June 30, 2005
On Second Thoughts
Alphabet Soup

Regarding the incident in the bookstore, I suppose I should be grateful that it was just an overzealous Jehovah's Witness ambushing me, and not an overzealous "Hubbard's Witness" like "Doctor" Tomkat* Cruise instead.

For one, I'm sure he would've lectured me for hours because of the bottles and bottles of Ritalin I handed out like candy to all the children who were in my care when I was a nanny. I would've tried to make him understand that I had no choice, because if I hadn't given them the drugs, they would've grown up to behave exactly like he did on Oprah and The Today Show.

On the other hand, in the name of recruiting yet another potential money donour to Scientology, maybe he would've been willing to overlook and even forgive and forget my days as a children's chemist? Perhaps my current plight as an outlawed alien would've won him over?

Maybe he would've looked at all the how-to books in my arms and then his recruitment tactic would've been to butter me up by telling me that he believes in me?

Because, you know, he really DOES believe in aliens.

* Thank you, Salami.


Redsaid | 11:45 AM