Okay, so if you don't know what I'm talking about (as usual?) and you're too lazy busy to click on the above link or to scroll down to the previous post and read all about the e-mail account that has been taunting me with the existence of a phantom post, well, then I suppose I'll just have to tell you all over again how I have this e-mail account that has been taunting me by telling me that I have one new e-mail in my inbox when there really isn't any new e-mail in my inbox.

Got it? Good.

This has been going on for THREE TERRIBLE DAYS.

And I'm a Virgo. So these types of things annoy me ever so slightly, you know? (Plus, I'm way too curious to give it a rest, just in case someone really DID send me an e-mail and I'm too dumb to find it, thereby missing out on a potential ego boost. Oh, come on, just allow me to fantasize a little, won't you?)

Anyway... so yesterday, I warily opened up said possessed e-mail account.

I saw: Inbox: 4.

So I knew that, unless the cyber demons had decided to go soft on me and take their demonizing business elsewhere, I actually only had three new e-mails.

(Believe me, calculating that was an extraordinary feat considering my absolute lack of mathematical skills.)

And, by George, there it was: three e-mails boldly proclaiming their purity of being unread.

Eagerly I opened up the first one. And the second one! Oh, the indescribable joy of having real, unread messages!

I optimistically proceeded to the third e-mail. It was a message from Germany (but luckily it wasn't more exotic German spam) and from her.

I read it. And here I just have to admit that it took place before I had the chance to drink my morning coffee, so I was obviously a bit confused.

Even so, my decaffeinated confused self was suddenly a bit more puzzled than usual, and wondering if perhaps the serious withdrawal symptoms caused by her not having seen her man in such a long time had begun to take a toll on her memory or something, because the message I was reading seemed awfully familiar to me.

In fact, it seemed to be a verbatim copy of a comment that she had sent me just a few days earlier. (Not that I particularly mind copies, you know? I mean, even replicas of old messages are better than having no new messages at all. And it's DEFINITELY better than having a stubborn, sticky phantom mail!)

So I checked my blog, just to make sure that she had indeed decided to resend her previous comment.

And guess what? It wasn't on the blog!

I immediately logged back into the e-mail account. What did I find there?

That's right. Inbox: 2.

Cue the Psycho soundtrack, because:

There was still no sign of any new e-mails...

It took a while for the harsh reality to penetrate the layer of fog and shock in my mind and bring home the fact that my phantom, demonic e-mail has spontaneously (and overnight) spawned another. And Kim, I'm afraid it used that previous message from you to procreate.

(Don't worry, I'm not blaming you! Perhaps I'm just a little afraid of you now... JUST kidding.)

Anyway, I've checked and rechecked to see that there really isn't any mail that's simply been overlooked. And really, REALLY, there isn't.

And still, every single time I log on, it continues to taunt me: Inbox 2.

Thus I'm left emotionally scarred (so much so that I nearly wrote e-motionally... damn e-mail!) and almost longing for the good ol'e days (not so long ago, mind you) when I often logged in to find this: Inbox: 0.

Almost... but not quite though.

And I've finally reached the following conclusion:

THIS must be why mail is a homonym for MALE!

(Update: The delicious owner of Big Pink Cookie and blogger extraordinaire Christine - who also happens to be redsaid's gracious hostess - has offered an expert and helping hand to exterminate the phantom mails AND to help me with a whole array of other things that I didn't even know was possible. Yes, it is really that evident that I am in dire need of an "eedjukasion". Oh, girl, you are SO on! And thank you in advance for the saintly patience that my general dunceness is going to require of you.)

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