Don't get any ideas!!!!

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Mr. Mice has decided that, instead of just giving me a Green Card vote for free, he was going to make me work for it. So he put me to the test to see how much I know about these United States.

Boy, and did he ever put me through the wringer! Immigration should recruit him to design their quizzes, because I can safely say that his is far more difficult than theirs!

Here's what he asked me (Please note all the sports-related questions! I nearly died.):

This is for Red. Please try not to look up any of these answers. Answer from memory as much as possible.

1. Name the faces on Mount Rushmore

2. How many innings in a Baseball game.

3. Six flags have flown over Texas. Name them.

4. Who was the President during the Civil War?

5. What animal emblazons the Gadsden flag? What is the motto on the same?

6. Two baseball teams have moved from New York to California. Which Califonia baseball team did not move from New York?

7. What is the US National Anthem and what is its major drawback as an anthem?

8. What are the 5 US Armed Forces?

9. What Italian explorer is North America named for? Why?

10. What month is the Superbowl played in?

(If you wish to play, then answer in the comments before opening the extended entry to read my answers and his comments (in bold) on my answers.)

Posted by: redsaid
Location: Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A., but after reading these questions,
considering immigrating back to South Africa, because I can tell you NOW
that I'm not going to pass it!

Mice, you are KILLING me with these! I can tell you for sure that your
questions are definitely FAR more difficult than Immigration's!

I know. :) (Editor: That smiley face at the end smacks of sadism, doesn't it?)

I'll try my best (no cheating, I promise), but I'm afraid it's not going to be very good!

1. Now, I've never been there, but I know what it looks like, so going from
memory, I believe the faces include those of Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson
and Roosevelt. (I'm hoping! I'll admit that Roosevelt is a complete
guess.) And I'm not sure if there is another face, but I THINK there are
only four.

That is correct. The order is Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy
Roosevelt. Very good.

2. Nine? Come on, Mice! I don't even know the rules of South African sports
like rugby or cricket!

Nine is correct. You are doing great! (Editor: At least he is encouraging. But so are serial killers when they lure their victims into their murderous realms.)

3. My guess would be the Confederate flag, the current lone star flag, Old
Glory (does that count? You didn't say just state flags!)... and since I'm already beginning to grasp at straws here, I'm going to probably embarrass myself and say the Mexican flag (shoot me now!) and the British flag... These are completely uneducated guesses! Ugh, I really don't know. Sorry Texas!

1 Confederate
2 US
3 Republic of Texas
4 Mexican
5 French
6 Spanish

4/5ths credit

Very close

Do I score bonus points for knowing that Betsy Ross sewed the first stars
and stripes flag?

No extra credit for that . (Editor: Oooh, that's so mean!)

4. Again, I'm guessing: Abraham Lincoln. PLEASE forgive me if I'm wrong!


5. I REALLY don't know. An eagle?

Snake and Don't Tread on Me. It was at one time considered for the US flag. (Editor: See? He picked a flag with a snake on it. The not-so-subtle symbolism of the snake and the flag's motto speaks volumes of this man's psychotic state!)

6. Oy, again with the sports! You are KILLING me here! I'm going to guess
the San Fransisco team because you live in that vicinity. I know the 49ers is the Football team. I'm afraid I don't know the name of the baseball team though. Besides, I'm probably wrong anyway! My other guess is the LA

The Giants and the Dodgers both came from NY NY Giants and Brooklyn
Dodgers. The A's are orginally from Philadelphia. Good hustle,

7. Finally, something I know! The Star-Spangled Banner (I know all the words, by the way.) It's drawback as an anthem is simply that it is REALLY difficult to sing (unless undertaken by a prolific singer such as yourself, of course. Do I score brownie points for sucking up to you?), because it starts in the key of G, I think. On the 4th they actually did a story about this on one of the networks, and when they said how difficult it was to sing, they showed President Bush and it almost looked like he didn't know the words to it! Anyway, do I get bonus points for knowing that it was written by Francis Scott Key? Hey, it was worth a try!

Very good! (Editor: But of course he didn't give her any bonus points for the Scott Key answer! This behaviour is textbook passive-agressiveness.)

8. Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force and ... oh my gosh! I can't remember what else? Going with the times (because I really can't think of any other branch of U.S. military) I'm going to go out on a limb and guess The Department of Homeland Security? I REALLY don't know.

4/5ths credit You are looking for the US Coast Gaurd. :)> (Editor: Again with that sadistic smiley face!)

9. That Spanish explorer whose first name was Amerigo. Unfortunately I don't remember his last name. I think he was actually named for South America, because he discovered parts of it, but then his name was adopted for North America as well. I actually read something about this not too long ago!

Americo Vespucci is the guy and unlike Columbus, he knew he wasn't in India.

10. *Shakes fist* Damn you for all these sports questions!!!! I KNOW it's in the beginning of the year. At first I was sure that it was the end of January, but now I think it might be at the beginning of February. Aaargh! Maybe I should make like the contestants on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (Even though I feel more like one of the idiots on The Tonight Show's Jay Walking segment right now!) and go with my initial gut instinct and say... no, I'll go for February and hope for the best.

Feb is correct! (Editor: He seemed surprised! TOO surprised, if you ask me...)

I'm deeply ashamed of myself for knowing so little. I guess I've lost your
vote! (Will it help if I look at you with puppy-dog eyes? No? Really?)

You got about 6 points and some change.

Very very good.




-mice (Editor: Maybe I should've waited for him to sign her Green Card petition before making all these remarks, but... oh, well...)

I PASSED! Hurray!

Now I... need... coffee...


mice said:

You did very well. Alll of this is just to reinforce your point that you really are an American.

Hopefully next year we will not have to give you another test.

jack said:

who are you? :)

do you have a pic?

Shannon said:

Erm . . . . I do not even know all of those. I still would have passed the test, but the sports questions . . . erm - bad me. Missed 'em all.

mice said:

Maybe you will do better at the Almost Gothic Quiz

No sports questions whatsoever.

Chris said:

This is WAY tougher than the Jaywalking questions people get on the Tonight Show! I've lived in America all my life and don't know the answers to half of those questions!

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Chris : This is WAY tougher than the Jaywalking questions people get on the Tonight Show! I've lived in Amer... [go]
  • mice : Maybe you will do better at the Almost Gothic Quiz [go]
  • Shannon : Erm . . . . I do not even know all of those. I still would have passed the test, but the sports que... [go]
  • jack : who are you? :) do you have a pic?... [go]
  • mice : You did very well. Alll of this is just to reinforce your point that you really are an American. Ho... [go]
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