Engravements

Posted in Alphabet Soup on July 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Today's cheerful subject is tombstones, and it is brought to us courtesy of him who has brought to my attention this website where you too can create an epitaph (or two, or... if you're like me, a few) of your very own!

Apart from my collection of how-to books (and my itty-bitty booklight), I really have no earthly possessions of worth to leave behind, so I've decided to leave some ideas for my epitaph instead. After all, that's the least I can do! And yes, that way I'd still be able to have the final word!

One day, when Red is dead
Bury her on her head
Write a witty epitaph
To make the mourners laugh

Or, if you lack inspiration and find yourself suffering from tomb-writer's block, I'd like you to use one of these instead:

tombstone 3.jpg

tombstone 4.jpg

tombstone 5.jpg

tombstone 6.jpg

tombstone 7.jpg

The following one is in honour of my brief (but intense) career as a newspaper reporter:

tombstone 8.jpg

And finally, posthumorously:

tombstone 10.jpg

6 Comments

deeleea said:

Brilliant...

Could you write mine for me?

July 28, 2005 4:56 AM

Chris said:

Oh my god, these are ALL AWESOME, Red!!!

Oh, you totally have to come up with one for me, too. You display quite the knack for this! Very clever, indeed!

July 28, 2005 6:30 AM

Don said:

You were right, a little freaky I'd say. Hopefully my ghosts follow your link and bug you for a bit!

July 28, 2005 9:00 AM

bookstorediva said:

Red Dahling,
Hopefully our little hiatus is over. I need something to do at work during the day. I just that you can limit your internet program viewing to after you've finished posting to Le Blog

July 28, 2005 11:54 PM

TimT said:

Oh, these are GREAT! My personal fave. is the one about the tree - there's a whole story in that.

And I hope you don't shuffle off this mortal coil for quite some time, Red!

July 29, 2005 1:46 AM

holley said:

You're a doof, Red, and I say that with love. But I shouldn't talk: I took one look at the link, said "Eeep!" and ran away. I'm not ready to compose my epitaph yet.

July 29, 2005 3:21 PM

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online

holley : You're a doof, Red, and I say that with love. But I shouldn't talk: I took one look at the link, sa... [go]
TimT : Oh, these are GREAT! My personal fave. is the one about the tree - there's a whole story in that. ... [go]
bookstorediva : Red Dahling, Hopefully our little hiatus is over. I need something to do at work during the day. I j... [go]
Don : You were right, a little freaky I'd say. Hopefully my ghosts follow your link and bug you for a bit!... [go]
Chris : Oh my god, these are ALL AWESOME, Red!!! Oh, you totally have to come up with one for me, too. You ... [go]
deeleea : Brilliant... Could you write mine for me?... [go]