Hope - and I have the Catholics to thank for it!

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When the holy smokestack finally coughed up a new Pope on Tuesday ("Holy Smoke! There's new Pope!" is what I chanted out loud, repeatedly, for the rest of that day... much to the boy's annoyance), it gave me hope.

No, I'm not Catholic, so it didn't give me that "we have a new leader" sort of hope. My motives, as per usual, were and are far more selfish and secular. But no, not because I wagered a bet on who the new Pope was going to be, and proceeded to win that bet. Even if I had placed a bet, my money would not have been on Ratzinger anyway. I would've backed the guy from Nigeria. You know, African loyalty and all that.

That said, my newfound hope DOES stem from Ratzinger's election. You see, as soon as I heard that he managed to get himself a new and very important gig two weeks after his 77th birthday, my own hopes dared to soar a bit. So much so, that I promptly went outside to pull my ambition and my dreams from the gutter, where it's been buried under piles of leaves and mud since my thirtieth birthday last year.

As all (three) of you know, I've been searching for gainful (is there any other kind? If so, please let me know immediately!) employment since... well, since before I began writing on this blog last year. My quest for employment (or destiny, as I prefer to call it, because "work" sounds very unappealing and tedious) has not been successful.

Perhaps I've been too forthcoming about my lack of marketable skills (or my lack of a Pink Card, but that's another story), or my laziness, or my procrastination, or the fact that my ability to communicate in English (or my version thereof) vanishes between 8 in the morning and noon. (Yes, Natalie, I really am NOT a morning person!)

(Or is it my fondness of parentheses?)

Or perhaps nobody in the greater Washington, D.C. - Baltimore metropolitan area really is hiring right now, and isn't planning to hire anyone in the next few years either.

Whatever the reasons, I still don't have a job, and so I've been losing hope, thinking that maybe thirty really IS too old to still want to be an ingenue and a wunderkind.

But not anymore! If the Catholics can be as indiscriminate (except when it comes to gays, abortion, ordaining women, birth control, etc... but hey, at least there's no age discrimination!) as to hire someone who is 77 to be their equivalent of a corporate CEO, complete with perks like the Papal apartment (it has a BALCONY, with a stunning view), a fully stocked wardrobe (with all those hats!) the Swiss bodyguards, the various Pope mobiles and drivers, and world travel without a passport, then really, someone will surely find it in his/her generous wallet... I mean, HEART!... to put 30-year old me on their pay-roll. ('Cause really, even though it says 1974 on my birth certicate, I assure you that my maturity level can easily compete with that of any two-year old!)

So, danke, Your Holiness Benedict XVI, for making me feel positively wet behind the ears again! Good luck with your new destiny, and thanks for giving me hope that I'll have one of my own some day.

11 Comments

kim said:

he's even 78. so not to worry with your 30. ;o) now, i was thinking (and forgive me 'cause this really is NONE of my business..) - how come boy doesn't "legalize" you? it's not a very romantic thing, i know, but at least chances to find a job may increase..?? and you'd certainly feel a lot more comfortable..?? anyhow - i hope you'll find something real soon! *crossingfingers*

Don said:

You are so right, I've never thought of it that way, you're brilliant! He really does get a stunning view from that balcony...

Lucky bum! All I get is my front garden, hardly close to what 'oom Bennie' now has.

Autumn said:

destiny has a funny way of working doesn't it. I'm glad you found some hope.

Natalie said:

Stupid online translators that don't have Afrikaans. I kick them in the head with golf cleats. They have Afrikaans dictionaries that don't have the word "speak" in there? WTF? I'm all bothered, now.

Anyway, you speak just fine in the morning. I wanted to say that in Afrikaans but I couldn't. :(

Onanymous said:

Natalie - "Jy praat heeltemal goed genoeg in die oggend"

I agree that there is a si-ri-yas lack of Afrikaans translation online. I couldn't find a single one, and dutch really just isn't the same.

Red - Good luck.

kate said:

Nice stories. Hey red, did you ever get my email?

kate said:

Nice stories. Hey red, did you ever get my email?

mice said:

Now that is optimism!

miked said:

chin up my friend! Someone as intelligent as you will find something sooner or later. (hopefully sooner)

I have a question ? I wasn't allowed to post my last comment. Due to questionable content. What's with the Blog police?

Red Dahling,
Why on God's green earth,would you insist on getting a job and actually working like the rest of us poor saps; is totally beyond me. Believe me,the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • Bookstore Diva : Red Dahling, Why on God's green earth,would you insist on getting a job and actually working like th... [go]
  • Bookstore Diva : I have a question ? I wasn't allowed to post my last comment. Due to questionable content. What's wi... [go]
  • miked : chin up my friend! Someone as intelligent as you will find something sooner or later. (hopefully soo... [go]
  • mice : Now that is optimism!... [go]
  • kate : Nice stories. Hey red, did you ever get my email?... [go]
  • kate : Nice stories. Hey red, did you ever get my email?... [go]
  • Onanymous : Natalie - "Jy praat heeltemal goed genoeg in die oggend" I agree that there is a si-ri-yas lack of ... [go]
  • Natalie : Stupid online translators that don't have Afrikaans. I kick them in the head with golf cleats. The... [go]
  • Autumn : destiny has a funny way of working doesn't it. I'm glad you found some hope.... [go]
  • Don : You are so right, I've never thought of it that way, you're brilliant! He really does get a stunning... [go]
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