Jaw-Dropping Awe: March 2006 Archives

Among the things in life I really find unfair (like animal abuse, war, corruption, the existence of certain U.S. Immigration lawyers, inflation, tax, throttled and capped broadband use… actually, let’s save some time and just say, the mere EXISTENCE of Hellkom) are women who dye their hair red and end up looking way better with red hair than some of us who are natural redheads. And those same women who then just happen to also be beautiful, AND clever, AND talented, AND funny… and so genuinely nice, you can’t even hate them for committing all the aforementioned sins.

And if you don’t think that such women exist, well… I know of ONE such specimen (er… speciwomen?). Like me, she is South African – but sadly, that’s where I should stop trying to find parallels between us. But I’m going to try anyway: the red hair, even though hers is just temporary. (But from the gray white strands appearing on my own head, so is mine, apparently.) And we’re both on a certain side of a certain decade… and… yes, well… sadly, that’s it.

Oh, and for further examination and intensive study, she can be found here.

I know those things about her, not only because I’ve been stalking her on her blog since… well, so far back, I don’t even remember. But because – and hold onto your hats for this one – I have MET her! In PERSON!

In other words, believe it or not, neither of us was grasping a mouse or tethered to a keyboard, our complexions illuminated by the soft glow of the computer screen. We were actually speaking to each other. FACE to FACE. In BROAD DAYLIGHT!

Apparently this archaic practice of interacting with other people without the assistance of some sort of computer or telephone was all the rage a long, long time ago. I must say, even though it was strange to communicate without typing and looking at a computer screen, I found the experience oddly PLEASANT. Weird, huh?

She braved Stellenbosch rush-hour traffic (consisting of fleets of BMWs, SUVs, and the odd mule, ostrich, and elephant) and my coffee-making skills (ha ha! I mentioned “skills” and myself in one sentence!), and she came all the way from the neighbouring town just because I was absolutely desperate and begged to meet her she wanted to meet me. Me!?!

She was awarded for her efforts with coffee so strong that it lurched out of her cup and curdled her blood, and a few lopsided cupcakes on the side. (I know nobody will believe me, since my lack of culinary knowledge is legendary, but those lopsided cupcakes were BOUGHT. And when they were bought, they were NOT lopsided. They only became a tad lopsided during the journey home.)

Oh, and she was also cursed rewarded for her efforts with me chatting her ear off. (So just call her Van Gogh. But depending on which side of her head she holds the phone to, she might not hear you. Har har.)

Seriously though, the girl is delightful. If you have never read her blog, you should know that you have been missing out. She exudes the same kind of restful vibe in person as she does through her writing and astonishing photography on her blog. At the same time, she is also funny and way too clever for her own good.

And now I shall exercise (ha ha! I used “exercise” and myself in one sentence!) great restraint and stop gushing.

P.S. She has been sworn to life-long secrecy (with an afterlife-long clause thrown in for good measure, in case she decides to have herself frozen and thawed in a million years’ time, or in case she has herself cloned, or in case she has an evil identical twin), and therefore no one will EVER know that I’m really just a crazy, erratic dirty old man who despises parentheses (really!) and who merely pretends on the web to be this crazy, yet gorgeous Nicole Kidman look-alike girl with legs for miles and an addiction to parentheses…

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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