Alphabet Soup: December 2009 Archives

Over these past few days, I think I may have broken my own record (and possibly even the world record) for accidentally breaking things within a short space of time. (Well, I did break both my arms - one at a time - when I was a kid, but that happened about four or five years apart.)

On Monday, I broke another coffee mug. On Wednesday, I broke a bottle of exquisite perfume (Eden by Cacherel. It was a lovely scent and it was still more than half full... my heart was as shattered as the perfume bottle. On the bright side: the rug in front of my closet now smells FANTASTIC.) And today, while tending to my sick-with-a-stomach-bug sister, I managed to drop a glass Coke bottle on my toes... which now FEEL as if they ought to be broken but aren't.

So in keeping with the theme of this smashing week, I have decided that tonight is as good a time as any to break my silence as well.

Now, normally my lack of blogging is due to my extreme laziness. This time, however, I was literally stunned into it. Around mid-November, I received some dreadful news. Seriously, I still go NUMB when I think about it. It involved just me and I only told my one sister, two close friends and - since she had the unfortunate timing of e-mailing me right around then and she happened to casually and politely ask how I was doing - her.

Usually, when I'm shocked (or happy, or sad, or watching Animal Planet), I cry my eyes out. Well, I did this time too (no sense in breaking tradition, is there?), but I was so sick with shock, fear and stress, that instead of reaching for the comfort food as I usually do when faced with something scary/stressful/sad, I actually stopped eating for a few days. Which, truly, is a remarkable accomplishment for the likes of me! The last time I had experienced this same kind of awful terror and stress-induced dieting, was from October to December of 2005, when my American Dream died a swift and painful death.  

Luckily, after weeks of being suspended in agonising limbo, I found out that things are going to be okay after all, but not until after I had withdrawn from the world for a bit. (That's my way of tackling problems: burrowing deeper under the duvet and hoping that all my troubles will be gone when I surface again!) Hence the silence.

Now, since the silence has been officially broken, here's the not-quite-so-breaking-anymore news:

Not only has my aunt fully recovered from her stroke, she is even BETTER than she was before! Case in point: after years of reading with glasses (I sometimes even had to read the menus out loud to her and my mom in dimly lit restaurants), she now reads perfectly without it!! Isn't that freaky? Less than two weeks after being released from hospital, she repainted the inside of her entire house. The doctors are completely amazed at her recovery. My mom said they were literally gawping at her when she went for her follow-up visit.

Oh! And I've experienced fame (well, we use the term extremely loosely) @ last as a twit-lit author (word we also use loosely): see here, but first be warned that you are about to encounter my hideous real name again. I make a brief appearance after all the really brilliant stuff and the truly talented people.

There is a bit more news involving horticulture, more gifts received (sent from locally and abroad), wildlife and what age I look (again!), but that'll have to wait until later. My stupid toes are still throbbing so much, I think I have to hop around and utter a few offending words and phrases again. I recently read that cursing when you're in pain actually helps to alleviate the soreness. So far it hasn't worked for me... but I'll gladly give it another &*%$#@!!!F!F!F shot! 

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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