A Crime for the Digital Era - Wasted on the Likes of Me!

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Well, wonders never cease.

With just days to go before this blog's fourth birthday, I have learned that it has actually fallen prey to a blog thief!

I know. I still can't quite believe it either.

At first I was rather amused that someone would voluntarily pretend to be me. I mean, REALLY. Out of all the millions of far superiour, less obscure, better written blogs out there; blogs that actually have more than three readers and more than three annual updates... why on earth would someone pick the likes of ME?

But I suppose there are just no accounting for taste nowadays. I DO wish my thief was a bit more discerning though. Perhaps I might even have felt a little flattered!

Then again, if my thief had taste, he/she/it (I'll explain later) never would have pilfered MY blog to pass off as his/her/its own to begin with!

Call me naive, but quite frankly, I never knew that blogs could be stolen. I mean, it's not as if someone has walked off with all of it (or even bits of it), because here it still is, very much still in tact.

Now that I know how it was done, it is actually so easy it is - forgive me - CRIMINAL! Really, the sheer audacity of it...

To add even more insult to injury, my particular blog burglar wasn't even very clever.

Allow me to present proof of my blog thief's clear lack of intelligence:

Exhibit A: It bears repeating... out of ALL THE AMAZING BLOGS ON THE ENTIRE WORLDWIDE WEB, THIS ONE - a blog SO obscure, it isn't even part of the worldwide web, but of the worldwide cobweb (the murky, damp, dark depths where forgotten/ignored websites go to wither away and die) - was selected for the taking.

Now look, I agree. Stealing my blog COULD have been a genius move. I mean, if you want to be clandestine and not get caught, steal something no one would miss, right?

But here's where I, with a smug flourish, present to you Exhibit B: The thief might very well have gotten away with it, had he/she/it not decided to DRAW ATTENTION to him-/her-/itself by LEAVING ME A COMMENT!

Actually, this is going to show you exactly just how daft I am as well, because despite the general incoherence of said comment, upon retrospection and just a bit of deciphering, it becomes rather evident that the person/spambot (because it hasn't yet been established whether our criminal is indeed female as she claims, or male, or not quite human... which, if the latter, would actually explain everything then, wouldn't it?)  was pretending to be me right there in that comment!

But of course, I was so happy that I had another sucker... I mean... reader, I probably promptly went into denial and chose to turn a blind eye. After all, readers are precious commodities. And readers who actually comment? Why, for an obscure blogger like me, they are about as scarce as democracy in Zimbabwe! So once you manage to bag one or two of those, you immediately knock them down, cuff them, lock them up and never EVER set them free again!

Since my Sherlock skills were clearly so dormant that I didn't even notice the thievery going on right in front of me, how did I find out about it then?

Well, one of these cowboys came to my rescue yet again. (Between Pylorns and Miss Dee, I'm wracking up an infinite amount of debt!) He grasped the meaning of the close-to-incoherent message, and actually followed the homepage link that was left by the commenter, leading him straight to the incriminating, visually assaulting MySpace page where my blog was cited (MORE THAN ONCE) as the site to get more information on the criminal owner's autobiographical details.

That to me is even more proof that the thief didn't even deign to actually read the stolen site, because if - and from here on out, I'll just refer to the thief as it - it had, it would've known that I don't even HAVE a life. And really, selecting someone with a life (doesn't even have to be an exciting one, although that would certainly help) would've been far more effective for a stolen autobiography.

So what happens now?

I'm not quite sure, since this has never happened to me before. I followed Pylorns' advice and reported the blogger to MySpace for passing my blog off as its own.

I've yet to hear back from MySpace. So either they have taken one glance beyond my blog's gorgeous design (which I had nothing to do with, of course) and actually paused to read the unfortunate words (which I had everything to do with, of course) and immediately decided that the likes of me isn't worth the effort; OR I will only hear from them on Tuesday, since it is the Memorial Day long weekend in the States.

In the meantime, I'm recognising that being stolen is a huge milestone for this here blog. Now, admittedly, it's not quite as good as that time when I was Googlewhacked! by an American dude named Josh, but hey, I'll take whatever comes my way.

Now, if only someone would be kind enough to send me some much coveted hate mail, my blogging life would REALLY be utterly complete...

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6 Comments

I feel slightly jealous of your blog thievery... even though you are a victim!

Perhaps your plagariser had a bet with someone that he/she/it could in fact write in proper English and was using your blog as evidence

pylorns said:

This most interesting thing is that the person that linked to you is dumber than a box of rocks... or moose poo. Take your pick.

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

Aunty: Don't be too jealous! It seems that MySpace is going to make me jump through fiery hoops before they will even consider doing anything about the thief! And as for your theory about the thief possibly having a bet with someone: I like that idea! Because if the bet was to show that the thief could indeed write in English, and it decided to steal MY blog to prove this, well, ha ha, then I can at least derive great consolation from the certainty that the thief then lost very far! It's like Henry Higgins said (almost entirely verbatim but not quite) in My Fair Lady: "Why, no English has been written at redsaid's in YEARS!"

Pylorns: Well, I don't want to insult rocks OR moose. Since you leave me no choice though, I'll pick the latter. But listen, knowing you, I suspect that you are judging the thief's intelligence (or lack thereof) by the thief's unique spelling of words like uhmaizing. Actually, just the fact that the thief picked THIS BLOG to steal is proof enough of the individual's stupidity!


SilverSabre said:

Hmm..i too am jealous. one day when i grow up people will steal my work.

And as for ur question...once it becomes Biologically possible, and if Narika doesnt kill me, then sure :P lol

Hmmm maybe me and SS could do blog thievery on each other... actually we could set up a blog-plagarising exchange. I can see the ads now "feel like your blog isn't good enough to be stolen, well we can prove you wrong for just a very small fee... just 11.95 and you can tell your friends someone else has claimed your work as their own.

This is for blog thievery only... if SS is keen to set up another service company to address other demands, where you, Red, are looking to become a client, that's another matter.... May I suggest "Hot South African Man Juice" as a company name though.

I'll stop now.... way too giddy this afternoon

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

Aunty: I think I've just raptured several internal organs from laughing so hard! You are INSANE, woman. (And you KNOW when I say that it is the highest compliment, don't you?) GREAT business idea. (And yes, the Hot South African Man Juice one as well... I want to add a few things, but I think I'd rather not...)

Silver: Sure! I will steal your blog!!! I will also steal your drawings/paintings, your guitar... hahahahaha.

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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comments
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Aunty: I think I've just raptured several internal organs from laughing so hard! You are INSANE, wom... [go]
  • Aunty Helpful Dictator : Hmmm maybe me and SS could do blog thievery on each other... actually we could set up a blog-plagari... [go]
  • SilverSabre : Hmm..i too am jealous. one day when i grow up people will steal my work. And as for ur question...... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Aunty: Don't be too jealous! It seems that MySpace is going to make me jump through fiery hoops befo... [go]
  • pylorns : This most interesting thing is that the person that linked to you is dumber than a box of rocks... o... [go]
  • Aunty Helpful Dictator : I feel slightly jealous of your blog thievery... even though you are a victim! Perhaps your plagar... [go]
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