On Second Thoughts

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Regarding the incident in the bookstore, I suppose I should be grateful that it was just an overzealous Jehovah's Witness ambushing me, and not an overzealous "Hubbard's Witness" like "Doctor" Tomkat* Cruise instead.

For one, I'm sure he would've lectured me for hours because of the bottles and bottles of Ritalin I handed out like candy to all the children who were in my care when I was a nanny. I would've tried to make him understand that I had no choice, because if I hadn't given them the drugs, they would've grown up to behave exactly like he did on Oprah and The Today Show.

On the other hand, in the name of recruiting yet another potential money donour to Scientology, maybe he would've been willing to overlook and even forgive and forget my days as a children's chemist? Perhaps my current plight as an outlawed alien would've won him over?

Maybe he would've looked at all the how-to books in my arms and then his recruitment tactic would've been to butter me up by telling me that he believes in me?

Because, you know, he really DOES believe in aliens.

* Thank you, Salami.

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Speaking about the overzealous religious fanatics. I was in NYC this past weekend and on EVERY corner there was a bunch of Scientologists trying to convert people,right in the middle of Manhattan. I asked my friend,what happened to the days when the Hare Krishnas used to hang out at the airports?
And when did Tom Cruise get his MD or PHD ? I must have been out of the country. Who is he to give medical advice. That nut ball has read a couple of books and now he thinks he knows everything. Though I absolutely hate Dr. Phil,at least he has a PHD and I would be more inclined to listen to his advice as opposed to cradle robber Tom Cruise.

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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  • bookstorediva : Speaking about the overzealous religious fanatics. I was in NYC this past weekend and on EVERY corne... [go]
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