Jaw-Dropping Awe: March 2008 Archives

What does it take to pluck a blog from the murky, despairing, solitary depths of the worldwide cobweb... that creepy, perpetually dim corner of the Internet where largely ignored and highly obscure websites dwell? And which, coincidentally (or not), has happened to be the sole domain of this little blog for the last... well... many, many months?

You employ the likes of THIS girl genius! (Henceforth to be known as my lucky charm... she'll find out why in a bit. And it doesn't JUST have to do with the fact that this blog is being forced down the throats of unsuspecting feed readers well-fed again!) She prodded and poked me with a stick, and then did all sorts of web genius things to get me operational again...

And so here I am and able to say: Hello my scores of imaginary readers! It really is delightful to be back among your feeds!

WhadoyouMEAN you didn't realise that I was even gone?!? Thanks... I know it's been a few days weeks months, but you have to admit... that's a long stretch, even for me, the World's Laziest Blogger. I've lazily held onto that title for five years in a row, I'll have you know. And that's rather remarkable... especially if one considers that I have only been blogging for three and a half years!

Speaking of years... Wow, what a year 2008 has been so far!

Frankly, I was really really glad to see 2007 go. And normally, I'm so sentimental, I can hardly stand to leave a room! Let alone huge chunks of time (like years), or certain countries, or let go of my ever expanding collection of How-to books.

2007 lived up to its last three numbers since it REALLY kicked my arse. That's probably why I didn't have too many qualms to kick it on ITS puny little behind when the time came! In fact, had it been up to me? 2007 could have ended a year ago already...

2008 started off with a rather literal bang. And I'm not just talking about the fireworks which probably severed a few of its detonators' limbs (is 'detonator' even the correct word to call a drunken amateur who lights and sets off fireworks?) at the beach in Gansbaai where I was, scaring dogs and children and endlessly amusing inebriated adults for kilometres around (and yes, that last bit - the scaring dogs and children part? I'm totally talking about myself and not about the fireworks... sadly I don't think I was the one amusing the drunk adults...)!

No, the literal bang refers to the next morning, when my first act upon waking up was to slam my enormous noggin' against the bottom of the top bunk bed (of COURSE the youngest daughter is assigned the kiddie room at the beach house, didn't you know?).

And no, of COURSE no one believed that my ensuing headache was the result of that rude awakening and had NOTHING to do with what I may or may not have consumed the night before!

Okay, so that was basically all you missed until January 1st 2008. Riveting, 'eh?

See why I haven't been blogging?!?

(So as a dinosaur veteran , I would just like to take it upon myself to give the novice bloggers out there some advice: When you start a blog? It's a good idea to have a bit of a life first that you can write about. Or, if not? Then at least a HELL of an imagination!)

But my sad lack of a life and imagination are really not the only reasons why I haven't blogged. Even though I'm sure you'll agree that they are all very valid reasons.

I'll spare you the rather gory details (exploding computers, for one...), but let's just say that me not writing? Well, it has paid off in spades.

You see, the South African blogging community has been soooo grateful at not having to be subjected to my feeble attempts in a while, THEY HAVE NOMINATED ME FOR THE 2008 SOUTH AFRICAN BLOG AWARDS!!!!

No, I can't believe it either... and if you (or they) or anyone else were to look closely at the three (THREE!!!) categories I am nominated in (and no, smart arses, they do NOT have categories called Worst Writing and Most Boring Blog On Earth, Let Alone in South Africa), you'll see that it had to just be a major oversight... a gross mistake!

But will what is clearly a huge mistake prevent me from shamelessly begging for your votes or resort to downright bribery to get it out of you? Well... no. Of course not.

So please clickety-click on that there fancy SA Blog Awards 2008 widget so beautifully embedded by Miss Dee in the left hand column (a.k.a. the sidebar) of this blog and vote for me?

If you don't, you might just leave me no choice but to do something awful... like BLOG EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)


  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Terra: YES! Wait... you didn't think that I would be this possessed to post for NO REASON, did ya???... [go]
  • Terra.Shield : OH! ... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: Be a bit like serving drinks at AA?... [go]
  • Marco Author Profile Page: I personally think it is a mindset that has been cultivated over the years, and one, if not stemmed,... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Ms. Crazy Cat Lady Pants!!! Squeeeee! Sooo good to see you! (I thought NO ONE was bothering to read ... [go]
  • Ms. Pants : Kitties don't get enough credit sometimes. (All times, if you ask me, but I'm a Crazy Cat Lady.)... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: Hey Tamara! I know, right?? That is a tough act to follow indeed. I adored that dentist. He used to ... [go]
  • Tamara Tipton : Well, I am not sure how any dentist could live up to that standard! LOL! I hope your appointment was... [go]
  • Redsaid Author Profile Page: I'm really really glad that I'm not the only one, Po! Sometimes I drive myself mad with all the what... [go]
  • Po : Those questions run through my heads for various times in my life too, that is for sure!... [go]
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