Since Practically Everything Else Has Been Broken, I Might As Well Break My Silence Too

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Over these past few days, I think I may have broken my own record (and possibly even the world record) for accidentally breaking things within a short space of time. (Well, I did break both my arms - one at a time - when I was a kid, but that happened about four or five years apart.)

On Monday, I broke another coffee mug. On Wednesday, I broke a bottle of exquisite perfume (Eden by Cacherel. It was a lovely scent and it was still more than half full... my heart was as shattered as the perfume bottle. On the bright side: the rug in front of my closet now smells FANTASTIC.) And today, while tending to my sick-with-a-stomach-bug sister, I managed to drop a glass Coke bottle on my toes... which now FEEL as if they ought to be broken but aren't.

So in keeping with the theme of this smashing week, I have decided that tonight is as good a time as any to break my silence as well.

Now, normally my lack of blogging is due to my extreme laziness. This time, however, I was literally stunned into it. Around mid-November, I received some dreadful news. Seriously, I still go NUMB when I think about it. It involved just me and I only told my one sister, two close friends and - since she had the unfortunate timing of e-mailing me right around then and she happened to casually and politely ask how I was doing - her.

Usually, when I'm shocked (or happy, or sad, or watching Animal Planet), I cry my eyes out. Well, I did this time too (no sense in breaking tradition, is there?), but I was so sick with shock, fear and stress, that instead of reaching for the comfort food as I usually do when faced with something scary/stressful/sad, I actually stopped eating for a few days. Which, truly, is a remarkable accomplishment for the likes of me! The last time I had experienced this same kind of awful terror and stress-induced dieting, was from October to December of 2005, when my American Dream died a swift and painful death.  

Luckily, after weeks of being suspended in agonising limbo, I found out that things are going to be okay after all, but not until after I had withdrawn from the world for a bit. (That's my way of tackling problems: burrowing deeper under the duvet and hoping that all my troubles will be gone when I surface again!) Hence the silence.

Now, since the silence has been officially broken, here's the not-quite-so-breaking-anymore news:

Not only has my aunt fully recovered from her stroke, she is even BETTER than she was before! Case in point: after years of reading with glasses (I sometimes even had to read the menus out loud to her and my mom in dimly lit restaurants), she now reads perfectly without it!! Isn't that freaky? Less than two weeks after being released from hospital, she repainted the inside of her entire house. The doctors are completely amazed at her recovery. My mom said they were literally gawping at her when she went for her follow-up visit.

Oh! And I've experienced fame (well, we use the term extremely loosely) @ last as a twit-lit author (word we also use loosely): see here, but first be warned that you are about to encounter my hideous real name again. I make a brief appearance after all the really brilliant stuff and the truly talented people.

There is a bit more news involving horticulture, more gifts received (sent from locally and abroad), wildlife and what age I look (again!), but that'll have to wait until later. My stupid toes are still throbbing so much, I think I have to hop around and utter a few offending words and phrases again. I recently read that cursing when you're in pain actually helps to alleviate the soreness. So far it hasn't worked for me... but I'll gladly give it another &*%$#@!!!F!F!F shot! 
 

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8 Comments

terrashield said:

I know how you feel about hiding under the duvet and hoping everything turns out well.. I used to be that way, although I can't say being vocal has helped much.

Good to know that you're feeling less anxious now, especially about your aunt's stroke.

kim said:

that is GREAT news! :) happy holidays to you and your family (and try not to brake anything...) xoxoxo

Po said:

Oh Redsaid, goo news about your aunt! But sorry to hear you hae been suffering, you poor thing. I find swearing helps me loads, but it has to be quite filthy.

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

terra: I thought I was the only one practicing the "head under the duvet" strategy to cope with crises! As for cursing, I'm afraid it didn't help much for me either!

kim: Danke, schatze! I took your advice to heart and didn't break anything else, but I DID pull a muscle in my leg (don't ask, don't ask... I swear I should just never ever get up again! It's safer.). Happy and healthy (and headache free!!!) holidays to you!

Po: Hahahaha at the filthy part. "Shiitake mushrooms" is my curse of choice these days, shamelessly borrowed from Oscar, the protagonist in Jonathan Safran Foer's AMAZING second novel "Everything is Illuminated". Adorable character. xx P.S. I'm SO sorry I won't be in Stellenbosch when you visit Cape Town!!

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

Duh... I've just realised my mistake. Jonathan S. Foer's second novel isn't "Everything is Illuminated". It's "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close". I've read and adored both books, but shiitake mushrooms as a curse is still borrowed from Oscar, the young genius in Extremely Loud...

Eldrick Woods said:

Happy New Year 2010! Ms. Red.

Should we say the year as "Two Thousand Ten" or "Twenty-Ten"?

Numerically should we write the year as "2010", "2K10", "2KX" or "MMX" (in Roman Numerals)?

I hope everyone has a great year no matter how its said or written?

the Duchess said:

Hi RedSaid!

I found your blog through Res's blog (isn't Res the greatest!) and in reading your left margin sidebar had to say hi and leave a comment. Oulawed aliens is so much more exciting than illegal immigrant. Ah the U.S. and their lovely residency requirements. It's a lovely country I promise - just don't take our government or INS's word for it. I love your blog, love your writing, have no comprehension of what South Africa must be like and also share a particular fondness for Labradors (happen to have a doe-eyed 4 year old yellow Lab staring at me right now - her name is Betty, aka my Golden Bitch). I'm glad to hear your aunt is on the mend and I really enjoy what you've got going here!

Cheers to you!

;-)

Redsaid Author Profile Page said:

Duchess! Before you come to your senses and stop reading this extremely neglected little blog, welcome! I'm thrilled to hear from you (Merci, dear Res, for (mis)guiding others here, ha ha!) and golden girl Betty. I've just taken a peek at your blog and I laughed out loud at the whole Elizabeth Gilbert "Eat, Pray, Love" saga in your About section because at first I FELT EXACTLY THE SAME WAY ABOUT THAT DAMN BOOK! (Although only three people shoved it at me before I caved and ended up loving it too.) So needless to say, consider yourself blogrolled, added to my feed, etc.

P.S. Don't worry, despite my horrible experience with Immigration (and, actually, I was more done in by a South African(!) immigration lawyer), I still adore your country. I've been lucky enough to visit your home planet of LA-la-Land too and I would LOVE to one day come back there and even live there (or in San Fran). Thanks again for commenting, you've totally made my week!

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about
is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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comments
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Duchess! Before you come to your senses and stop reading this extremely neglected little blog, welco... [go]
  • the Duchess : Hi RedSaid! I found your blog through Res's blog (isn't Res the greatest!) and in reading your lef... [go]
  • Eldrick Woods : Happy New Year 2010! Ms. Red. Should we say the year as "Two Thousand Ten" or "Twenty-Ten"? Numeri... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Duh... I've just realised my mistake. Jonathan S. Foer's second novel isn't "Everything is Illuminat... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: terra: I thought I was the only one practicing the "head under the duvet" strategy to cope with cris... [go]
  • Po : Oh Redsaid, goo news about your aunt! But sorry to hear you hae been suffering, you poor thing. I fi... [go]
  • kim : that is GREAT news! :) happy holidays to you and your family (and try not to brake anything...) xoxo... [go]
  • terrashield : I know how you feel about hiding under the duvet and hoping everything turns out well.. I used to be... [go]
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