June 11, 2004
Look Mom, it's Namedropping Strange-Talkin' South African Invaders!
Alphabet Soup

I'm feeling a little under the weather today, and it's been drizzling and kind of cold outside, so the fact that I'm feeling under that should give you a good idea as to my condition and you should all be very sympathetic and immediately send soup.

Don't worry. I think I'll survive. If only to continue annoying a few (read: thousands of) people.

So, what else can I tell you in my very South African accent?

Oh, speaking of which, in case any of you have ever wondered what a South African accent sounds like (and of course you have, because that's exactly the type of thing Americans wonder about constantly, right?
"Mmmm. Say, Ethel, how do you think South Africans talk?"
"Why, Harold. Everyone knows they speak with their mouths, just like us!"), you could've found out today if you had managed to catch a bit of President Reagan's funeral service in California where the very South African Reverend Michael Wenning officiated.

Yes, that is indeed what I sound like. (Only without the deep, male voice.) And that is what Charlize Theron also could've sounded like to this very day had she not watched too many Love Boat reruns on television. (Of course, the fact that she now has a multi-award winning movie career worth a few gazillion dollars thanks to that very same Love Boat accent (okay, AND her long legs, blue eyes, rockin' body, acting ability... grrr) is entirely besides the point.)

Now that I'm into this whole namedropping thing about notable South Africans: Anyone ever heard of a singing/song-writing/guitar playing guy named Dave Matthews? Yeah, I thought not. He's kind of obscure, but the whole South African community is holding out hope that he'll make it big one day, like when the "ants [come] marching" or when "satellites" spin around the earth...

(Please don't stop me. I'm amusing myself.)

Oh, and if you've ever watched Sixty Minutes II on CBS, you may have caught another whiff of the old accent as brought to the American public on an almost weekly basis by the lovely South African expatriate television reporter Ms Lara Logan.

There are even more (excluding me, ha ha), but luckily for you, I've run out of steam for the time being.

So, why don't you regale me with your very own encounters of the South African kind?

And if you have encountered any South Africans, then you obviously know what the accent sounds like, which makes this entry entirely useless.


Redsaid | 11:56 PM