Rag(el) to Riches
Disclaimer: Cue the melodramatic, wailing violins for this one...
After a fitful, restless night (nothing unusual there, actually) I woke up in a frenzy this morning.
The fact that I was awake way before the crack of noon was already alarming enough, and would normally be sufficient to shock me straight back into a comatose state.
But I remained awake. Not ALERT, mind you. For one, I weirdly thought that it was an hour later than it actually was.
So when I saw this, I rapidly shook my head (a la Loony Tunes character) and rubbed my eyes, blinked, and looked again. Certain that the cruel delusion would be gone and the true winner's name would be there.
Because what I was seeing couldn't be. In fact, I was SO sure that it WOULDN'T be, I had already written up a congratulatory post to any of the other five who I thought would surely win.
But no. It was still my name. The very same name that I have loathed and despised since birth. My hatred for it flared in the States, where everyone who read it from a form or from my passport pronounced it to rhyme with 'Bagel' while looking at me with bewilderment and pity. "Girl," I could almost see them think, "Your parents sure must not have liked you very much!"
Then I patiently explained that really, it's okay for them to say 'Rachel', because that's what it genuinely translates to in English.
Today I'm really grateful to be the owner of this despicable name.
In fact, I'm so happy, I've literally been sobbing for three hours straight.
(Yes, what can I say. I've always been a *tad* on the emotional side.)
Before I launch into the inevitable thank you's, please allow me to tell you something. To some of you, this isn't exactly news, but please humour me (as always).
These past few years have been HARD on me. When my American Dream died, I thought my life was over. I really did. (Melodramatic, MOI?)
I felt like a failure when I was forced to return to South Africa, tail-between-the-legs, broke, broken-up-with and... well... considerably rounder than I was when I had left here nine years before. Let's just say that it was not exactly the triumphant homecoming I had always envisioned for myself.
It was humbling and humiliating and I thought that I would never recover from it. But my family and friends (both offline and on) have been AMAZING.
On days - and oh, there have been many - when I thought that I couldn't carry on anymore; when the amount in my bank account was so low that the fear would almost choke me; something miraculous would always happen. My sister would invite me to dinner (and I'd end up staying the week... but that's another story!), or my roommate would bring me fruit from their farm...
They have all encouraged me to continue chasing my dream of being a full-time writer. Bless 'em, for they've never told me to go out there and get a 'real job', even if it means that I'm still living like a student at the age of nearly 34, and that I have not been able to buy any of them any birthday or Christmas gifts in YEARS.
This past year I have come especially close to quitting this whole writing thing. It has just been an UNBELIEVABLE struggle. Jobs that didn't pan out. Jobs lost. At times it seemed that someone was trying to send me a message, saying: "Kiddo, you're way off track here. Leave it to the ones who are able/more capable. You're OBVIOUSLY not meant to do this."
These past few months have been particularly bad. My lack of finances have often left me panic-stricken. So I actually made up my mind that this contest would be the deciding factor. I thought: "When (being the operative word) I lose, I will get a day job. Surgically extract myself from the laptop for a while and then, after some time to rethink things, perhaps get back to it and just write for pleasure again."
I didn't even consider an alternative outcome, so I'm rather lost right now... However, any and all book deals would beimmediately accepted thoughtfully entertained!
All right, now for the Most Important Part: Thank you, Jonathan Cherry and Heinrich Hattingh, the marketing geniuses behind this entire campaign-with-a-twist. Thank you VERY much for inviting me to be a part of it! It was amazing... Even though coming up with a plot twist involving those damn bubbles nearly caused my head to explode!
Thank you, to all three of my readers, for voting for me. (And you obviously managed to convince a few of your friends to vote for me as well!) Seriously though, so many of you have been egging me on, stubbornly continuing to believe in me, long after I had given up on myself... I especially need to single out campaign manager Aunty, Silver, Dee, Pylorns, Fin and Beerslinger, Kim, and the guys and gals at MyDigitalLife.
