Re(d)solutions 2009

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1.) In 2009, I resolve to remain just as slothful as I was last year and during all the preceding years of my life.

2.) I'm going to comfort eat. This means I'll simply HAVE to eat everything and anything in sight when I'm bored/stressed/depressed/angry/happy. I'm elated to report that, on this 21st day of the year, I'm already wildly successful at these first two resolutions.

3.) I shall continue to proudly live up to my title as The World's Laziest Blogger, and watch as my largely ignored blog continue to languish away in obscurity on the world wide cobweb (this dark, damp, forgotten part of the Internet where insignificant websites come to die without ever being hit on - kind of like some blogger I know, actually!).

4.) This year, I'll continue to procrastinate even the act of procrastination itself. I mean, why do something later if you can do it even LATER than that?

5.) I absolutely will NOT write a book this year. I'll just continue to talk about how I'd love to write one. Because I've heard that talk is cheap, so that is clearly the way to go during these trying economic times.

6.) I still refuse to get a boyfriend. As my mom always says: If we'd wanted trouble, we'd have bought a secondhand Alpha Romeo with an oil leak.

7.) Even though talk is cheap, I won't learn to parle l'Français. It's far easier to continue to speak about how badly I want to learn it than to do all that actual memorising, ne pas? 

I have a feeling that I'm going to stick to these!


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8 Comments

TerraShield said:

Lol! Red, you do make me laugh. Good luck in keeping up with them! :)

I like it!

I generally don't make resolutions, but this year I keep saying I'll finish the fucking thesis... however seeing your resolution makes me think I should talk about finishing the fucking thesis without actually finishing the fucking thesis.

Oh have you read Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure - I highly recommend it... it's really a cautionary tale about how talking about writing a book can lead to a whole lot of trouble... and expense - talk is not always cheap.

kyknoord said:

Oh Red, you're an absolute inspiration. I really wish I had your get-up-and-go. I'm way too lazy to make resolutions.

Po said:

So then, one month in, how are those resolutions coming along?

Nafisa said:

Hey Red. I forgot about your website, I've been neglecting my google reader too. I've linked you on my "links" page ;)

Lol @ refusing to get a boyfriend??

Nafisa said:

Also - why dont you sign up with Adgator - and make money? www.adgator.co.za :) First of its kind in SA to do so.

I'm making some decent cash with it on my food24 blog.

misslisa said:

see, here I am :) ... delurked I guess!

Catz said:

Aha, Red - the Catz is snooping in your site!!

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • Catz : Aha, Red - the Catz is snooping in your site!!... [go]
  • misslisa : see, here I am :) ... delurked I guess!... [go]
  • Nafisa : Also - why dont you sign up with Adgator - and make money? www.adgator.co.za :) First of its kind in... [go]
  • Nafisa : Hey Red. I forgot about your website, I've been neglecting my google reader too. I've linked you on ... [go]
  • Po : So then, one month in, how are those resolutions coming along?... [go]
  • kyknoord : Oh Red, you're an absolute inspiration. I really wish I had your get-up-and-go. I'm way too lazy t... [go]
  • Aunty Helpful Dictator : I like it! I generally don't make resolutions, but this year I keep saying I'll finish the fucking ... [go]
  • TerraShield : Lol! Red, you do make me laugh. Good luck in keeping up with them! :)... [go]
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