My nephew is a stoner...

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… And he is only two and a half years old!

This probably begs an explanation.

Yesterday, I was innocently minding my own business by petting the dogs, when my normally sweet nephew, who was outside with me, was overcome by the mostly hidden Dark Side of his personality (the side usually reserved for throwing Terrible Two tantrums), compelling him to do something to me which I will have to remember to tell all his girlfriends one day while I show them all his naked baby pictures.

My sister came out of the house to ask me something, and I turned my head away from him and the dogs to look at her. Suddenly something made me lose my balance, and I felt a razor-sharp pain at the side of my head, the kind of pain that makes your eyes water.

My nephew had thrown a sizeable stone at me! I had no idea that such a little guy can have such strength… and such great aim!

So yes, alas, I’ve been stoned. By a toddler. And unfortunately, the closest I’ve come to dope is, well, by being myself.

‘Cause I feel like a big dope with a terrible headache…

5 Comments

TimT said:

Yikes! Your nephew has set out on a path that can only lead to felonious pursuits! You must curb his stoning propensity, Red; curb it now, before it gets out of hand!

otherwise - he could turn out like John Vavassour de Quentin Jones WHO LOST A FORTUNE BY THROWING STONES!

Red Dahling,
At that point you should have fed the little hellion to the dogs.

TimT said:

... then again, I suppose the stones had already got out of his hands.

I suggest the lash. It's the only way children will learn ...

Mark said:

Did you throw it back at him? ;o)>

Hi Red, long time no see. Bopped in here from TimT's. Hope all is well with you!

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • Mark : Did you throw it back at him? ;o)> Hi Red, long time no see. Bopped in here from TimT's. Hope al... [go]
  • TimT : ... then again, I suppose the stones had already got out of his hands. I suggest the lash. It's t... [go]
  • bookstorediva : Red Dahling, At that point you should have fed the little hellion to the dogs.... [go]
  • TimT : Hmmm, link didn't work: http://www.socialaffairsunit.org.uk/blog/archives/000570.php... [go]
  • TimT : Yikes! Your nephew has set out on a path that can only lead to felonious pursuits! You must curb his... [go]
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