Thank you, Woolworths, for the most money I have ever been paid for any of my writing!! EVER! That new clothing line is TSSSSSSSSS! (SO hot!)
And then, to my other 'Twisted Sisters': Breathtaking Alice, Deliciously decadent Jeanne, Prosaic Bridget, Not-a-Chav-innit Laurian and succinctly hilarious Nikki... it was truly my honour and pleasure to have been included in your company. You are all incredibly talented and those few of you who were not on my feed reader before this were promptly added. I look forward to reading a LOT more of your writing!
After a fitful, restless night (nothing unusual there, actually) I woke up in a frenzy this morning.
The fact that I was awake way before the crack of noon was already alarming enough, and would normally be sufficient to shock me straight back into a comatose state.
But I remained awake. Not ALERT, mind you. For one, I weirdly thought that it was an hour later than it actually was.
So when I saw this, I rapidly shook my head (a la Loony Tunes character) and rubbed my eyes, blinked, and looked again. Certain that the cruel delusion would be gone and the true winner's name would be there.
Because what I was seeing couldn't be. In fact, I was SO sure that it WOULDN'T be, I had already written up a congratulatory post to any of the other five who I thought would surely win.
But no. It was still my name. The very same name that I have loathed and despised since birth. My hatred for it flared in the States, where everyone who read it from a form or from my passport pronounced it to rhyme with 'Bagel' while looking at me with bewilderment and pity. "Girl," I could almost see them think, "Your parents sure must not have liked you very much!"
Then I patiently explained that really, it's okay for them to say 'Rachel', because that's what it genuinely translates to in English.
Today I'm really grateful to be the owner of this despicable name.
In fact, I'm so happy, I've literally been sobbing for three hours straight.
(Yes, what can I say. I've always been a *tad* on the emotional side.)
Before I launch into the inevitable thank you's, please allow me to tell you something. To some of you, this isn't exactly news, but please humour me (as always).
These past few years have been HARD on me. When my American Dream died, I thought my life was over. I really did. (Melodramatic, MOI?)
I felt like a failure when I was forced to return to South Africa, tail-between-the-legs, broke, broken-up-with and... well... considerably rounder than I was when I had left here nine years before. Let's just say that it was not exactly the triumphant homecoming I had always envisioned for myself.
It was humbling and humiliating and I thought that I would never recover from it. But my family and friends (both offline and on) have been AMAZING.
On days - and oh, there have been many - when I thought that I couldn't carry on anymore; when the amount in my bank account was so low that the fear would almost choke me; something miraculous would always happen. My sister would invite me to dinner (and I'd end up staying the week... but that's another story!), or my roommate would bring me fruit from their farm...
They have all encouraged me to continue chasing my dream of being a full-time writer. Bless 'em, for they've never told me to go out there and get a 'real job', even if it means that I'm still living like a student at the age of nearly 34, and that I have not been able to buy any of them any birthday or Christmas gifts in YEARS.
This past year I have come especially close to quitting this whole writing thing. It has just been an UNBELIEVABLE struggle. Jobs that didn't pan out. Jobs lost. At times it seemed that someone was trying to send me a message, saying: "Kiddo, you're way off track here. Leave it to the ones who are able/more capable. You're OBVIOUSLY not meant to do this."
These past few months have been particularly bad. My lack of finances have often left me panic-stricken. So I actually made up my mind that this contest would be the deciding factor. I thought: "When (being the operative word) I lose, I will get a day job. Surgically extract myself from the laptop for a while and then, after some time to rethink things, perhaps get back to it and just write for pleasure again."
I didn't even consider an alternative outcome, so I'm rather lost right now... However, any and all book deals would be
All right, now for the Most Important Part: Thank you, Jonathan Cherry and Heinrich Hattingh, the marketing geniuses behind this entire campaign-with-a-twist. Thank you VERY much for inviting me to be a part of it! It was amazing... Even though coming up with a plot twist involving those damn bubbles nearly caused my head to explode!
