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is a South African girl living in South Africa. That doesn't sound very original, we know, but you might find it remotely interesting when you learn that she has only recently returned to South Africa for the first time after a nine year, one month and two week (non-stop!) stint in the United States where she accidentally became an outlawed alien (also known, especially in immigration circles, as an 'illegal immigrant.' We prefer the term 'outlawed alien' ourselves). During her reversed exile from her homeland, she kept herself occupied by winning this website (but only after shamelessly bribing the judges) and thus being unleashed on the web where she slowly, leisurely became the World's Laziest Blogger; by being a nanny and by attending sci-fi conventions in search of other aliens. In the US, she also made her sailing debut, her international acting debut, tried and failed to learn the piano, and never learned to cook. She is hopelessly addicted to coffee, dogs (especially Labrador Retrievers), how-to books (with a particular fondness for her copy of the Time/Life A - Z Medical Encyclopedia), and she tends to grossly overuse parentheses (we're not kidding) during her attempts at writing, which you may - if you really have masochistic tendencies - subject yourself to by reading the words to the right of this column. If you REALLY and truly STILL want to know more, you can read her C.V. here.
Or you can stalk her send her some love via e-mail at: redsaid[AT]gmail[DOT]com

The Wish List (Because yes, she really does need more how-to books. Honestly!)

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Copyright belongs to the author (ha ha! She called herself an author!) of this website.
May 28, 2005
You never know who might stumble across your blog
Jaw-Dropping Awe

Today is this blog's first birthday!

And I had this whole entry planned out (really, I did) complete with the following bad poem (which I shall only give you the beginning of, since that's all I've written so far):

One year ago today, this blog was won
And one year later, this blog is one!*

* Take THAT, 9th Grade Mathematics teacher who swore that I would never be able to reason with logic when it comes to any number above zero and added that I will subsequently also never amount to anything!

So yeah, I really had this long post planned out (it was all perfectly crafted in my head, which is, sadly, where most of my perfectly crafted words forever remain) about how this blog was sponsored by Emily (who dreamed up the contest and gave me my domain, and who has consistently bailed me out of several jams related to my ill knowledge of anything remotely technological), Joelle (who designed this blog with her usual flair) and Christine (my gracious hostess) and how lovely it's been to have a blog of my very own and how utterly astounding it still is to have actual readers and comments that aren't spam!

And I was going to thank all three of you, my loyal readers, for wasting your precious time by reading and commenting on here.

And I was going to say how sorry I am that I'm so notoriously bad for not responding to all the lovely comments that I get, using the fact that I'm a forgetful procrastinator as an excuse for not replying.

And I was going to share my New Blog Year resolutions with you, including the resolution that I shall from now on reply to your comments IN the comments on the blog... that way you'll see that you're really NOT being ignored, and that way I won't run the risk of losing the e-mails notifying me of your comments in the sea of spam I have to wade through on a daily basis, and that way it will also look as if I have an impressive amount of comments on my blog even though the reality is that I don't.

And I was going to give a shout-out to Kalisa and Carmen, who were also winners in last year's Win-a-Blog contest.

And I was going to resolve to try and indulge in less parentheses (who am I kidding, though?) and I was going to promise to try and write better. (Again, who am I kidding!?)

And I was going to tell you that, in case you were hoping that this blog would go dark now that my freebie year is up, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but the boy has just bought the blog a birthday cake and renewed everything that had to be renewed (except for the hosting. Thanks for your e-mail and your assurance that you won't cut me off, Christine!), so I'll be up and running for at least another year.

But my plan to write all of this in a nice long post suddenly flew out the window, because this afternoon, out of the blue, I received the most astonishing e-mail!

Remember my latest hero, Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Connie Schultz? (If you don't, scroll down to the previous entry, because that's where I gushed about her.)

This afternoon, as I was performing my daily ritual of deleting thousands of spam mails, I suddenly saw an e-mail with a subject that caused me to do a double-take before causing me to launch into a long and high-pitched scream.

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Redsaid | 08:04 PM