Slapty bum!

Hello,

Thanks,
Josh

I've been GOOGLEWHACKED!!!! This is FABULOUS! (And thanks to Josh's thorough explanation, I don't need to elaborate on what Googlewhacking is! ) So, no, Josh, thank YOU. Thank you for making me VARY VARY HAPPY!

You see, I also saw that guy on The Tonight Show. Luckily, according to Google (who else?) 'that guy' happens to be a British comedian/author/actor with a name: Dave Gorman.

According to his website, Gorman had all the intentions of writing a novel when one day, just like me, he received an e-mail from a stranger telling him that he'd been Googlewhacked. (So, no Josh, it doesn't look like Dave was the one who invented the game.)

UNLIKE me, Dave didn't know what a Googlewhack! was. (But now he is famous and rich and I'm not and definitely not, so it just goes to show you that sometimes it's far better NOT to know something beforehand.)

So Dave found out what Googlewhacking is. And he started playing it obsessively.

"At the time, googlewhacking seemed to be a pleasant enough distraction. Just something to do while sitting at my computer thinking about how to start writing my novel. I had no idea it was about to take over my life. I tried to resist it but things happened. Lots of things." Dave writes on his website.

"Now, the adventure is over. Googlewhacking has taken me around the world. Three times. I've played table tennis with a nine year old boy in Boston, and I've been way too familiar with some snakes in LA. I've met mini-drivers in North Wales and hippies in Memphis."

Dave has turned his Googlewhack! adventure into a successful one-man stage show. In fact, it's in its final days in Los Angeles right now, but not to fear, because he's taking the show to New York.

For those who still won't be able to make it, there's a DVD (available on Amazon UK) and yes, even though he didn't write a novel, he did write a book about his Googlewhacking experiences.

Anyway, back to my own newfound Googlewhack! adventure: After Gorman's appearance on The Tonight Show, I told the boy about it and said, not without some smugness: "My blog won't ever be a Googlewhack!, because I'm sure that at least one of my three readers have linked to it, so it won't ever come up as just one search."

Turns out that isn't how Googlewhacking works, and now I couldn't be happier that I've been Googlewhacked by Josh!

Only one other mystery remained... the two words Josh used to Googlewhack! me (Googlewhack!, Googlewhack!... yes, I just can't say and write it enough!):

Slapty bum.

Now, I know I sometimes use some weird vocabulary (sometimes... *gasp!*... I even INVENT WORDS!) and then proceed to blame it on the fact that Eeengleesh ees me second langweedge. But "Slapty Bum" had me stumped.

I would've remembered writing that, I'm sure I would've!

So I searched my site.

Nothing.

Then, on a whim, I decided to search my inbox and voila! After poking around a bit, the mystery was solved.

Turns out that my first instinct was accurate: I didn't write it.

But before I knew that for sure, he came to mind as a suspect. I mean, he is Australian after all, where words like slapty is as commonly used as "ain't" is in the U.S. I mean, boomerang? Kangaroo? Have you ever taken the time to repeat that out loud a few times in a row?

But wouldn't you know it! Turns out he is innocent (at least in this case he is!), which makes for a welcome change, doesn't it, my loathsome little chocolate cake?

So who then was the word-inventing culprit responsible for my Googlewhacking?

SHE was!

Yeah, it makes sense now, doesn't it? We should've known it would be only a matter of time before she had one of us (or herself) Googlewhacked!

This is the how she did it.

She wrote the following comment to this post on my blog:

"I'm forbidden to look at any of those things. My family is tired of hearing how I now have cancer of the eye, meningitus, ebola, anthrax, west nile virus, bird flu, leprosy, fungal hooptyfloob, joobaflotz majoris, slapty back wabbamatz, jinormous makamontosis.....

That I'm still walking is a miracle."

Thank you, Ms. Pants!

P.S. Hey Josh, can I please interview you for my blog? Don't worry, nobody reads it but the spambots (and three real people), so your reputation won't be ruined just by sheer association, 'cause nobody (but the spambots and three other people) will ever know.

P.P.S. Oh, and Josh? I checked my blog referrals on Thursday night (mostly spam, as per usual) and actually remember seeing the search 'slapty bum.'

I shook my head and said (out loud): "People are just getting stranger every day."