Re(d)porting for duty. WHADOYOUMEAN I should stop inserting a (d) in words that don't even contain the letter "d" in order to make my own lame play on words? WHADOYOUMEAN the title for this post is too long?

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I can’t help but notice that all three of you have been falling over yourselves to find out why I have been so quiet. I’m really touched to know that people (even phantom ones) care so much about my well-being and about whether I’m still alive or not.

WHADOYOUMEAN it’s nothing unusual for my lazy self to not update this blog for weeks, even months, at a time which is why you weren’t worried?

Oh, right... Never mind then.

Well, just so you know. For once I DO have a valid reason for my silence. Well, at least slightly more valid than watching too many Dr. Phil and Oprah episodes back-to-back, which used to be my usual excuse back in the States.

Ah, those WERE the days... but before we get side-tracked completely and this bit of news becomes entirely anti-climactic:

I have been quiet lately because I... brace yerselves... have.............

(Was your computer upload slow? Sorry, ha ha! Oh, please allow me these small amusements I have.)

.... gotten....

.... oh, what’s the point in drawing it out any longer: a JOB!

No, dumplings. Your peepers have not deceived you. You did indeed read correctly (unless you’re Dyslexic like me, but that’s another blog post altogether): I have gotten meself a job. A J*O*B. Also known, among the more refined set, as E*M*P*L*O*Y*M*E*N*T.

Another far less appealing alias it goes by is plain “work” – that very foreign thing which I have managed to avoid for so long, not allowing it to interfere with all that time I’ve spent lounging in bed and on the couch.

Never mind the fact that, as of yet (and if this was a box containing medicine or poison, this next part would be the very, VERY fine print; so fine it would be almost completely illegible) I’m not making any money from it. Satisfaction is my reward, and of that I have a lot.

Here’s the gory story of how I have gone from broke and unemployed to still broke but at least employed VIRTUALLY OVERNIGHT!

Shortly after my relocation to this hip, lively town of By George!, in a shameless display of nepotism, my mother’s cousin offered me a job.

So here I am, three days into it, and every day I get to fondle and run my fingers slowly up and down spines and just lose myself in the task at hand.

No, no ye dirty minded beasts. I’m not a masseuse. Or a chiropractor. I know I often THINK I’m some type of medical professional, what with all that useful knowledge and wisdom imparted to me by my much-loved and much missed Time/Life A – Z Medical Encyclopedia (hopefully still en route somewhere on the Atlantic Ocean between here and the shores of the United States and not missing forever). But no, these spines I refer to are not of the human kind.

You see, my boss is an avid book collector and dealer, and my glorious job is to assist him in getting the books in a data base from which it will be sold over the internet. (I have yet to part with a book that has been sold, and needless to say, I’m NOT looking forward to it, which probably doesn’t bode well for my future as a book dealer).

Walking into my boss’s beautiful house was, for me, the equivalent of walking straight into paradise: Not only has he been adopted by a large yellow Labrador who allows him to reside with her in his house (provided of course that he continues to dispense regular feedings, ample snacks and long walks on the beach), but floor to ceiling shelves heave under the weight of the thousands of books they hold.

Hundreds more books overflow into every available space, and thus some end up being neatly stacked on chairs while tables become cities with towering skyscrapers made of books. Books, books, and even more books fill every nook and cranny in his house, and I LOVE it.

There are new books, old books, rare books, used books. Art books, cook books, gardening books... novels, autobiographies, biographies, fantasy, and non-fiction. Every genre is covered. Yes, even my beloved How-To books!

There are cloth-bound first editions with yellowing, fragile pages, making my jaw drop in awe and wonderment.

The best of all are the autographed copies that fill me with reverence whenever I touch them, knowing that the same book I’m handling, feeling its precious weight in my hands, were held by the person who created the words and pictures contained within its covers.

That connection and imaginary kinship I then feel with the author and/or artist is a magical thing, and I naively cling to a quiet (but infinitely high) hope that one day some of that ability to create something that will last for a long time will rub off on me too, and that perhaps, in a distant future somewhere, another girl will hold a book written and signed by me, and be inspired in the same way, and that the cycle of creativity will continue to flow without interruption, into infinity.

9 Comments

deeleea said:

That is the best news... you little beauty!!!

Totally jealous of course, books are many of my favourite things too!!

All those words...

Delicious.

pylorns said:

well, its good that you got a job... but you still havent emailed me back!

Annika said:

Excuse me while I DIE OF ENVY.

Marisa said:

Congratulations!
The money may not be rolling in (yet) but you seem satified and content with your new job. I'm quite envious, surrounded by books all days with the beach in walking distance.. sigh

kim said:

it sounds like you're feeling great about the job so who cares about money. plus, maybe this is just a start and you will eventually move on and make some money. a book-related job sounds PERFECT for you :)

TimT said:

Red, you're not lysdexic, and I'm ertainlyc not lysdexic either, but bodyevery else is.

Goncratulations on your new job!!!!

kerri said:

I do hope I was counted among the three (har har) that have been missing you. But, hurrah! for jobs. Especially jobs wherein you get to fondle books. ;)

miked said:

contraduladions!

Red that's wonderful news... and yes, I'm almost possitive that one day you will inspire another soul with your writing. You've got that certain je ne sais qua about you. Simply look at those who've commented before me :)

One more thing, ya gotta keep us "Red Heads" (I just coined the name of your fans) in the know more often.

Red Dahling,
Hooray for you. Welcome to the world of bookselling. Maybe this will inspire you to write your own novel. I just figured that you were trying to settle in at your mom's place. I figured that you would update us when you were ready.

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about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • bookstorediva : Red Dahling, Hooray for you. Welcome to the world of bookselling. Maybe this will inspire you to wri... [go]
  • miked : contraduladions! Red that's wonderful news... and yes, I'm almost possitive that one day you will i... [go]
  • kerri : I do hope I was counted among the three (har har) that have been missing you. But, hurrah! for jobs.... [go]
  • TimT : Red, you're not lysdexic, and I'm ertainlyc not lysdexic either, but bodyevery else is. Goncratula... [go]
  • kim : it sounds like you're feeling great about the job so who cares about money. plus, maybe this is just... [go]
  • Marisa : Congratulations! The money may not be rolling in (yet) but you seem satified and content with your ... [go]
  • Annika : Excuse me while I DIE OF ENVY.... [go]
  • pylorns : well, its good that you got a job... but you still havent emailed me back!... [go]
  • deeleea : That is the best news... you little beauty!!! Totally jealous of course, books are many of my favou... [go]
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