Re(d)solutions 2009

1.) In 2009, I resolve to remain just as slothful as I was last year and during all the preceding years of my life.

2.) I'm going to comfort eat. This means I'll simply HAVE to eat everything and anything in sight when I'm bored/stressed/depressed/angry/happy. I'm elated to report that, on this 21st day of the year, I'm already wildly successful at these first two resolutions.

3.) I shall continue to proudly live up to my title as The World's Laziest Blogger, and watch as my largely ignored blog continue to languish away in obscurity on the world wide cobweb (this dark, damp, forgotten part of the Internet where insignificant websites come to die without ever being hit on - kind of like some blogger I know, actually!).

4.) This year, I'll continue to procrastinate even the act of procrastination itself. I mean, why do something later if you can do it even LATER than that?

5.) I absolutely will NOT write a book this year. I'll just continue to talk about how I'd love to write one. Because I've heard that talk is cheap, so that is clearly the way to go during these trying economic times.

6.) I still refuse to get a boyfriend. As my mom always says: If we'd wanted trouble, we'd have bought a secondhand Alpha Romeo with an oil leak.

7.) Even though talk is cheap, I won't learn to parle l'Français. It's far easier to continue to speak about how badly I want to learn it than to do all that actual memorising, ne pas? 

I have a feeling that I'm going to stick to these!