Jaw-Dropping Awe: May 2006 Archives

Two for my baby

| | Comments (8)

Exactly two years ago today, after I had heaved and pushed and struggled and spat out several words of little eloquence, she, assisted by her and her, delivered my baby.

It was love at first byte.

Like all new mothers, I was immediately enamoured by my child. I believed she* was the most beautiful in the world, unmatched by her peers. A lot of people agreed with me, and of course, I believed every one of them.

Quite a surprising amount of people took an interest in my newborn's life, but unfortunately that initial enthusiasm and popularity were short-lived.

For the first few months of her life, my babe had a healthy orange glow to her skin.

A few months later – on my birthday, in fact - I awoke to find that she had turned blue overnight! Since she had already been quite lethargic and unusually quiet at that point, no one was particularly alarmed. In fact, I was rather deelighted by her new look and thought it was an exciting change!

Her new hue was not due to what many had mistakenly thought to be a rare virus, and she survived, which is a good thing, since her skin has remained blue ever since. (But just in case - and some people might find this peculiar and slightly macabre - I have already composed a few epitaphs on her behalf.)

And speaking of survival. We've been through a lot together, the two of us.

She has tolerated my trips down memory lane, my rare travels away from her, and the general neglect she suffered when I ignored her, and when I was too lazy or too busy with other things to spend time with her.

Like a champ, she has endured my cooking attempts. She has been a faithful, uncritical witness every time I attempted a new hobby.

Together, we’ve survived an almost devastating blow, and every day, we are getting through the somewhat arduous, definitely strange process of repatriating to a homeland that she has never known before now, except through the stories she has heard from me.

But there have been good times too. A year ago, on her first birthday, we received well wishes from one of our heroes, none other than Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Connie Schultz!

And when she was a few months old, she miraculously won a contest!

I know I didn’t have her in my life for 29 years, but now I don’t know what I would do (and often would have done, over these past two years) without her. You have to believe me when I say that she has changed my life for the better.

Whenever my life in the United States, so far away from home, seemed bleak, she gave me a reason to get up, to write my nonsense and in so doing, to connect with others. It has led to friendships in unexpected places, and even to a few excitingreal lifeencounters.

She has been a conversation starter, a secret, a passion, a load off, a joy, an amusement (well, to myself at least, even if not to others!), a haven, and a friend. But most importantly, she has been the one thing that has remained a faithful constant in my life at a point when so many other people and things and dreams turned out to be false and fickle.

Today she is officially entering her terrible two’s. Luckily, I’ve lived with my two-year old nephew, so I believe that I know a bit of what’s in store for me.

Besides, even before turning this infamous age, she has already displayed some shocking behaviour (like running up shocking phone and internet bills – granted, that happened with my help).

Dare we ask what could happen next**?

Happy birthday, blog. I love having you and I’ll be forever grateful to Emily for having that contest which brought you into my life, and for everyone who, for reasons utterly beyond my grasp, keeps on reading and egging us on with their comments.

* I'm sure there's a rule somewhere in the infinite cyber blogosphere stating that one's blog should be the same sex as you are. Which would therefore make Red a girl. (WHADOYOUMEAN Am I sure?!?)

* Swearing? Tantrums? Even MORE whining?!? Well, she can start cursing like a right sailor, for all I care, as long as she starts absorbing a LOT less spam.

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
top commenters
archive by category

winner of
I won this blog!

winner of best writing

retro dots skin designed with care by

liberty belle skin designed with care by

hosted with love by

script assistance by
MT Blacklist

one reader and counting... by

Locations of visitors to this page
with these rings, I thee join

Blog Baltimore


South Africa's Top Sites
South African Blog Top Sites

I shmaak SA Blogs, sorted with Amatomu.com


Geolocalisation des internautes

Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.