September 23, 2004
Bad News

I'm not quite sure how to begin this post.

You see, yesterday we received some really REALLY bad news. That's not the reason why I've been so quiet on here lately. In fact, it has nothing to do with my silence. Suddenly the reasons for my silence seem very insignificant and trivial now. So much so that I suddenly can't really remember what they were at all.

I don't want to use the bad news as "blog fodder," but writing is something I use to work something out in my head (or out of my mind, for that matter. Exorcise the demons, so to speak). To try and explain things to myself, you know? To bring understanding and hopefully, eventually, peace.

But now I have to use writing to somehow make it real, because shock has made me numb and disbelieving.

Yesterday, my darling boy's father's house burned down. It was a historic mansion, built in 1875 on a hill in a small Tennessean town. It's the place where the boy and his brother were born and grew up; one of the first buildings that inspired the boy to become an architect. After his parents divorced, his father stayed on there and because it was too big just for himself, he decided to share it with the world by turning it into a beautiful inn.

And now, just like that, in the blink of an eye, it has been lost.

The boy is surprisingly philosophical: just grateful that his father - who was still living there until yesterday - wasn't home at the time. Grateful that there weren't any guests at the time. But still... Perhaps when it sinks in, there will be more sadness. For now, he is in operational mode, on the phone and trying to find out what can be done to help. He even said to me: "It was just material things."

And yes... but, am I just a sentimental fool to think that a childhood home is more than that?

It's a double wammy for his family: last week, during Ivan the terrible, his mom's Florida condo was lost. Her attitude about that loss is also wonderful, though, because she said that it wasn't her main home, and she felt so heartbroken for all those who DID lose their main residences.

They're both right of course. We should be grateful that everyone is still all right.

I just feel so utterly helpless and really sad for them all.


Redsaid | 02:19 AM