July 2008 Archives

Over the past month, I've received thousands of imaginary e-mails from my scores of imaginary readers, checking on my well-being.

In their phantom missives, they said they were alarmed because I've been a bit quiet, even for me, the official World's Laziest Blogger title-holder.

It's true. But this time, I assure you, my silence was not JUST due to the usual laziness required to retain my World's Laziest Blogger title.

Believe it or not, but I've actually been doing a lot of behind-the-scenes writing, because (and I KNOW you won't believe this) I have miraculously been asked to be a part of this, which is described as "
South Africa's first online reality show featuring six of the country's hottest young female storytellers...and your votes. Six weeks, six women, six twists and one ultimate winner."

I am absolutely amazed and astounded and yes, very VERY honoured that the likes of me has been included in this group. Yes, just as with the Blog Awards, I'm convinced that I'm only there because of a tremendous oversight or some glitch in the time/space continuum. Proof? The words "hottest" and "young" put anywhere in a sentence near my name.

So here's how it works: We were each assigned a real-life, ambient element and asked to write a fictitious short story of five chapters long. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, not quite. You see, not only do our stories have to have a twist at the end, but our twists have to directly involve the assigned ambient element. Trust me, this caused me to resort to a lot of binge drinki... hyperventilate. And break out in hives, for good measure.

The contest kicked off two weeks ago and is playing out on the official website. Every week, a different writer's story is featured. It is pure, delicious torture for those reading along (and we weren't privy to each others' stories beforehand, so I can tell you, I've been getting so swept up in the amazing writing, at times I forget that they are my competitors! And actually, I'd rather not think about that aspect of it, because then I break into hives all over again!), because every day - beginning on a Monday - only one chapter is published. On the Friday, the final installment of a story is published, culminating in the real life event happening somewhere in the country. Cool, huh?

Readers get to vote for their favourite (only one vote per reader) and since the prize is a cool R10 000 (yes, THOUSAND) and since my story will only be featured during the final week and you'll therefore only have one day to vote for me, I'm hoping that you will have forgotten all the other amazing stories by that time and that you'll therefore only cast your precious votes in my favour, making me a winning, RICH author!

Ah, THAT is probably why I was approached to take part in this. Because my imagination is clearly infused with delusions of grandeur.

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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