NaBloOncAWeOrAForNi(OrWheEv)Mo

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Hello my beloved imaginary readers!

Would you believe that I actually have a thing or two to tell you for a change?

Okay, so maybe the 'or two' is a bit of a blatant exaggeration.

So, before I share the one morsel of news that I have, let's talk about what's going on in the world for a minute.

After all, that's why all three of you read here, isn't it? To be reminded again of news that has happened days, weeks or even months ago! That is the sort of timely journalism you have come to expect from me.

And speaking of months... let us proceed to conveniently segue into our first topic!

November sees many masochistic ambitious bloggers sign up for a variety of events. Events that cruelly demand of them compel and inspire them to write novels or blog every day for a month. The latter is known as NaBloPoMo (or National Blog Post Month) and I have (Edited: Errrm... turns out HAD) a friend participating. Since I am reluctant to break my head tradition of never in my life blogging daily for an entire month, and since the idea of me ever signing up for something as labour-intensive as NaNoWriMo - in which users are supposed to write 50 000 words towards those novels that they had always TALKED about writing - I've decided to create my own November tradition.

Friends, feel free to join me in participating in NaBloOncAWeOrAForNi(OrWheEv)Mo. The succinct acronym stands for National Blog Once a Week Or A Fortnight (Or Whenever) Month. (Kindly note that it is only the second acronym ever to contain parentheses.)

So, NaBloOncAWeOrAForNi(OrWheEv)Mo is rather self-explanatory. Participants are required to adopt my rather grueling schedule of not-blogging. And employ this diligent habit regularly.

In other, it-must've-been-a-slow-news-day news: Last Sunday morning, I was rudely awakened by my phone notifying me that I had received a text message. It was my sister in Jo'burg (who should've known far better than sending me text messages on a Sunday or ANY day before the crack of noon) informing me that my horrible name has appeared in a local English newspaper. "What, in the obituaries section?" I asked.

Turns out she wasn't fibbing. She brought the paper when she was down here this past weekend, and by George, there it was! My name. In tomorrow's fish wrapping! Forgive me for gushing, but this is a Big Deal, because my name has never even appeared in a phone book. There is even online proof to the fact of my name being in that paper. Wanna see it? WANNA SEE IT? (Hint: Say yes, and pretend to mean it!) Here it is, but don't blink, for you might miss it.

As if that isn't enough to make me feel even more popular than newly President-elect Barack Obama of the US (and I had actually written a blog post about that glorious occurrence. But since I had scribbled it after having stayed up all of Tuesday night watching it all unfold, slowly, on MSNBC, I thankfully refrained from pressing publish. And it's a good thing too, because - like many of those somewhat ill-advised things which one tends to do and which seems like a genius idea in the heat of the moment (drunk-dialing/e-mailing, anyone?) - I realised in retrospect that my post was a TAD on the deranged emotional side and that you, my three imaginary readers, are far better off NOT reading it. Ever. Oh, but at the time? I thought I was employing splendid literary and poetic prowess).

So where was I? Oh, yes... then something else happened that made me feel Very Important: I was tagged to do a Meme! By this lovely creature! And I promise her I WILL do it. Only, I'm not quite sure when. Will it be tomorrow? Or in a fortnight?

There is simply no telling when. (In fact, it might take me far longer than a decade to remember what I've not done this past decade!)

After all, being lazy is a full-time occupation!

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7 Comments

Ah jaysus howeya? glad to have you back here. Will respond to your email later cos I now have to get up off this couch and go to college!

Newspaper story is cool. Your famous now! I think you should have published your emotional election post. I'm all for ill-advised blogging (as you may have noticed!)

Po said:

Good grief I signed myself up for Nablopomo or whatsits called, and even though I have no problem blogging once a day normally, now that I signed up I am feeling the pressure and the need to rebel. I aint gonna do it! Your thingy-tradition sounds more appealing.

Po said:

PS congrats on the name in the paper!

Terra said:

Cool... you're in the paper. I signed up for NaNo... regretting it a bit at the moment!

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

Aunty: Trust me, you don't want to see the ill-advised election post. Being emotional and/or totally blotto is one thing, but being emotional AND out of my mind with fatigue after having stayed up all night to watch the wussy MSNBC anchors being too scared to call it all bleeding night even after it had become blatantly obvious that this one was all for Obama... *takes breath*... AND suffering an election hang-over? Does not a good blog post make. Then again, even when I'm stone cold sober I don't deliver good posts anyway, do I? (No need to lie... I mean... reply to that question.)

Po: NO! Please keep at it! Besides, you have ACTUAL READERS. If you follow my thingymanoposts? Trust me, it's the sure-fire fastest way to lose readers. And don't be insulted, because you aren't readers, you are my friends. Whether you want to be or not!

Terra: Wow, a NaNOVEL entrant! What's your word count to date? No pressure or anything... ;-)

And to all three of you (what a coincidence! Could it be that YOU have been my three imaginary readers all along?): Thank you for lowering the universal yard stick for fame. I assure you I'm just as obscure as I was two weeks ago...

TimT said:

Us readers of this blog can sleep happily in the knowledge that WE KNEW YOU WERE FAMOUS before the rest of the world!

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

TimmyT! Alas, even with a 100 real readers (yeah, yeah... so I can dream, all right?), I'll NEVER reach your height of fame and infamy! Good of you to pay a visit to the obscure, world wide cobweb side of things again for a change!

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about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: TimmyT! Alas, even with a 100 real readers (yeah, yeah... so I can dream, all right?), I'll NEVER re... [go]
  • TimT : Us readers of this blog can sleep happily in the knowledge that WE KNEW YOU WERE FAMOUS before the r... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Aunty: Trust me, you don't want to see the ill-advised election post. Being emotional and/or totally... [go]
  • Terra : Cool... you're in the paper. I signed up for NaNo... regretting it a bit at the moment!... [go]
  • Po : PS congrats on the name in the paper!... [go]
  • Po : Good grief I signed myself up for Nablopomo or whatsits called, and even though I have no problem bl... [go]
  • Aunty Helpful Dictator : Ah jaysus howeya? glad to have you back here. Will respond to your email later cos I now have to get... [go]
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