January 31, 2005
Brace Yerselves: She's Red Again
Alphabet Soup

Hope you enjoyed the break from me, because I'm back to once again torture you with my verbosity, to assault your senses with my bad tenses and yes, let's not forget my gross overindulgence in parentheses and exclamation points. (Why wait? Let's start immediately!!!! My frozen fingers need the exercise!)

Seriously though... sorry if I worried you! I'm really okay now. I just needed a bit of time away. Thank you for your patience during this time and for all the concerned and witty comments and the private e-mails to check if I'm still alive. Yes, alas, there is life in me yet. But is it intelligent life? (Don't answer that unless it's a resounding YES!)

I might eventually go into more details about why I had the blues, but for now I'll just say that it has a LOT to do with my life (or lack of) as an outlawed alien and for the fact that my AV (Alien Vessel. Yes, it's sounds almost like RV because it bears an uncanny resemblance to a flying Winnebago) has been in the same holding pattern for a very long time now.

On the upside: Apparently I couldn't have picked a better time for my bout of depression. I'm sure a lot of you heard about the British shrink who declared that last Monday (the 24th) was the worst Monday of the year.

In case you didn't know that last Monday was supposed to be the worst Monday of the year and you wish to believe that TODAY is the worst Monday of the year, I can only say that you need to take it up with Dr. Cliff Arnalls himself. Besides, he cited concrete evidence like self-loathing due to derailed New Year's resolutions, fading Christmas memories, debt, foul weather and the lack of coffee and a canine companion. (Okay, not really the last two. I just wanted to see whether the boy is paying attention to my not so subtle hints.) He even wrote a formula for his calculated Day of Misery: 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA.

Just change the 3/8 into 2/4 and the D-d into an R-r and accept it as my doctor's note for why I was absent for so long.

(Oh, and don't forget to put the whole thing in parenthesis.)

Redsaid | 03:30 PM