Amusement Park: November 2005 Archives

Last Thursday night ("Thursty Thursday"), my beloved Bookstore Diva came to pick me up in her trusty chariot for a Night on the Tow... 'burbs.

It was all part of a brazen effort on her part to Save Red from Herself, an intricate, complex process requiring gallons of medicinal drinking.

So I made very sure that I was suitably "Thursty."

Would you believe that I actually blogged about my night out immediately upon my return?!? (Apparently the procrastination part of my personality loses strength when my drunk slightly inebriated and therefore very spontaneous and impatient self appears.

Luckily for all five of you and for everyone else involved, I forgot to press "Publish."

Today, as I was aimlessly wandering through the cluttered back corridors here at Redsaid's, I stumbled upon a dog-eared file marked: "Drunken Blogging equalsh DLOGGING! YEAH! DLOGGING! That'sh BRILLIA...zzzzzzz."

It reeked suspiciously of alcohol.

Most of the file's contents were, if not completely incoherent, unreadable from being covered in liquid stains and lipstick smears.

Here is some of what I managed to make out:

"Ociffer, Ociffer! I shwear that I will NEVER drink and drive! Naaah! I jusht pull over when I wanna take a shwig."

"Let Go (of the wheel) and let God (drive)! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Shouted into the dark field surrounding the bar's parking lot in the direction of a suspicious rustling sound which we hoped was being caused by a deer (although Bookstore Diva insisted it could quite possibly have been a gigantic bat): "Be a deer and if you were born here and not in Canada, marry her so she can get a Green Card!"

That Bookstore Diva girl has the most amazing super powers, because not only did the dear deer agree to elope, BUT ALL THE DRINKS WERE ON THE HOUSE!!

Hey, Diva girl! It's Thursday and I'm THURSTY again.

Don't look at me that way! YOU have created this monster.

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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