Thank you, to all three of my readers, for voting for me. (And you obviously managed to convince a few of your friends to vote for me as well!) Seriously though, so many of you have been egging me on, stubbornly continuing to believe in me, long after I had given up on myself... I especially need to single out campaign manager Aunty, Silver, Dee, Pylorns, Fin and Beerslinger, Kim, and the guys and gals at MyDigitalLife.
Thank you, Woolworths, for the most money I have ever been paid for any of my writing!! EVER! That new clothing line is TSSSSSSSSS! (SO hot!)
And then, to my other 'Twisted Sisters': Breathtaking Alice, Deliciously decadent Jeanne, Prosaic Bridget, Not-a-Chav-innit Laurian and succinctly hilarious Nikki... it was truly my honour and pleasure to have been included in your company. You are all incredibly talented and those few of you who were not on my feed reader before this were promptly added. I look forward to reading a LOT more of your writing!
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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger;
by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano,
and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column.
If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you canstalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com
The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)
online
Or you can
The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)
online
- Redsaid
: Red Riding Hood: Girl, thank you SO much for your incredibly sweet words! You totally made me cry! I... [go] - Redsaid : Kim: DANKE SCHÖN, my darling friend! As for the funky feeds... I think it simply goes into shock eve... [go]
- Redsaid : Jeanne and Bridget: My dear fellow 'twisted sisters'... I still can't believe it's true! I'm still e... [go]
winner of
winner of best writing
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Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.
winner of best writing
retro dots skin designed with care by
liberty belle skin designed with care by
hosted with love by
Blogomania
script assistance by
scriptygoddess
MT Blacklist
one reader and counting... by
with these rings, I thee join
« Blog Baltimore »
Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.
You go girl! Glad the bubble never burst for you (so to speak!) Still sobbing into my coffee, but I wouldn't have wanted to lose to anybody else :)
Red my dear :)
I told you it was yours from the start :)
Well done!
SS
Book..boook...book...book...book...book... can you hear the chant of people...
This is one you honestly deserve. Bask in it, because you have earned it.
Darling, you deserve every bit of this joy. (And the cash too.)
Congrats dear. You deserve it
I agree with Pylorns... book book book book
... and now I'm going to start claiming credit for your succes. You'll hear me saying (if you could hear me from this far away) "Well I know she wrote the actual story, but it was my 11th hour marketing campaign that really won the prize... what did I do? ... well its not so mcuh what I did as what I didn't do... less doing, more of a general wishing it would work out for Red... but I'm sure that empassioned speech I wrote for her was the tipping point... mainly because it included swearing... yes that's it: I was her official manager of swearing... I know I can't believe I did so much for her either" and so on.
A great big congratulations! I'm so glad your faith in writing has been restored :)
The perfect opportunity to show that you're meant to be doing this!
Congrats, again!
Congratulations Ragel! How awesome! I am sure you will write a book soon!
Jeanne and Bridget: My dear fellow 'twisted sisters'... I still can't believe it's true! I'm still expecting to wake up and to see any of YOUR names up there. I've no idea how or why it happened to me. Just incredibly overwhelmed and grateful. It was SUCH an incredible honour for me to be up there with all of you. Jeanne, please stop crying. Coffee and tears don't go well together. (I should know, even though we both know that I don't do the cooking thing. I know, though, because it's the only thing I've been drinking for the past few weeks!) Bridget, now that I can actually afford to buy your book, will you please autograph it for me?
Silver: Ever my loyal and faithful friend. Thank you again for all the behind-the-scenes encouragement! (I'm just making it clear so that people will know who to blame! :-D)
Py: Is THAT what the voices in my head have been chanting? I could've sworn it was "Fluke, fluke, fluke..."
Beerslinger: I definitely don't deserve it more than any of the others. Thank you so much though. Especially for these past few days!
Annika: Doll, I will never forget meeting you in LA! Can you believe everything that has happened to both of us since then?!? I wish I could celebrate with you and a Starbucks latté!
