Okay, so people getting fired over their blogs are SO last night's ABC World News Tonight with Peter Jennings already.

What I'm far more interested in knowing is this: has starting a blog ever helped someone to actually land a gig? I know someone who started a blog for the sole purpose of getting a job. I think it worked for him, because right now he is dragging his pretentious book cover a few miles across Australia to start a new job. But he doesn't really count (sorry, Timmy T.) because he is really not human at all (as will be evident soon enough if you start reading his blog), but a chocolate cake of quite loathsome proportions.

Speaking of chocolate cakes... if you know of someone who did indeed manage to acquire gainful employment via their blogs, how much blogging did it take before the prospective employers came running, five tiered chocolate cake in one hand... oh, sorry. Wrong fantasy.

Let's try again.

So how long did it take for the prospective employers to come running, multi-million dollar, ink-still-wet-on-it contract in one hand and key to the luxury company car dangling from the fingers of the other hand, begging you to please enhance their humble little gazillion dollar company with your suspected glorious wit and wisdom ("suspected" because it's never actually been seen on your blog), your excellent typing skills of three words per five minutes (because they realise that it's your quirky but PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE, even ENCOURAGED affection for parentheses and asterisks and inappropriate insertion of exclamation points that could be slowing you down just a tiny bit) and your "disleksick" Kr8tiViteeeeEeeeeEe shining through in your perfect spellling and bad grammar (but they understand because Eengleesh is your second langweeeege) and constant procrastination.

What? What do you mean? NO OF COURSE THAT DID NOT DESCRIBE ME. What on earth in that above paragraph could possibly have incriminated me!?!?

Besides, I have an alibi. I was with a dog. (And he is willing to testify to that effect.)

Anyway, where were we?

Oh yeah. A job. Yes, that is something I would like very much. Well, truthfully, I prefer lying on the couch, but I have urgent life sustaining needs (like my need for three gallons of coffee per day) and my how-to book collection is seriously lacking.

Also, you can't get fired for your blog if you don't have a job to be fired from first. (See my logic? How can any employer resist such reasoning?)

So employers, here I am! And here's a copy of my resumé. It's a little bit outdated, but I've heard that it's against the law to discriminate just because you think something might be a bit old. (And I know a LOT about American law, especially since I'm a bit of an outlaw myself and all.)