Recently in Dishing Category

Eat your hearts out!

I've just returned from the Good Food and Wine Show at the Cape Town International Convention Centre, and it was every bit as delicious as you can possibly imagine.

Those of you who are familiar with my cooking skills (or miserable lack thereof) are surely yelling: “Culinary blasphemy, having a show of that calibre wasted on the likes of HER!”

Luckily, being able to cook is NOT a requirement for admission to the show!

My jaw hinges work just as expertly as those of any gourmet chef, see. And I should know. They, along with my taste buds, really earned their keep today!

(Is it possible to gain 30 pounds in a day?)

The day started off in the front row at a cooking demonstration led by Brit Celeb-chef (he cooks AND he is funny! Bonus!) Antony Worrell Thompson. I don't even remember what dish he demonstrated (I vaguely remember tuna being slapped around and unspeakable things happening to a late chicken), but I DO remember one of his quips:

Apparently, as a celebrated chef, he hardly ever gets invited to dinner parties. Shame.

In one of the rare instances that he had been invited, though, he remembers the evening as follows:

At 7:30 pm, arrives and is plied with drinks by host. Hostess, who is responsible for dinner preparation, is nowhere in sight.

8:30 pm. Still no sign of hostess. More drinks poured by increasingly more nervous host.

9:00 pm and he can't wait any longer. So he decides to go and lend a helping hand in the kitchen.

9:02 pm. Arrives in kitchen. Hostess not there! Oh, wait... he walks around the counter, sees hostess flat on the floor, empty wine bottle in hand, weeping.

And then he sees why. On the counter, an open cookbook... written by Gordon Ramsey!

*Drum roll! Rim Shot! Ha ha ha!*

He proceeded to crack several more jokes about 'his foe Ramsey'.

After the show, he graciously held a meet and greet and book signing. My sister, a huge fan and avid cookbook collection (let's put it this way: her sentiments about cookbooks run as passionately deep as mine do for how-to books), lugged all of his cookbooks from her collection to be signed.

In an irresistible moment, when we got to the front of the line, we said in unison: "It's such an HONOUR to meet you, Mr. RAMSEY!"

At which he grinned and gave us the finger.

The rest of the day we remained in a festive fantasy world, with exhibitors sticking their sample trays filled with the most divine delicacies under our noses, simply BEGGING us to have a taste.

(Yes, indeed. I've always fantasised about people begging me to eat. In my dream, though, it was because they thought I was so desperately skinny, and needed the fattening up. So what if I don't really have the protruding hip and cheek bones I sport in my fantasy not all of my fantasy came true in an accurate manner?)

I brought leftovers for everyone, but the dog ate it.

So instead, you'll have to be satisfied with this: (Warning: NOT for the real photographers among you! Please keep in mind that these were taken with a humble cell phone. By me. And if you think my cooking leaves a lot to be desired for..!)


is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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