Aunty: My darling campaign manager. It was definitely your campaigning that clinched the deal for me. It was all your eloquence. But especially the cursing. Must've been. Because almost NO ONE I know voted for me!!! And my hits from Ireland has spiked DRAMATICALLY! Go raibh mile maith agat!
Terra: Thank you again, dear Terra!
Nadine: SWEETY! Oh, my gosh! I can't believe you are still reading! I still remember the day you 'came out' and revealed your real name on YOUR blog! But yours is MUCH nicer than mine!
And Dee? You little sneak... You may not have commented, but you and I both know exactly what you HAVE done! Naughty, naughty! :-)
awww RED, I JUST SAW THIS NOW.
i blame your feed not working. but i digress...
CONGRATS! you really, REALLY deserve this!
you are a GREAT writer and i can't WAIT for the book.
oh, and the rest of the nanny saga, of course... ;)
Hey!!!! Loved your story!!!! You deserved to win!!!!!! Love your blog btw...
Alice
Hey redsaid
Since you have been SO kind as to read and comment on my blog, I feel brave enough to ask you: Where is the end of the Nanny saga? I read parts one and two, but cannot find the end to this tragic tale. Am I missing it somehow?
You cannot leave a girl in suspense like this :)
Hi Red, I've been meaning to comment - but I've been fighting with Movable Types (it's a regular thing).
Thanks so much for your kind words! I'm absolutely delighted that you won and that you've had your faith in yourself restored.
Congratulations.
Love x
Kim: DANKE SCHÖN, my darling friend! As for the funky feeds... I think it simply goes into shock every time I update this blog. Seriously, I know that it WAS broken some time ago, but as always, between Dee and Pylorns, the problem was fixed. I know this is a pain in the arse, but would you please try to resubscribe? And if it is STILL broken after that, then we know that there is another glitch.
Okay... and you didn't REALLY write those two words again, did you?!? :-)
Alice and Nikki: I mean it. I still can't get over the fact that I was even up there with all of you! Please don't ever quit writing! Thank you again for your kindness and grace.
Po: Trust me, the pleasure of reading your blog is all mine! As for your bravely posed question: *Sticks fingers in ears*: LALALALALALALALALALALALALALAAAAA! I can't HEAR you!!!!
*Sighs* Okay, fine.
The rest of it has not been written yet. Well, I did write a third part, but left it behind when I came home. Seemed symbolically apt at the time.
But, hey... now that I finally have the guts to write a book, I might disguise parts of that tale as fiction. In this case, the truth certainly is stranger than fiction...
Its no surprise to me you won this... you are an outstandingly amaizing writer... you touch peoples hearts and they can feel where you are coming from... You are a wonderful roll model that many young african woman... and possubly even men, could use... you create this beautiful peice of art through every column you blog through masterpeices each and every one of them... people would easily pay to see your site... (I know I coppied you writings and.......... no JUST KIDDING I PROMISE!) thought I could throw some humor into that saying as my last comment posted a long time ago was COMPLETELY misunderstood... I read your blogs to my son (and though 5 months old he always seems to hang on every word patiently awaiting to find out what happens next)...
You are a great gift to this world.. one that deserves the acknowledment givin to her (Sorry if that was spelt wrong Im not sure it is but the word looks funny)
I guess what I am trying to say is THANK YOU FOR BEING WHO YOU ARE AND NOT FEARING YOURSELF... reading your summaries some how helps me in the knowing that there are still good people out there who occasionally wear their hearts on their sleaves to bring a sense of peace to others... I have much respect for you for not giving up through your hard times... had that been me I probubly would have just let the hard times devour me and eat at me till all that poured out in the words would have been complete nigative pessimistic bull shit............
congratulations sweety! They definately choose a star for the prize....
Red Riding Hood: Girl, thank you SO much for your incredibly sweet words! You totally made me cry! I'm really incredibly touched. I am SO surprised and happy to know that you are still reading! Thank you! And take good care of yourself and your little boy.
First we take South Africa - then we take the world!
All hail the all-conquering Red!
Hey Red :) Congrats again.. Just popping in!