I was staying over at a friend's house in D.C. after attending her birthday bash, and her beautiful dog and I were the only creatures who were still awake at that hour. (Add insomnia to my list of ailments and conditions)

I was on the living room couch, reading a book and stroking the dog's ears.

Except for me turning a page, the AC, the occasional creaking of a floorboard and our breathing, everything was quiet in the house.

Until...

I gradually became aware of another sound.

The peaceful and contented purring of a cat.

I kept on reading and then I suddenly sat up with a jolt when I remembered that (cue scary thriller music) my friend doesn't have a cat!

Filled with sudden suspicion about the pureness of its lineage, I stared at the dog and - when it eventually began to stare back at me (and it's never a good sign when a dog stares back at you, especially not if it has a strange look in its eyes and saliva dripping from its jowls ) I put my ear close to its mouth and listened.

(Let me just add and emphasize that I really wasn't drunk.)

After listening to the dog's breathing for a few minutes, I became convinced that the dog was NOT somehow channeling a feline spirit.

However, the purring was still continuing at a steady pace and therefore the mystery still wasn't solved.

I looked under and behind the furniture for the hidden cat. (Although I knew full well that my friend would never have a cat or even look after someone else's, because her dog, who has a natural canine hatred towards all things cat-related, would devour it in one gulp.) The purring was loud, so it couldn't be very far away. (When I started crawling about on the floor, the dog cocked its head and watched me for a second before deciding that it would be better off by finding accommodation elsewhere. So before I knew it, the dog sprinted upstairs, leaving me to my own devices.)

After going around the room (yes, I was fairly obsessed about finding this invisible cat) and even into the adjacent kitchen (the purring never losing any volume, no matter how far away I ventured), I came to the slow realization that the purring was audible every time I took a breath. And even then it took me a moment to grasp that:

I WAS THE PURRER! (Is that even a word? Well, if not, then it is now.)

Yes, I'm quick on the uptake like that.

It was the weirdest thing, because I didn't feel a thing (not like when one has bronchitis - which I've had the "pleasure" of ailing from before - when every wheezing breath one takes is a painful struggle). My throat didn't have to be cleared and I didn't have any trouble when in- or exhaling. And my throat or chest wasn't even sore.

No matter how deep or shallow my breathing, the sound continued. And more than a day later, I'm still at it.

I'm absolutely stumped about what it could possibly be, because I still have no pain, and yet I'm still purring like a kitty who is getting a head scratch.

Any thoughts? (I'm not a smoker, and I also don't hang out in smoke-filled places or around people who smoke all that often.)

Come on then! Diagnose me, please!

Could it be that my wish to have a raspy voice is finally coming true after being slightly misinterpreted? (Yes, indeed, be careful what you wish for. Or if you're still going to make a wish, be really, really specific and clear about asking the universe for EXACTLY what you want.)

* By the way, you'd better add hypochondria to the list of psychological afflictions!

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