's actually called a 'miter').

So maybe a career in politics isn't for me after all, but before you let out a sigh of relief... you're not rid of me yet, because I think I'll stick to this writing business.

Please don't groan so loudly... you're scaring all the small children and animals out there!

As for all the other winners and nominees - including him for visual stimulation and her for her blogilicious contributions to the world (Warning: Do not read on an empty stomach!) - congratulations!

Seriously, do yourselves a favour and click on the links to all the nominees and winners, and then you'll see that not all South Africans are savage barbarians like me.

That being said, to see photos of last night's utterly sophisticated ceremony held in Johannesburg (the Cape Town pics aren't up yet. Hung-over, Cherry? UPDATE: He promises they'll be up over the weekend), go here. As you'll be able to see, the moon(ing) was full and bright in Johannesburg last night.

Thanks to the Jo'bloggers for organising it. (No, not the moon(ing)... or did they? Well, they DID organise the event and rumour has it that they even picked up the bar tab, brave souls!)

Thanks again also to Cherryflava who decided that, in order to win anything, ever, South African bloggers needed their own awards.

But lastly, I would like to thank my own blogging benefactress Emily. If she didn't host the win-a-blog contest last year, I wouldn't even have this site right now. So thank you!!

And to all of you (yeah, I know I said 'lastly' up there... don't get so technical with me!), my readers (here she makes a sweeping arm gesture to include all three)... thank you for coming back here every day... or every week... or every month... whatever. You must REALLY be bored at work! Or is it a matter of not being able to take your eyes off a horrible car accident?

Never mind. I don't think I want to know.

Whatever your reasons are for coming back here, I'm sooo grateful that you do.

I know many bloggers out there claim not to do this for anyone but themselves, but that is certainly not me. Sure, I wish I could act all cool and nonchalant about it, but the truth is, I can't WAIT to check my e-mail to see if you've decided to comment on my drivel, because I often wonder if what I've written is making you laugh (at best) or cringe. (And if it's the latter, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!)

Your comments are often the highlight of my day (which probably doesn't say much about my life! What do you mean go outside and play? You mean a world exists outside of this glowing monitor?!? Impossible... you MUST be making it up! Go declare your science fiction elsewhere!).

I know I'm terrible at replying to comments from you, but I promise you that I read them all (it's hard not to when you average 2 comments a day, ha ha). So thank you, and thanks for wading through my verbosity and bad puns and my gross misuse of parentheses and somehow making sense out of it all.

Okay, this is the end of today's sappiness. But - and come on, you KNOW I can't resist - it is merely the beginning of my happiness!


Jeanne said:

CONGRATS, daaaaaahling!!!! And I have to say I couldn't have lost to a more worthy competitor... Your win was so well-deserved and I'm absolutely thrilled on your behalf. Long posts by South African women living abroad rock!! ;-)

onanymous said:

And congrats to you too!

Cherryflava said:

Congrats Red....very well deserved award.

I have your Vuvuzela trophy in my lounge....we'll chat as to whether you're going to be fetching it or I'm packing it into my luggage when I next visit you part of the planet.

You can thank Splattermail for the mooning. And it was only a pleasure. As always.

Congrats on the win.

kim said:

congratulations, red. and yes, sometimes i am bored at work ;o) but that's not the (main) reason i come here.. glad all the voting paid off.. you deserve it!

Calla said:

Oh, you SO deserve it Red. And I'm considering making (oh, I'm going to misspell this!) babotie tomorrow night for some friends.

And my kitty says thank you for the well wishes, she is going to try and stop throwing up since people out there on the internet now care.

martha said:

YAY! congrats red.

Jessica said:

Congrats Red!!!

ViVi said:

Hurrah! Congrats! :)

blaze said:

Congrats. A well deserved recognition.

blaze said:

What? i Don't have a voice!

I have been lurking around here for quite some time.

Rich...! said:

Much respect sister...!

fatima said:

From a plaasjaapie...

you go girl! you show dem!
I would like to say I was the deciding factor on your win, but alas, I was not. Many other people love your work too.


Bear said:

Congrats Red! That's lekker man!
Look forward to more funnies. :)

anan said:

Yer a celebrity? i'm being stalked by a celebrity? Garsh!

*becomes totally flustered, leaves a note under a rock and scuttles away, red-faced*

ps. The note says: Congratulations, Red!

Annika said:

Oh, poop. I guess all of my votes against you didn't work.

deeleea said:


Great and well deserved success!

Very proud indeed I am!

(that's Yoda speak for you totally rock Red!)

Teresa said:

Wow - congrats on your win! Way to go. I don't win stuff - so I'm always happy to see that others win who deserve it. Now don't get too wild and crazy when you celebrate. *grin*

Bookstore Diva said:

(Music & Lyrics by Vesta Williams).

RED Dahling. Big Congrats on your win. Didn't I tell you that we here in the peanut gallery are here to boost your ego, get you that book deal & then ride on the coat tails of your success. We are here for you Babe. And it must be working. Because your a big wiener. Kissy-Kissy Luv

Aquila said:

Nice one red... Well done!

Sweety said:

Gefeliciteerd!!! :) Awesome! :)

Christine said:

Woohoo! Congratulations! You definitely deserve the honor, because you're one helluva writer!

Oh, and the Pope's got nothing on you ;)

TimT said:

All together now...

For he/she is a very good fellow/girly/non-gender-specific person
For he/she is a very good fellow/girly/non-gender-specific person,
For he/she is a very good fellow/girly/non-gender-specific person,
And so say/type all of us!
And so say/type all of us!!

(Please circle appropriate option.) Many congratulations Red! You so deserve the award!

Sammy said:

Congrats Red!!

mikey said:

Congratulations! I always knew ye had potential... (;

kat said:

i knew you'd win! and what a lovely acceptance speech. i'm grateful that you won that win a blog contest and started writing. you're one very talented lady. xoxoxo

Michelle said:

Veels geluk! Pity there wasn't a satellite hook-up for you to attend virtually. Just been checking out the Cape Town pics and there seems to have been a SERIOUS lack of female bloggers - I really should have gone after all - it's just "down the road"....!

Leave a comment

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Michelle : Veels geluk! Pity there wasn't a satellite hook-up for you to attend virtually. Just been checking... [go]
  • kat : i knew you'd win! and what a lovely acceptance speech. i'm grateful that you won that win a blog con... [go]
  • mikey : Congratulations! I always knew ye had potential... (;... [go]
  • Sammy : Yippie-aye-yea!!! Congrats Red!!... [go]
  • TimT : All together now... For he/she is a very good fellow/girly/non-gender-specific person For he/she i... [go]
  • Christine : Woohoo! Congratulations! You definitely deserve the honor, because you're one helluva writer! Oh, a... [go]
  • Sweety : Gefeliciteerd!!! :) Awesome! :)... [go]
  • Aquila : Nice one red... Well done!... [go]
  • Bookstore Diva : CONGRATULATIONS, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME.!!! (Music & Lyrics by Vesta Williams). RED Dahling. Big Co... [go]
  • Teresa : Wow - congrats on your win! Way to go. I don't win stuff - so I'm always happy to see that others... [go]
top commenters
archive by category

winner of
I won this blog!

winner of best writing

retro dots skin designed with care by

liberty belle skin designed with care by

hosted with love by

script assistance by
MT Blacklist

one reader and counting... by

Locations of visitors to this page
with these rings, I thee join

Blog Baltimore


South Africa's Top Sites
South African Blog Top Sites

I shmaak SA Blogs, sorted with


Geolocalisation des internautes

Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.