Amusement Park: June 2004 Archives

Grunt Slam

Posted in Amusement Park on June 26, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (4)

"Urgh!"

"AAAARGH!"

"Urgh!"

"AAARGH!"

Continue reading Grunt Slam.

The lessons that can be learned from watching crappy T.V.

Posted in Amusement Park on June 15, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Anyone who still doubts the fact that men and women are wired very differently has clearly never seen an episode of Classmates, that “reality” show which allows people to reunite with former and currently unsuspecting school/college/military friends (or bullies, or enemies, or old flames) after several years.

Now, you may be wondering why on earth I’m watching such tripe to begin with. Or you may very well not be wondering at all. Either way, you know that I’m going to tell you why!

Continue reading The lessons that can be learned from watching crappy T.V..

What's in a name, oh new and wannabe parents?

Posted in Amusement Park on June 9, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (10)

I've been laughing so hard all afternoon that the neighbours have started banging on the walls in frustration.

Actually, they're doing some sort of extreme home makeover, but I rather like the idea that they could also be slightly annoyed by my ongoing, manic and hyena-like cackle.

The reason for my ab-strengthening outburst (does laughing-so-much-that-it-makes-your-stomach-ache-and-leaves-you-breathless count as exercise? Shall I hold my breath for six-pack abs?) is the always witty and creative Diana Goodman and her ongoing commentary on parents picking extremely bad baby names.

The awful names are actually just plain sad. But her comments are a scream! EVERY PERSON SHOULD READ IT BEFORE REGISTERING A BABY NAME.

So, pass on her URL to anyone you know who are about to have a kid. It may be too late for poor little Ms. Apple Paltrow-Martin and countless other innocents, but let's see how many little souls we can save from at least that one burden!

Warning though: don't read whilst consuming food or beverage. Could be fatal, or at the very least, incredibly messy.

P.S. If I'm not mistaken, parents somewhere in Asia were (thankfully!)prevented by a court from actually naming their kid after the devil a few years ago. I've tried looking it up online, but now I can't find it. Does anyone else remember it? Oh, and while looking - and just when I thought that it couldn't get worse - I stumbled onto this.

Anyway, if only all the crazy-name enthusiasts out there who procreate could be curbed by the courts...

In America

Posted in Amusement Park on June 2, 2004 | Permalink | Comments (11)

"In America, you don't ask for help, you demand it."

Spoken with a beautiful lilting accent by the older of the two little Irish girls in the movie "In America."

I have a new favourite quote!

So, in the spirit of the statement, can anyone swing Red a Green Card... NOW?

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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can ~~stalk her~~ send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

online

Redsaid : Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
Marco : Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
Marco : I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
Redsaid : Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
Redsaid : Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
Redsaid : I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]