Two for my baby

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Exactly two years ago today, after I had heaved and pushed and struggled and spat out several words of little eloquence, she, assisted by her and her, delivered my baby.

It was love at first byte.

Like all new mothers, I was immediately enamoured by my child. I believed she* was the most beautiful in the world, unmatched by her peers. A lot of people agreed with me, and of course, I believed every one of them.

Quite a surprising amount of people took an interest in my newborn's life, but unfortunately that initial enthusiasm and popularity were short-lived.

For the first few months of her life, my babe had a healthy orange glow to her skin.

A few months later – on my birthday, in fact - I awoke to find that she had turned blue overnight! Since she had already been quite lethargic and unusually quiet at that point, no one was particularly alarmed. In fact, I was rather deelighted by her new look and thought it was an exciting change!

Her new hue was not due to what many had mistakenly thought to be a rare virus, and she survived, which is a good thing, since her skin has remained blue ever since. (But just in case - and some people might find this peculiar and slightly macabre - I have already composed a few epitaphs on her behalf.)

And speaking of survival. We've been through a lot together, the two of us.

She has tolerated my trips down memory lane, my rare travels away from her, and the general neglect she suffered when I ignored her, and when I was too lazy or too busy with other things to spend time with her.

Like a champ, she has endured my cooking attempts. She has been a faithful, uncritical witness every time I attempted a new hobby.

Together, we’ve survived an almost devastating blow, and every day, we are getting through the somewhat arduous, definitely strange process of repatriating to a homeland that she has never known before now, except through the stories she has heard from me.

But there have been good times too. A year ago, on her first birthday, we received well wishes from one of our heroes, none other than Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Connie Schultz!

And when she was a few months old, she miraculously won a contest!

I know I didn’t have her in my life for 29 years, but now I don’t know what I would do (and often would have done, over these past two years) without her. You have to believe me when I say that she has changed my life for the better.

Whenever my life in the United States, so far away from home, seemed bleak, she gave me a reason to get up, to write my nonsense and in so doing, to connect with others. It has led to friendships in unexpected places, and even to a few excitingreal lifeencounters.

She has been a conversation starter, a secret, a passion, a load off, a joy, an amusement (well, to myself at least, even if not to others!), a haven, and a friend. But most importantly, she has been the one thing that has remained a faithful constant in my life at a point when so many other people and things and dreams turned out to be false and fickle.

Today she is officially entering her terrible two’s. Luckily, I’ve lived with my two-year old nephew, so I believe that I know a bit of what’s in store for me.

Besides, even before turning this infamous age, she has already displayed some shocking behaviour (like running up shocking phone and internet bills – granted, that happened with my help).

Dare we ask what could happen next**?

Happy birthday, blog. I love having you and I’ll be forever grateful to Emily for having that contest which brought you into my life, and for everyone who, for reasons utterly beyond my grasp, keeps on reading and egging us on with their comments.

* I'm sure there's a rule somewhere in the infinite cyber blogosphere stating that one's blog should be the same sex as you are. Which would therefore make Red a girl. (WHADOYOUMEAN Am I sure?!?)

* Swearing? Tantrums? Even MORE whining?!? Well, she can start cursing like a right sailor, for all I care, as long as she starts absorbing a LOT less spam.

8 Comments

deeleea said:

I absolutely can't believe it's been that long!!

Time flies when you're having fun huh?

Congrats Red... it's been wucked being on the ride with you! Here's to many more!

TimT said:

Happy birthday, Redsaid!

Now that you have reached the terrible twos, are you going to turn into a stoner just like Red's human nephew? ...

miked said:

awe, it's amazing how time just seems to fly by when you're having so much fun, doesn't it?

happy birthday redsaid, and heres to many more blog entires (hopefully with cheap broadband and or free local calls)

martha said:

congratulations, and happy birthday! Yippee!

kim said:

wow. two years. and how much has happened. in your life that is - in mine, not so much... but anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY redsaid.net and smooches your way!

Alan said:

There was a fine woman called Red
Who huffed and puffed in her head
She reached inside
Spread herself wide
And began writing her blog, Redsaid.

Two whole years ago that was.

Happy Birthday!

Gretchenn said:

Happy Two Years RedSaid! Here's to another healthy year, and another, and another, and another, etc.

kerri said:

Happy Blog Berfday! RS.

It's been fun to be a proud reader/linker/commenter for (what I think has been) a large portion of your first year and a half. Write on sister.

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about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • kerri : Happy Blog Berfday! RS. It's been fun to be a proud reader/linker/commenter for (what I think has ... [go]
  • Gretchenn : Happy Two Years RedSaid! Here's to another healthy year, and another, and another, and another, etc... [go]
  • Alan : There was a fine woman called Red Who huffed and puffed in her head She reached inside Spread hersel... [go]
  • kim : wow. two years. and how much has happened. in your life that is - in mine, not so much... but anyway... [go]
  • martha : congratulations, and happy birthday! Yippee!... [go]
  • miked : awe, it's amazing how time just seems to fly by when you're having so much fun, doesn't it? happy b... [go]
  • TimT : Happy birthday, Redsaid! Now that you have reached the terrible twos, are you going to turn into a ... [go]
  • deeleea : I absolutely can't believe it's been that long!! Time flies when you're having fun huh? Congrats R... [go]
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