Red Needs (a life?)

Found this Meme at the lovely Martha's (who turned 30 on Monday. Go and wish her, I beseech you!). It's a great Meme. No difficult questions to try and answer in a witty or clever manner, no code to copy and paste after answering multiple choice questions. None of that. This Meme only requires you to Google the following: "(Your Name) needs" - The results could be quite hilarious.

At first I Googled my real first name, but since that name ceased to be popular in... oh, who am I kidding, it was NEVER popular because it's a horrible name and I'll never forgive my parents for it! Anyway, the real name didn't get any results, so I Googled 'Red needs' instead.

The mighty Google quickly found that Red needs the following:

1) Red needs linoleum for indoor areas… (Personally, I think I need a good shag (carpet, ye dirty minded beasts!), but well… )
2) Red needs attention (YES! A lot! Always!)
3) What Red needs is something to accentuate the burn (Er… no thanks!)
4) He told me that Red needs oxidation. (Sure. And I'm not even picky about what the chemical substance should be that must be combined with my oxygen, nor do I care who the 'he' is that suggested it!)
5) Red: needs graphics (Well, I just had a reDeesign, but I’ll certainly take a rain check!)
And lastly, my favourite:
6) Red, needs engine (ran out of oil)* otherwise good condition (Why thank you; you are not so bad yerself!)

Feel free to play.

*Isn't it fantastic that one of my searches contained parentheses?!?