Mi Casa

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Interrupting this very, very long (5 day! FIVE! Not even Thanksgiving weekend in the States is 5 days long!) weekend in South Africa to tell you about my new abode...

And never mind the opening paragraph. Because it's already a few days later (in fact, almost time for another weekend!) since I wrote that. See, when I caught myself almost blogging on a long weekend, I got such a huge shock that I promptly went back to being the World's Laziest Blogger.

But I'm dying to tell you all about my new place.

It has two rooms one of which triples as a kitchen, study and bedroom, and a bathroom so tiny that not even a toddler could turn around in it. In fact, I'll spare you the intricate details on how I go through my daily ablutions. Just know that I'm becoming increasingly flexible (and that my aim is improving) by the day.

The toilet really deserves its own post. But just to give you an idea: It is one of those old-fashioned commodes where the tank is high above the bowl with an actual chain that you have to literally swing from like Tarzan in order to get it to flush. (So much for swinging from the chandeliers...)

But once it flushes? You've never seen or heard anything like it. At first there is a low, threatening rumble, then a sound and visual that always put me back to years ago, when my family and I visited the Victoria Waterfall in Zimbabwe.

If you ever need to get rid of a human body, simply come to my place. We can stuff it down the toilet and flush it away. No one will ever know. THAT is how powerful this thing is. On day one I acidentally dropped a bar of soap in there. It didn't even have time to make a final bubble as the tsunami of water washed it away.

The shower, on the other hand, could comfortably hold five people. No, this is just an estimate. Not a proven fact... yet. I may actually have parties in there, though, because I don't know where else I'll be able to entertain. At least that way we can flush the toilet and pretend that we are on a terrace somewhere near a huge fountain.

My shower only has enough hot water for one VERY brief shower, though. Needn't elaborate on how I discovered that. Let's just say it was a very cold shock...

The bedroom has parquet floors. It's seen better days, but the wood gives such warmth to the room, so I've only coverered parts of it with two small and matching area rugs.

The room was already furnished, so one of the only things I have in here is a very large, ratty old office chair that my mom spotted for sale outside a secondhand shop. And since my mom worries about both my economics and my ergonomics, I bought it. So for less than R200, I am now the comfortable owner of a has-been executive office chair (circa late 70's, early 80's) in an indiscernable, greyish colour.

It's WAY too big for the room, but since my family (and some other people) have faith that I'm going to spend a lot of productive hours of writing in it, I shall ignore the general rattiness of the faux leather. Or pleather. Did they even have pleather in 1980, which is probably when this chair was at the peak of its career, warming the arse of some big-shot business exec?

Anyway, so once the money from my planned productivity starts rolling in (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!), I will have the chair reupholstered. In the mean time, I ride around on its surprisingly unsqueaking wheels from one end to the room to the next (it's a short trip, but fun!) and swivel around and around and arou...

Weeeee! More tomorrow! Have to roll on over to the kettle to make some coffeeeeeeeeee.

10 Comments

Red Dahling?
Yippee!!! Sounds wonderful. I can't wait to see your new place when I come to visit. And I will. Isn't it ironic that you found a place in wine country. By the way, Pleather was VERY popular in the 1980's.

You are so funny..Place sounds a treat - couldn't be much smaller than the 1 bed I rented in Pretoria which was my lounge, bedroom, study, etc. etc. And the toilet - came across one on a farm cottage here in England. So they're still (slightly) popular.

ChewTheCud said:

I had one of those chairs before. Very sturdy compared to todays office swivel chairs. I pieced it together from several government office chairs. Alas the pleather cracked after 2 years and it cost too much to reupholster ;(

Greta said:

Hey girl, hope you are doing great, and that your blog is open in front of you, I'm maybe planning on popping in for some tea this afternoon, would that be fine? Great, luvya***

Greta said:

Oh...and by the way, what red wrote about the toilet chain...it really is true! Haha, so much for making use of modern technology! Guess the Google April Fools will come in handy :-)

SilverSabre said:

Heya Red :)

Glad to hear you're all settled in and comfy :)

I had one of those chairs (nicked from the sa education department hehe) only mine was in brown tweed. Very 'establishment' :)

Oh and now that you are in cape town I am dying to meet you (although I have a strong feeling that my jazz fest antics might have scared you to hell and gone :) (aaarghh stalker!!) )

SS

Creatific said:

Oh Red,

That's what I always really adored about you: you're potty humor! :-P

Miss you!

TimT said:

Suggested names for your toilet:

- The Destroyer!

- The Watery Gorge!

- Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here!

- Gormenghast!

Hoorah! For gigantic toilets!

Amy said:

Red hunny - you crack me up!

Take care on the flooring though, wheels do damage!

And don't forget to wish your mum for tomorrow :-)
Amy

deeleea said:

As long as I'm not blogging I can comment!!!

Love the sound of the place. I'm coming to stay, by the way, I'll sleep on the office chair.

I'll get some practice on the chair at work so you don't need to worry about me cricking my neck...

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • deeleea : As long as I'm not blogging I can comment!!! Love the sound of the place. I'm coming to stay, by t... [go]
  • Amy : Red hunny - you crack me up! Take care on the flooring though, wheels do damage! And don't forget ... [go]
  • TimT : Suggested names for your toilet: - The Destroyer! - The Watery Gorge! - Abandon Hope All Ye Wh... [go]
  • Creatific : Oh Red, That's what I always really adored about you: you're potty humor! :-P Miss you!... [go]
  • SilverSabre : Heya Red :) Glad to hear you're all settled in and comfy :) I had one of those chairs (nicked from... [go]
  • Greta : Oh...and by the way, what red wrote about the toilet chain...it really is true! Haha, so much for ma... [go]
  • Greta : Hey girl, hope you are doing great, and that your blog is open in front of you, I'm maybe planning o... [go]
  • ChewTheCud : I had one of those chairs before. Very sturdy compared to todays office swivel chairs. I pieced it t... [go]
  • spunkymonkey99 : You are so funny..Place sounds a treat - couldn't be much smaller than the 1 bed I rented in Pretori... [go]
  • bookstorediva : Red Dahling? Yippee!!! Sounds wonderful. I can't wait to see your new place when I come to visit. An... [go]
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