Pulitzer-worthy financial reporting

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So I can't count very high, right? I lost interest in Maths the minute I found out that Pi doesn't actually involve eating anything. 

There's just something about numbers that make my brain seize up and immediately misfire. Yet, I am writing, tonight, about something having to do with stats, facts, finances and figures. For work! It's about something financial and luckily I don't actually have to count, subtract, add, divide or multiply anything. But I have to wrap my mind around some new concepts and keep the numbers straight enough to at least quote them correctly.

Incidentally, the subject of finances came up with a friend as well today and I reached the following epiphany: One should never EVER launder money. Because, duh, everyone KNOWS it's dry clean only! (Especially these brand new Mandela notes that we now have here in South Africa.) 

*Rim shot* 

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here 'til now-now (South African term for anytime between now and a few centuries from this moment). 

And yes, astonishingly, people do actually take me seriously at work! 

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
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